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    2io THE TOMAHAWK. [September 21, 1867.

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    THE MODERN THEOPHRASTUS.

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    No. II.—THE YOUNG MILITARY MAN. In treat...

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    SHADY PLACES.

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    It has long been the fashion to cry out ...

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  • Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.

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    Second Notice. Last In Week The , Articl...

    No actor can see her , no musician can hear her , without marvelling at the rare amount of talent evinced by her . That her sphere of art is a low one—perhaps the lowest—no one will deny , but her pre-eminence J in that sphere is also undeniable , and , at the risk of shocking some of our readers , we venture to think that many queens of song now before

    the public , whose names are cherished by lovers of the opera , will find themselves matched and outdone before Madlle . Theresa meets her ! j equal But . let us leave the heroine of the Alcazar . In England there are j numerous who representatives can afford the of least her idea faults of , her but merits we shall . We seek had in a vain twofold for anyone object in alluding to the Parisian Cafe Chantantandalthough the

    French Music Hall is liable to reproach in certain , matters , , we think I that some things might with advantage be transjxlanted in England . I Imprimis you will find in most cases , a trim little orchestra of efficient j performers , who rattle merrily through one or two overtares , a valse , or a march , and so forth , and who , if need be , are fit to play a better

    class of music in fair style . There are generally singers of some prej operatic tension who airs , are and , equal in short to , the the class proper of entertainment performance of is such romances as reason and - able folks may take pleasure in hearing . We wish that as much could i be said for our Music Halls ! Until , however , the entire organisation of these places of amusement is remodelledand until decent music and

    fair cultivation take the ground which is now , occupied by buffoonery and vulgarity , no good result may be hoped for . We have spoken our mind pretty plainly in this matter , and there are two and possibly more of these Music Halls which may not justly 1 come under the strictures which we have passed upon the institutions in

    j general . Of the exceptions which strike us , the Alhambra , with its well-mounted ballets and capital sceneiy , may be cited as one , whilst the music rooms known as Evans ' s , in Covent Garden , constitutes the other . In the latter case , the audience consists of men alone , and the entertainment _ is made up of songsgleesand part songsexecuted by a

    \ vell-U ained choir - , in which j- will o ' , be O found , boys X with fresh , — and lusty - * I voices which it does one's heart good to hear . There was , it is true , a funereal comedian there , whose name , we fancy , was Mr . Harry Sidney , but if we are right , he has taken his talents elsewhere , and at Evans's the visitor will now chance to hear good music well executed .

    The establishment is admirably conducted , and as for the beaming proprietor , may his shadow never be less , and may his hospitable snuff-box never be empty ! j It will be seen that we have jiot touched upon the more serious quesi tion of the evil influence exercised by the majority of Music Halls as they

    are now conducted , and we have purposely refrained from doing so . If the morality of a Briton is to be attacked , the best course is to make , in the first place , an appeal to his common sense . We have endeavoured to point out the utter stupidity [ and worthlessness of the entertainments which are to be heard at these places all over Londonand it remains

    , for the public to contribute its quota towards a general reformation , so that , in time , the Music Hall may really furnish a home for music , instead of being , as at present , an insult to the art from which it has filched the name .

    2io The Tomahawk. [September 21, 1867.

    2 io THE TOMAHAWK . [ September 21 , 1867 .

    The Modern Theophrastus.

    THE MODERN THEOPHRASTUS .

    No. Ii.—The Young Military Man. In Treat...

    No . II . —THE YOUNG MILITARY MAN . In treating of the young military man , we will first talk of the infantry officer , as this species is more numerous than that of the cavalry officer . He is easy to be known from his dress and his manner . His trousers _ __ . _ are __ . _ generall ^^ _ _ y very tig t ht fittingj and show off - to - perfection . ___ _

    — — — _ — t _^ j- ^ , - . _ the scantiness of his legs ; his coat is generally cut short , so as to give him the appearance of something like a bantam cock ; his neckties are generally of a rather decided colour , and altogether there is something of the groom and not a little of the billiard marker about his whole appearance . He may be seen to great perfection at clubs lately

    established , or others which are not very exclusive ; he comes into the room with a swaggering gait , always with his hat on , frequently tapping his legs with a short cane , and sometimes chewing a toothpick in a very ferocious fashion ; he glares round him as if the presence of everybody else — _ . " . were __ a — personal ^ insult . He orders the waiters about with an air

    which he has evidently acquired in the barrack-room , and he immediately . seizes possession of every sporting paper , which he will read completely through ; in fact this is the literature to which he mainly devotes his splendid intellect . He knows Sunday by its being the day when he gets his Jh'lVs JJfc , which is his Bible . He affects an

    vmbounded knowledge of racing matters , and will tell you the current odds as glibly as a merchant does the price of stock ; he has learnt most of the J \ acin ^ Calendar by heart , and talks of the favourite horses as if he were the bosom friend of all the stable boys in Newmarket . ] le bets largely , and to see him with his book in hand putting down

    " twenties to one " in " fivers " you would never think he had nothing but his pay to live on . Though he pretends to know so much of " horses , he is really very ignorant , and could scarce tell a racer from a cab hack if lie did not know before which was which . However , this is his passion , and be sure that if you dine anywhere near him you

    No. Ii.—The Young Military Man. In Treat...

    shall get all the benefit of his learned discourse on the next Derby or Leger . He modulates his voice always to such sweet tones that you would think he was giving the word of command to be of to the an sam army e party a mile as he long , be . careful Should to adapt you be your fortunate conversation enough to his capacity ; for if try to speak of anything of a refined or

    intellectual nature , he will you cut you short with some remark about a horse or a woman , who has been fortunate enough to merit his approbation . He is a great supporter of burlesque , and you will generally find that he is going to spend his evening with Black-eyed Susan ; for he loves much those pieces which do not insult him by appealing to his mind or

    his heart : there is no one who is so keen to appreciate the wit of a nigger dance as he is . is a He pool is very ; and much he is at given home to in round the billiard games - of room cards , especiall , where y luck when has there the better of skill . Whist he thinks slow , but he will play " Poker , " or that loses " Loo . he " B for is y these compelled vastly and high other to stakes practise means , and , will meannesses he g often ive you so in an impoverishes other I . O . U points . for himself what of ex he - ,

    penditure which are very much opposed to his nature . And this is the reason , perhaps , why you shall so seldom find anything in his room which indicates a taste for any art or literature , which no doubt he possesses , but which he cannot permit himself to indulge . it makes Of his up conversation in force ; and we have you alread may generall y spoken y gather : what out it lacks of his in depth mouth ,

    as pretty a "bouquet" of oaths in five minutes as you may wish to find , if you are curious in such matters . His moustaches are a great consolation to him ; for not only do they help to conceal his lack of expression , but you shall observe him sometimeswhen the idea that he is a fool seems faintldawning on his

    senses , , stroke his moustaches with great complacency y ; as if , in the possession of these external ornaments of the countenance , he fcmnd some consolation for the inner adornments of the head in which he is wanting . I mean not to say but that , among the young officers of our army , you

    shall find some exceptions to this pattern ; but the contrast with their companions is so marked , that you cannot fail to distinguish them . One may be forgiven wishing for war , if it were only that it affords the single chance of redeeming these youths from , their wretched state . Once in the excitement of battleand their good qualitieswhich now

    are overgrown with the sloth and , stupidity of the lives they , lead , spring up into being ; and one is astonished to find a worthless citizen transformed into a brave soldier .

    Shady Places.

    SHADY PLACES .

    It Has Long Been The Fashion To Cry Out ...

    It has long been the fashion to cry out for more light to strain and toil , and work , and to push forward towards the various luminaries which have from time to time , been set up for the vise of men , so as to get within the full focus of their rays with the avowed object of seeing better what is to be effected and how to effect it . All the old clothes

    which have hitherto served so well to clothe the machinery by which Society is kept in awe , have been in turn dragged towards the growing glare , and overhauled with more or less distressing results . ( Morality , long held to be a garment of spotless purity , has turned out to be a coat of many colours stained with stolen waters , and lined with many a

    secret pocket for concealing goods dishonestly obtained ); ( the flaunting banners of principle have been discovered to be nothing more than dirty dish-clouts , rotting away from the worm-eaten staff of honour to which they are attached ); Theology is seen to be patched and mended so that no man can tell either what it was originallyor what it has become ;

    and Philosophy like the mantle in the fable has , so shrunk and shrivelled at the mere reflection of the light , that it is not a decent covering for even the smallest of created beings . The ignominy of the thing is , that all these old dishes were professedly fashioned and continued by wise men who had themselves lived in the light , and who assured that they

    had so made them as to be more beautiful the nearer they were brought to it , and when the common herd saw the cheat that had been put upon them , they threw aside the old clothes they had hitherto been made to wear , and resolved that with free limbs and uncovered heads , they themselves would thenceforth work for themselves and see the

    work as it went on with their own eyes . Then they set themselves to drag philosophers , moralists , theologians , politicians , and all the wise men in general towards the glare that was opening upon the world , knowing but little what that glare was nrul whence it came , calling it sometimes Truth , sometimes Reason , sometimes Experience , but seeing

    at at any anv rate rate , , that that it it was was a a g dare lare , , and and that that it it showed showed the the true true outline outline and and colour of things . * ' Stand you in it " said they to the wise men " and let us see how you and your works look , no more private arrangements of us and our affairs , no more putting together in secret of machinery that ^ 0 ^ 4 . ^ v w is - • ' * to ¦ * ^^ be w ^^ ^^ worked » ^^ ^ ^ ^ ^^ ^^ b ^^ y f us ^ ^ , show yourselves y — — — and it , f and we — will -,-.. ^ jud _ _ ,. ge ^^^

    —whether we will have you and it or no . " The wiseacres declared that the world would stop going—struggled a little , screamed a great deal , bore a revolution or two , and at last leaving no other alternative , gave in with what grace they could muster . Since that time , men have , on

• Citation
  • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Sept. 21, 1867, page 210, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_21091867/page/8/