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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 18th May 1867, Edition 1 of 1, Page 16, 16 THE TOMAHAWK. [May i8, 1867.

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  • Departments (2)
    • THE GOVERNMENT CLERK COMMISSION.
    • THE DERBIAD.
  • Text (6)
  • Transcript

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      16 The Tomahawk. [May I8, 1867.

      16 THE TOMAHAWK . [ May i 8 , 1867 .

      The Government Clerk Commission.

      THE GOVERNMENT CLERK COMMISSION .

      The Tomahawks, In Compliance With A Stro...

      The Tomahawks , in compliance with a strongly-expressed requisition honest man ( si ) , gned have by chartered four peers a , detective seventy commoners to examine , and into the manners Service . and The customs Tomahawks of the members have much of Her pleasure Majesty in ' p lacing Civil before their readers the commencement of their report . Their own own special special ueiet detective uve last (\ udisguised . is > The gui 5 > cu followi . uas . s > aa . waiter waiicr ^) , j visited vwiicu of So oumci his merset notes sci

      written House on by Thursday stealth , as he . furnished the ng gentlemen are some with their luncheon going on , about and secured him : — by studious attention to the conversation French Gentleman novel in the Rosebud the same , —He is me reading going throug a little h the fat gracefull hygienic y process disposed , of his cutting legs on his the nails desk , . to He assist is Tom which Armitage , he has , the biggest swell in the office . He goes to all the Minister ' s moustache parties ( besides and whiskers several others often less leaves reputable the office ) , has in a neat fortune little in wherein , be observed neater little bonnetand

      is broug in the ham habit , of having may his horse broug a ht round at odd times , . He is reputed but his whiskers to be both cover faster a multitude and looser of sins than . mammas approve Twenty The , Gentleman Minutes to who Two worked . —In the from morning Half- he past was One engaged to Five in and the in most the harrowing Daily Tele details gtaph . of He the , great like the Hornsey editor murder of the paper , as reported , could looked not to his out own of th satisfa e window ction , , with see any the remark clue to , the that mystery " It ' , so sair he business ! " and attempted to find a solution among the tiles

      face opposite ^ .-r * . ^^ . e- \* - The n . , making moUinrr rest of the * - \ t « = his » most -m / - » day c * - awful oii / was fiii contortions / -r spent » ntrvri-ir » in c reading meanwhile m f = 'j » 'n wTiilp the with witTi second his T » i <; volume The " Head John " of Thorpe the ' Room s Marriage . —Mr . . Tapleton ( popularly known all as " his Pantiles life what " ) , a is spare called , middle a " - zealous aged man officer , who , " fro has m been the time Tapleton he was always in the said letter Jack -room wouldn with ' that be scamp long in Jack the Scraper depart- . ment absence , and —it was he the was day rig after ht , for the one Derb morning y—a letter , after came a day from ' s great J errant ack , mental i written -npntal p in critation itation an unstead . and and y date date hand d d , from from as if Cremorn Cremorne under the e . .. influe The The n letter letter ce of

      stated that J ack ag felt himself , personally aggrieved by the Honourpecting able the him Commissioners to attend " the ; more home especiall of his y childhood because of " fro theh m ten extill say four he had , —that hoped his better feelings things were from deeply the wounded Honourable , —that the he would Comthem missioners off for , — ever but that ( underscored he now felt , and it to ten be his note painful s of admiration duty to cast ) . J that ack , remained and wrote their " relative affectionat , " as more e—he appropriate had put " . son , " but erased the Pantile official ' heart pious , ho and rror in at fifteen this years letter , having stamped en him joyed a m man eantime after a class yearly , " with rise the of five salary pounds of a nabob ten , he . has He attained is not clever to the . From " second the official r » ffir > ia 1 routine rvMitir »*» his Vnc sober cr » 1- »*» r wishes wishes never tipvpr learnt lfnrnt to to stray strav . but but he lift is is

      , venture always d in to the hold office an opinion at ten of o ' clock his ow . n He , than would he no would more write have a creed and doxology for his own devotions . He doesn ' t dress collars well , is accused the former of wearing too short sixteen and the shilling latter trowsers too lo and . He paper had more never resemblance been , good-looking to Caliban , even , than when to yo A ung pollo , and . He bear has ng s a shuffling much mained sort of gait of th , and e speed a rise with and which fall in his he walk once whi walked ch is to all the that office rebea ev say ery . uty Each morning . His of dulness from his failing Isli prevents ngton s or , defects " the for dangerous his , howeve health , " r wanderings , is an u official sed ; by to n which ess binds genius him sometimes to the office distingu by prev ishes enting itself . m His want m succ of e smart eding - limit anywh of ere his else aspirations , and he , the is so , lot content that has to been accept carved , as out the for utmost him , tnat it askea ins iaea oi iuture statewouia

      " supera ne nnuation were on full pay . " a , ne repiy ,

      Stock New Gathers Motto No For Moss Rail...

      stock New gathers Motto no for moss Railway . Debenture Holders . —Rolling

      The Derbiad.

      THE DERBIAD .

      In Such Piccadill A Crowd Y Was Of Peopl...

      In Such Piccadill a crowd y was of people never before seen I ween , As And were shouting rushing ; and and some crushing , I am , and grieved pushing to say , and , swearing tearing , . A And nd ki kicking ckinp- up nn a a deuce rienre of of a a shine shine

      As the clock of" St . James' church struck nine . With There so were ne ' er blue seen veils together nor so so many cravats white hats Of In their so many ea many rthl fast vocation colours , , so of tumult many many small and noise boys . , , Costers , ostlers y , grooms ^ coachmen , and hawking blackguards , With But O fourt ! M een use - , bladed wert thou penknives even a , candidate and Dorling passed ' s 'kreck cards . " Thro' Queen ' s Civil Service Exam : ' twould have tasked The ( That good ' s not fruits iruiis quite of a the fair earth rhyme in their all thy various powers to pourtray

      In x ne huge guuu baskets and tne hampers eartn in untold ineir various packed array array away ,, And all marked on the end with heraldic emblazon With the soul-stirring motto of " Fortnum and Mason . * But We bowl now , each away N at imrod rapid in pace his place , With rattle clatter o ' er the stones , And And balance soon , like lost our , and acquaintance shock of bones Brown ; , With When it bills come breezes in , we round round ' " out of town . "

      And wn wondering country country oreezes , what the trees us us are p piaying laying saying ,, , ( Longfellow swears that they converse , Wh Far stretching shouldn ' t as they the , — eye it ' s can good reach for verse , . ) The Like motley babbling crowd wavelets , with various the beach will , The Now lfle last last ebbs most most , now trequent freauent flows , — . tor for and altnougn although now stands still ;

      A Some cam p ious from pundits a" gnat , , declare , should know That Epsom downs are Satan ' s snare ; And Is to that drive headlong go there , down truth to to tell , . Well I won ' t say where , yet this I say : , That It's not leads a broad there , but and narrow the restles way s crowd With VT XI . A & unprogressive Uil |/ in 1 Vgl immovable W > O * 71 ; \^ tumult WUlliUAV loud XVS L 4 V 1 . , }

      Wedged Chokes up the straight array and du , sty way In myriads whose numbered swell Nor No al B gebraic abbage power count . could tell But soft O Muse ! No spouting pray , or we shall lose Rant Our subject sense , , — spo if ut thou something needs mu relevant st rant . , Answer If thou a giant e man in th o y asks breast dost ee , " smother How in ' s your , mother . ± In ii hon iiuiic eyed ycu acce d ^ bciits nts gentl gcnnjr y chained \* ii < aiiigu . in p pill hrase aac , j

      And Smooth fair -flowing persuasion periods ; or , with sweetl log y ic ordered grim , praise , A In nd subtle hard- argument grained sentences his wit * entang demolish le , him ; A But nd see prove ! in to the him distance that she a movement " sold her beg mang ins , le /* And The flo luc o d is beg for inning to return to to run our ; on muttons its pins . There are y several , gentlemen dashing the , ir buttons And many things Whil worse e one , wicked at the dreadful slow pace , ; From the top of a drag wag , ,

      Makes In In pach each a hand hand speech a a bottl bottle on Reform e , , champagne chamoaerie , and the in in state his his face face of the ,. nation , Till He l ets last , a in bottle the ard which our and liht fir s e on the oration e , go , gey Of an omnibus Of driver e , — nd who sur utters rise a cry ragp , And lashih With is hor a mention in u of " blind eyes . " With a crash ng runs his pole thro ry * the hamper , behind .

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), May 18, 1867, page 16, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_18051867/page/2/