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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 18th January 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 30, A Bare Escape.—At the Athene"e, a new Pa...

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  • Departments (2)
    • A PROTEST.
    • THE COMTIST CALENDAR; OR, THE HOLY DAYS OF THE POSITIVISTS.
  • Text (6)
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      30 The Tomahawk. [January 18, 1868 .

      30 THE TOMAHAWK . [ January 18 , 1868 .

      A Protest.

      A PROTEST .

      To How When Easy It Is Have To Fall Once...

      to How when easy it is have to fall once into fallen a bad in habit ! There , and is how perhap long s it nothing clings which you we detest you more heartily than the loathsome eruption who which has for broken amusement out latel to y Pimlico in social Pavilions London among and Pentonville the classes Halls go of Apollo . Need we say we refer to the comic song , with its dreamy witless ence monotony to low-lived of flirts never- who vary refuse ing desi the gn temptation —always the of same curds refer -and - - whey , or brandy-balls , , for the superior attractions held out by a But purveyor we are of not asses going ' milk to , or enter a general into a dealer detailed in marine description stores of .

      than music •* - *¦» 11 c ?? y - * the hall Tioll fun fung fun b y i , who itt the 1- »* -v way have T- » * - » Tm ; much mn nor r * T * are more tv » r \ v we & of / " \ T going the "f * Tl £ * guy < T to 1 i \ r criticise about a nnilt" them i"rl the ^ TYl our music collaborateurs , which , would but be we encroaching have been on suffering the domains fearfull of y one since of Boxing-night from , popular song on the brain , and , do what we the will , 26 we th can of ' t December get rid of and it . in It attacked ite of our us best with efforts the fog on - , , sp , every thing Last seems night to we respond were dining to " Not out for in one Josep of h . the " best houses in BelgraviaWe were sitting between a dowager countess on

      . either one side entirely , to whom vulgar the or name improperl of Josep y scri h would ptural , have and a appeared general officer on the otherwhose ideas did not run on anything but the formation of battalions , and the inspection of kits ,. The conversation , of course , fell at one period on Fenianism . possession What Charley of most Skittles dowagers calls a and "blue old funk generals " seems on to this have topic taken . its This congenitors of course and wandered my neig into hbour Greek the countess fires , nitro begged -glycerine to know , and whether whether petroleum Detroleum , was was a a destructive destructive acid acid , or or no no . . You you will win

      scarcely believe it , but I found myself assuring the dear old lady that that dangerous liquid was * ' Not corrosive , No corro " and it was only by biting my tongue that I could stop the dreadful current which was gushing to my lips . " What explosive power gun cotton really has , " remarked the general , with his usual originality . There I went again— " What . explosive

      , What explo " liked The to general stop my turned rations on and me g with ive me a g three lare as day if s he pack would -drill , have and , actuall though quelled asked for the the Honble rest . of Mrs dinner . Bellow by his whose intelligent lendid gaze con , I - tralto makes y the glasses ring in the room , below sp , whether she thoug sang ht Claribel the title ' s last odd charming but promised song , to " Not ask for for Josep it , and h . " I hear She this it it extremel extreinelv morning y questionable Questionable , from her , most facetiousness facetiousness particular on on friend the the part Dart , that of of she nearl nearlv thinks y a a

      stranger to recommend such odious trash . But whether she refers to Joseph or the lady composer I have not yet been informed . The same friend of Mrs . Bellow ' s is a confirmed geologist , and and sherry never , commences or the phases any of the subject moon , be , without it the getting merits of astride seltzer of his hobby , and rattling off the names of the stony treasures which he may have added to his collection during the week" fossil infusoria , " " trap formation , " " mica subsidiary , " and all the rest of it . On this occasion he was very wild at having

      purchased i- » Mwl- « ric <» rl some er » mp fabricated fVhrimteH fossils fossils from from a a . navvy nnvw emp pmnlnvpd loyed on on the underground railway . He had bought a mass of old bones stuck together with cement , and his wrath was great at having been taken in . " My dear sir , I did not suppose it possible to forge ossiferous concrete . " " Not forge ossiferous concrete ! " I cried . But it was too much for my brain : off I went'' Not Not forge forge O ossif 1 " —

      disgusted This was , as too indeed much I for am my myself scientific , for I friend am humming too , and off the he detest went - , able "A thing cure continual , a cure , a ly perfect , and don cure ' t know . " This any is cure disgusting . Oh , for ! Which a cure - ! ever side 1 turn I hear the din of this torturing refrain . Is there no escape ? No remedy ? Alas , " Not for J oseph !"

      The Comtist Calendar; Or, The Holy Days Of The Positivists.

      THE COMTIST CALENDAR ; OR , THE HOLY DAYS OF THE POSITIVISTS .

      Festivities Nag M Iolo . Lafitte Gy W Of...

      festivities Nag M iolo . Lafitte gy w of hich P ( ositivism Director will be , du on devoted the Positivisme Positivist to marriage ) dwelt Calendar at , , paternity some and on length the , filiation monthly on the domesticity , labour , & c , Sec—^ Pall Mall Gazette , January 7 th . ,

      It is with no small pride and pleasure that we find ourselves important enabled , throug and h intellectual the kindness sect of , to some lay members before our of readers this most a fect sketch the of titles the of Calendar other festivals alluded being to , which still under is not ) discussion 'et quite per in - all of , which Humanity , or something appertaining theretowill , be glorified : — , J AN . 1 . — Festival Anthrnnnmnrnhrsm of Indigestion of . dorfclp' *; Antfhilfnnc Pillc " \

      { Gregoria ? i Chants . Dead March in Saul . )' 6 . —Festival of Infantile Precocity . Grand Procession of Pickles . Choral Service . Anthem , — " Spare the Rod . " 16 . —Exaltation of Gibbon . ( " Decline and Fall , " read aloud in all the Comtist Churches from 10 to 7 . ) 30 . —Festival of Auguste Comtek Wet-7 iurse .

      ( Music ad lib . ) Feb . 14 . —Festival of Spooning . Grand Ballet—with appropriate music . 25 . —Celebration of the Cutting of Auguste Comte's First Tooth . ( Elevation of Rogers , the Dentist . ) Anthem— " It is through . It is through . " March i . —Glorification of the March Hare .

      ( Grand Dance Dy . Lunatics in tne transept ot the principal Comtist Cathedrals , assisted by the Congregation . ) 7 . —Festival of " Asking Papa . " „ ( Popular music . ) 30 . —Celebratio ? i of Augnste Comte being put into sJiort „ clot lies .

      April , i . —Anniversary of the birth of Positivism . Full Choral Service ( by the Vicar of Bray ) . „ 20 . —Festiva Anthem l — of Who the Trousseau 's to pay ? . 30 . —Celebratio 7 i of Auguste Comte's first utterance of " Papa . '' May 1 . —Festival Dance uance by Dy of an all Marriage tne the company company . . . ({ jAll \ n avanaoie available brass Drass

      bands engaged . ) 20 . —Celebration of Auguste Comle ' s recovery from the „ measles . Anthem— " Out , damned spot . " J UNE 1 . —Festival of Mothers-in-Latv . Anthem—Why do ye rage ? 20 . —Anniversary of Auguste Comte ' s first fig ht . „ Chorus—Box , Brothers , Box . The programme for the latter half of the year is not yet

      finished ; but from the above specimen we think that the Positivists may fairly boast that their religious services will possess than more those intrinsic of any human of the interest foolish , and forms greater of reli external gion now attractions existing . ,

      A Bare Escape.—At The Athene"E, A New Pa...

      A Bare Escape . —At the Athene " e , a new Parisian Theatre the unnecessary fall of one alarm of the was actresses created in a few the revue representations close to the ago foot by - , lights . The house rose under the impression that she might rise in a blaze , but was speedily reassured by the actress herhap self , p who ily nothing had sustained on which no could injury possibly owing to catch the / fact ire / that she had

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Jan. 18, 1868, page 30, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_18011868/page/10/