Current:

Tomahawk (1867-1870), 14th March 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 105, FULL OF THORJVS.

Page 105
Page 3
3 of 10

On this page

  • Departments (2)
    • " POOR HUMBUGS ! " (BY "ONE GONE TO THE ...
    • FULL OF THORJVS.
  • Text (5)
  • Transcript

    • Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.

      Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.

      March 14, 1868,] The Tomahawk. 105

      March 14 , 1868 , ] THE TOMAHAWK . 105

      " Poor Humbugs ! " (By "One Gone To The ...

      " POOR HUMBUGS ! " ( BY " ONE GONE TO THE BAD . " )

      My Father " On The Turf." Lent I Fool Sa...

      MY FATHER " ON THE TURF . " lent I fool say my ! father was not an arrant knave , but only a frauduwrite " Gone such to a shameful the bad , " infamous —indeed , , scandalous gone to the line bad ! I , can when hear I UtlllVll demon you cry ! , Away 4 " out C ± Jf upon with II 11 U the the tUV / wretch UJ cur . VU — this to kV / C a man * . UUO deserted a I . cynic V . U spot O ^ VJC , say in XXX , the U rather 1 V Zoo UfWVS a !

      most Find him virtuous a dark of corner le in but the for Reptile all this House should ! " By not all mean lift s , your voices until you peop have , some , information , you to work upon . Now up you know nothing of one thing and next to nothing of another . me You . know For all nothing _ y

      I I am own at Ve war " with gone society , and , " that I own society ( were my I but known __ in , my true colours ) , would be at war with me . Oh , do let me cast the off" the stool cloak , my of head humbug is so for weary a moment of bowing , my . knees Let me are be so tired natural of in my writing , if I must humbug it out before the world . If you I do are not shocked pretend to now be and a saint then — with I am my avowedl sentiments y bad and , rememb worldl er y . , A fell 1 ^ . 11 wreck into XXXL \ J , decay % - a \* ruin \ sdjr it XL . matters XXXMtbWX How the not JLAVTC shi . p The J . went XJLW history J . XXJ to *\ p SJF ieces of \ JX my ±± — ± Jf how voyage V \ J J C the 4 'O to castle the tXlU

      find bad , it is revealed not written in a in portrait a book , . if In you a want photograp to learn h measuring it , you will two inches by a nail and a half , you can see the picture of a life ' s misery in breadth ! Curious ! Wonderful isn ' t it— discovery two inches —photograp long by a hy nail ! and a half You will be surprised to hear where this is written . To tell the big truth house , IVe yonder come . here I ' ve to been escape vegetating the humbug lately I ' at ve somebody left at the ' s come country to p this lace , pretty and am spot weary , partly of because wearing I the knew mask some . one So who I ' ve used UO ^ u to l-vs stay otaj' here xx ^ i w ; y partl yjc ^ x . \ , * . y because uvvum ^ v the bxxi ^ p j ^ lace / xau ^ j is .. j xivu free ii from wui , hum iiuiu-

      bug Opera ; and , Parish is on on a the Carnival whole , rather Ball ni more ght . lively than the Grand I ' m sitting in a country church-yard ! tinged It ' s a with very gold quiet ) over evening there , , and half those humbug fine long one int clouds o the ( purp belief le that there is still something good left to us in this wretched world . The sun has SAink calmly to rest , and those soft , solemn without clouds , seem despair to act —that as mourners are sad without o ' er him dismay —mourners . Nature that is grieve very against still , and the the d little ing steep brig i le htness of 4 ViJtJ the of V 4 rustic the bllV sk churc VJf as h it J . W stands point £## llLbW s out upwards darkly

      towards UllCllUOk tlXVr a faint VA yJ' - hearted ¦& ^< . « . VX star , , which , is *« just y C ** J beginning V ... ^ to * XT peep * - * -W from and soft out the as songs bosom that of the are heavens sad . For . Yes all , this the , evening I ' m writing is sweet of a , humbug < will thrust ! I me ' m naturall back into y fond of poetry so ; but with you see words the worl com d - prose ; away mencing with the letter " s , " and let me get to earth again . This story shall be but the merest sketch , for one must speak

      times softly it of is one not ' s onl father y the ' s soul memory of wit . , Forg but the ive my life brevity of respect ;—some ! - after My my poor sisters parent and had brothers a hard , life and of myself it . You . As see the , he youngest had to look of the was famil found y , to I send got the James worst up of to it Oxford . Somehow ( one of or our other peop , le money promised these feats him a had " living been " ) , performed and Charles , our into resources the Army became ; but after exhausted . Many are the times I ' ve absolutely returned to school with VV X ^ Xl fear 1 WC « I , and CfclXU trembling LX Va * 4 * * wXllXC * , because U \* vU U I ¦•» knew XVltv * ~ full X LtXA well W vll > that WliM W the VilV

      letter I . carried with me to the head-master contained an excuse gazing in lieu with of a the cheque utmost . At eagerness the early age at the of eleven face of I my remember worthy bull flowery pedagogue me exp and , lanation to insult see . if me he The on would man never be conceivable contented was satisfied occasion with ; my he and father used so to ' I s y every , quickl forgotten y learnt that lesson the truism \ , " it is wicked to be poor . " I ' ve never days " C , lem "just , " sai leave d my those father confounded , one day , fi in gure the s a middle lone , an d answer the holi a question . "

      presented The " confounded his profit and figures loss " account ( which at I had whist been , at adding the Arlington up )^ re- . exclaimed I left the with " confounded the filial politeness figures " alone of the , put modern down time my pen , " Well , and , guv " ' nor Wh , y what , my ' boy s up , ? I " think I may take you a run into the country . " What to going do you to say Newmarket , " he asked ? , I as think he lig of hted trying his ci the gar Emperor with a writ to- , morrow at daybreak . I have entered him for the Oxfordshire . " I jumped / with VVXiXX leasure \ CLi \ 3 JK + and 14 danced about CX . l ~ f KA . the tXXU And

      •*¦ J UXIX ^ V ^ U , up U X ^ p LJX * . M . CH . V . \* CX * XX \ V * ^ VJ . KJ V . lUUlll room t . XT ^ IXVJ . that father 's , how and broug I first ht saw me the to be Emperor ( I trust ) , the an interesting horse that orp ruined han ! my I am not going to tell you anything about the trial , because of I ' m the not details a " horsey . Enough " man to , and say I my mig father ht mak considered e a mistake the in some animal " fit . " up uj- > Every in " » the uiv morning market miuivvi , steadil 9 I i . v ~ got cfcu . ixjr hold y , , till lxxx of it xb stopped i the ^ \ . \ J Yftr paper at , first xixoi and favourite lavuui the horse llCi . went xixy My

      father used to be visited by a certain " commissioner " known This as Lambert fellow of conversation and on my the father turf I heard , and used as to work Levi between in in pairs the them home . I From learnt circle the to . my scraps surprise , that they were laying pass against the favourite , heavil , y . So On I guessed the day that of the they race intended I went making down to the the Emperor course " with safe . my " ing father the llj , \^ and heard / ui him round say in xxx this the ljiw to paddock his jockey " Look as they here were lad walk if

      he 1 j . j . j . ^ pulls . _ _ - . Emperor j at all | JV Ill , hold 1 xuu "I him * -xxu " . hard 1 . . . kjc I * . don *~ 1 L \ j . \ j ' ^ t . r % want , . j JU * v / him 1 v * px \ . ± x to \ -, x \^ be - » , y my ixxy pumped xclka , XL t the out ; don , ' t and let haven him get ' t a a farthing place . Mind on the , I race want he him 's going well to in run for walked to-day . " The . jockey gave a sly smile , touched his hat , and My father away went back into the ring and found that Lambert ( or The J . Levi 11 \* event ^ , which ^ lV came V * ClJLJ you . JLVs off Ulii will . ) The was 1 11 V < lay Emperor . * * ' ' ing » l ^ V 1 wildl i . J 1 took UWi y against \ . the bXlV bit UXb the between U ^ WVV Emperor V /^ , 11 his XJ . 1 O .

      teeth , bolted , and won the race in a canter ! fro " m Mind the dog the -cart horse , and , my giving boy , me " said the my whip father . , getting down He walked towards the wood I see over yonder—the wood just behind the bush a little to the left . He took three or four paces " Clem , hesitated , old felfcftw , and , g returned ive me . a kiss . " I looked surprised , but held my face to his lips . He kissed me , said " God help you , my port dear , , " and and the hurried pistol into he carried the wood with . Two him had minutes made more me an a orp loud han re- ! The stone facing XXX ^ is dedicated \ -l l 4 J t to \\ his 41 XillllV / Is it

      timental J . J . J . V * OIUXIU to leave ICIVXXX the ^ me rose 1 O I wear .. \^ CLL , in ^' , my . J X button Q memory ^ -hole X V ( . on this 3 It sen OUIA tuft - " of "humbug earth I " Sentimental it out again . or M not y next , the stud rose y shall is left be , and my brother now to " in the Church . " I shall enter into the coining sketch with great zest , as my brother helped to ruin me !

      Full Of Thorjvs.

      FULL OF THORJVS .

      Urges An Irrepressibl The Following Y Im...

      urges An irrepressibl the following y impertinent inquiry throug and inquisitive h the columns individual of some dail of y our contemporaries : — ARE YOU IN DIFFICULTIES ? For our own part so frequently has this strange question been resolved thrust before to mak our e a clean eyes , in breast large of type it , , and that to we confide have our at last unhappy position to our inquisitorial friend—of course in confidenceWe we regret J . to / in in difficulties niuuivivut There ilv —w

      4 liLiwxiuu * . tt M v (( are p * , vr jm ^ wgxw (« cv _ say fcj c **^ y , j vu V . j . « « x \* vv v e ^ h and ave wh made y . the We confession suffer from , and a chronic we now proceed difficulty to in exp breathing lain how freel attentions y , in of consequence our tailor . , we We fear suffer , of —at the least close so and we arc persistent told by our confess boot it maker —from —from a confirmed a difficulty deafness of hearing of very —in long fact standing , let us . babl We suffe y from r from our bein another g unable difficulty pecuniaril , viz . y shortness to see our of way sight clearl , pro y - . We suffefrom such trifling difficulties t J being l /\ unable IHItLUlV ^ at Cll Ull all

      VV W Oil * I Wl r 11 KJ 111 JUl / U 1 . 1 111 III fr UlillL / MJVX ^ a as * - . -- * U £ ^ times to persuade the fellow who calls with his "little account " believe that we that are we not have " at large home expectations , " or to induce . In Miss a word Fitznibble we are to in " serious difficulties . " Will our advertising friend—now that he has gained our confidence—just show us the way out of them ? We shall be really obliged .

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), March 14, 1868, page 105, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_14031868/page/3/