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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 18th December 1869, Edition 1 of 1, Page 281

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    • REFORM IIsT OLYMPUS.
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      December 18, 1869.] The Tom Aha Wk. 281

      December 18 , 1869 . ] THE TOM AHA WK . 281

      Reform Iist Olympus.

      REFORM IIsT OLYMPUS .

      Chapter V.—In Which Matters Come To A Cr...

      Chapter V . —In which matters come to a crisis , and There was terrible Jupiter consternation is recalled in the . committee-room when Mr . Publius Pryor announced the arrival of the unfor- , tunate victims of their own curiosity and Mr . Decimus Brutus Potts The ' ingenious waiting-room invention was full . and from it proceeded the most unearthl The The President President y noises and looked looked clamour al al the the , for bewildered bewildered instant relief Potts Potts . so so did did everv , every

      one else . , " " But Potts , p ,, lease you must your go Majesty in and — attend I mean to Mr this . President . " —is not this a case for your especial interference ? " suggested poor Potts , in a whining " No , Sir voice . . You insisted on carrying this invention of yours and aiiu into having effect , and aaiu said now this Lxita you the must President iic 3 iucu take the retired i consequences i yourself ; "

      uavuig me u xc ; . ij . c « - . . the There property was of no JEsculap help for ius it , , and so composing snatching up his a countenance large folio , once into an expression of self-satisfied knowledge , Potts entered the room . He was immediately pounced upon by a motley crew of grievances " Oh , Doctor . . My head I my head ! it ' s all crooked , and I can uaii 4 t ' t u Oh put put Doctor it 11 straight siiaigui ! . " stomachmislaid itand believe that

      , , my . I ' ve , I weak Pincher voice , my from old mastiff a half- , starved has run looking off with epicure it . " . This in a very a patent " Oh , Doctor lotion , , and my now heart it ! keep my s heart stopp 1 ing I ' ve every touched five it minutes up with , " an and impatien the wretched t lad victim shake shook his first himself watch violentl , when y , he as one finds may it has see stopped . The 1 number 1111 / of / l hypochondriacs / XlUllUli lUUO who had 4 taken bUCWAX themselves LAAVAXAUUi \> to fc

      X AU XULUX V . XX V UUV TV XX V AXC . UL . r a -V p discontent ieces , and ! finding nothing wrong anywhere , were full of angry pieces The , had number been of unable person to s fit who the , having puzzles taken of the themselves human frame to together their pocket again which , and they had could got not loose manage portions to get of their in anywhere bodies in ! relieved lUU - They ^ VUVi all at « -t once VXJtX were ^ V ^ . suffering frightful agonies , and all wanted to be

      pairing One irritable the coats old of his gentleman stomach had , and been had put very himself successful together in reno with plac the e exception for . " Look of his here pancreas , " he said , or , " sp you leen , Potts —that ! you he could ! " find talked " Sir , to " interrupted in that manner the . " great Decimus Brutus , " I won ' t he what " Oh I , darn but you please will . , What Sir . This the blazes is a free am heaven I to do , with and I this shall d— do d thing ? " showing the obstinate spleen— " I can ' t fit it in anywhere" ^

      W AlvA \ s * . that " Wel time l , of my life dear when Sir , you " said don Potts ' t require , " I think it any you longer have . arrived I should at send Those it to who the were South not Kensington too ill tried Museum to laug , if h at I were the rage you . " of this gentleman with the spleen—but the clamour commenced again very The soon great . Potts sat down at a table and entreated his patients and to justif try y and UtAU their remed lHiV title to that little name mistakes . " I will take have IICI you committed one by one " ,

      Cll * f \ ^ - f l + *• J , ^ « ^ Uj y ' any Cllljr 1 1 XXCIAW * H ' IXil ^ <• kaJVeo 1 you ^ UU 11 V * V ^ UllAXUIbkWU t * " 1 ^ * . plate So of say the ing , interior he opened anatomy his large of mankind folio , and he having set found to work a large and did his best . , However , some cases were too bad even for his omnipotent dividual skill ^ . "No who hop had e so for arranged you , " he his whispered internal machinery to an unfortunate that all in he - drank ( and that was a good deal ) went into his lungs instead of of A his **« J stomach ilbWUlHVU the lat ; f lamented and UltU whose »* AW «? W Albert breathing « - /! . V » C 4 U » iliJg was na 3 something ilUlllbtltlllg the like X 1 AV the HAW sound 19 UU 11 U

      celebrated e waterpipe . " You'd Smith better ' s stay friend up , here eng in heav ineer e ' s , to die , advice and then was you followed know you by ' this ll be man pretty , and safe . by " most of those to sim earth ilarly to situated make . their Some wills , however . Those , insisted who were on being sent letel back set to But rights a nucleus departed of by discontent the next , and Aerial even Train of revolution . comp , was estab y - lished ; for after a few days' experience everybody who had

      Chapter V.—In Which Matters Come To A Cr...

      anatomy undergone the late had which rehabilitation been had arrange served by d Decimus the in a great somewhat Brutus Potts ob for found solete a model that way ; was his as some p 2 , 000 years old , and , consequently , a little behind the time . blood In , fact and , one when or that two other plate trifling was drawn matters the of that circulation sort , had of not the been UVV ^ ll discovered UlOUUVU ^ Ut . I

      called Whether , first provoked " the obsoletes the storm , " as these is not rehabilitated exactly known persons ; but were that I i a storm was provoked is very certain . the In vegetation fact , the , new having regime been had accustomed not proved to the very ordinary successful seasons . All , I mer when , did time not passed know quite on , and how they to behave found . nothing So they but lived eternal as long sum as - ! seed they could and no , and buds then came they forth died from , but their they burnt brought -branches forward . So no food , became very CLX . scarce ; and those who had up corn would not sell itt at exorbitant V-AUl UAiailt pricesSo UV the Lll ^ le l took i ~ KJ \ JS \ it by

      forc OV leasant ^ U e , , and excep *_ .-A . V time ^ what \^ j ^ L did they the could Committee not ^ IIU take ' -O . , of they the burn Heaven peop JJUVj t , and ^»^ and a very Earth . XI un LJ J - . p Reform Association have of it . when Then they , Poverty had spent having all been the money abolished given , no them one would by the work Omni ; and potent so they Committee took to , living they wanted a life of more savage ; but and they predatory were refused warfare , and on mankind in general . miserable So , at last issue , the of \ jm wretched their uivii uvv peop policy le they lix rose , demanded vi and ^ iiiaizu , incensed ^ the instant at the

      deposition xuio ^ iauiv ^ ljouu of the Committee ^ own u jljv of -m aw the j ' , Heaven ^^ and Earth u . int . Reform iiiOLaiiL his was Association energy not enoug , " they ; and h also scandal at the demanded insti on gation earth the to of recall suit Mercury his of Jup taste , who iter , or . found to emp there loy back They at soug . a wat ht ering the exiled place god on the , and shores they found of the him Mediterranean lying on his throwing pebbles into the sea . , " Sire , " said Mercury , " they insist on recalling you .- ' " Wh TTT I A . thoug UllV 1 UgUV ht dear they ViA 1 ^ Jf M would WUUlVl said _ 1 , j "V " was KYCVO all MLJ wh . Jupiter J at _ VljJl . have f _ \ . V *» - answered 0 , 110 « V been 1 1 \^ U . | * all » ¦<

      this " time y , ? my I have , " been in Juno Paris , " , expecting you you to join doing me every day . " had " Hav to wait e you a ? " long replied time . her I rude have been spouse emp . " loy You ing would my leisure have moments in reflecting on the errors of my past life ; and as a proof of the sincerity of my reformation , I intend to divorce you as soon as I get back again to Olympus . " " What TV liAL ? " V cried > il * wU the bXXl * astonished adlUXllJXl ^ U Juno UlAV / . // T what T . T * _ ! henceforth ____ / " J 1- T have 1 done JI _ __ _ with _ * 1

      — " I " Then I intend mean I' to ll be establish I ¦ say " began — celibacy Juno in . heaven I . " your sex " You need not finish , my dear—don ' t come back—I can soon spare in you Ol ; " and , . jumping lightly on to Mercury ' s back , he was He was ympus met at the threshold of the palace by a dejectedlooking President being , Marcus with Antonius a carpet bag Smith , in . whom he recognized the late " Wellgood fellow vw have i 7 had a h short uaavi rei "

      " M V V y \ sX- liege i , y my xxx y , we / vu have xv ^ nv ; , the you ywu peop * u < % - le — « . va curs , e them * - a uigii gn I— * . are fickle knaves . " " Yes , my dear fellow , they are ; but that is not the cause of your "No failure ! what . " is then ?" excellent " When Smith I offered , to ask to me give for you Omniscience Omnipotence . Good , you day forgot !" , my THE END .

      For Musical Instance Belil There (E)S Ar...

      For Musical instance Belil there ( e ) s are . —There dumb are bells many but kinds we of think bells and belles few . dumb belks . , Lately , however , we , have , come across , very some belles who make very good use of dumb bells at Madame At Brenner this establishment 's Gymnasium we for find Ladies a number , at Bruton of street , ladies Bond street - . as tising strengthen played a variety them by their of in calisthenic physi fair que instructress , exe and rcises add , and , to to which the the young time beauty will of tend of music prac their to , lacing and figures we . , while feel Many certain it bells will , also that and teach golden all belles them rings , the are will utter int be ende absurdity rendered d for rin of much g ti ing ght , ne health arer the conduce grasp d by of exercise those belles . whose cheeks bloom with

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Dec. 18, 1869, page 281, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_18121869/page/9/