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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 13th June 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 239

Page 239
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  • Departments (2)
    • ON THE BOOKS.
    • ANOTHER ABYSSINIAN DIFFICULTY.
  • Text (6)
  • Transcript

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      June 13, 1868.3 The Tomahawk. 339

      June 13 , 1868 . 3 THE TOMAHAWK . 339

      On The Books.

      ON THE BOOKS .

      Well Not Written So Long And Since Inter...

      well Not written so long and since interesting a contemporary articles are , in by whose no means pages few undeniabl and far y between cessful Books , devoted . " a The column bent and of the a half article to the in subject question of may " Suc be - gathered from its opening lines , here subjoined : — books " Ingenuou : first , that s peop no le book usuall succeeds y believe without a brace possessing of propositions a good , deal about of m ( any eri order t of some fails sort in the or other long ; run and to second command , that success no book . of Each real of merit these in

      notions in the sense in which they are usually accepted , is about as untrue ai the other . " acquaintance That the above with is the absolutel ins and y true outs , no of modern who has literature the slightest will to ter attempt cess the , and achieved crowd to not gainsay of of before a asp stamp . iring their The th young erefore truth authors however likel and y to , who is be of of are dail a negative much at y witness a loss assistance charac to suc dis - - - cover the secret by which very it is eyes so , continuall yet y and rapidly attainedIn a purel fn i hilanthrop uii ic iu spirit then i we are cub happy to

      come rules iaiiivu , to which . their xu we a , aid ^ assure . , ^ , by ± y y p jjiiiiau directing them will their prove ^^ £ S attention 4 infallible j . xi . uv , n nv to in the the following j irrespec . j . a . LJj ^ sjr ivs - and tive spheres if religiousl . They y adhered have been to must comp lead iled to with " success considerable . " care , HOW TO BECOME A RISING YOUNG POET . Study Pindar , lounge about Holywell street , then fire away . How to Write a Successful Sensation Novel .

      and Produce highly it interesting in a serial firs , and t number take care . After to have this , a pad well- in writ with ten wretched improbabilities diction , , monstrosities and let it be , carefully rubbish illustrated , bad construction with comic , known cuts . Call men— it— say what Messrs you . like Charles , but say Reade it is and written Dion by Boucicault two well- . how to become Correspond a successful ent . foreign Lunch off iced pumpkins , and never take tea without a

      coup couole le of of Marquises Marauises , . who who talk talk state state secrets secrets .. HOW TO BECOME A SECOND SHAKESPEARE . better Take give your it up tragedies . Bury — your no— work on , second and leave thoug it to the , judgment you had of a couple of centuries . HOW TO BECOME A GREAT MORALIST .

      Dip your pen freely into decent ink , and then spin out snobbish whenever , semi-relig one ious , ives but , above a chance all , hi . If y this respectable will not twaddle down , sign it A . any K . H . B . gyou go , HOW TO BECOME A GREAT PHILOSOPHER . Take , Of of Solomon Self . ' s . wisdom . . . . . . . One One . grain ton . . .

      and Dilute serve the out mixture in pap with spoons 5 , 000 . gallons Call this of tepid mixture toast " Idioms and water for , Idiots , or , Tupper ' s Proverbial Philosophy . " How to Write a Good , New , and Original Comedy . Translate it . How to Produce a Comedy Really . New and Original

      Take a theatre—and do it ( and yourself at the same time !) . 1 How to Write a Successful Times Leader . eith L er et th party e tail . contradict the head , and the middle refuse to join HOW TO BECOME A GREAT AND SUCCESSFUL PROPHET .

      Seize hold of the Book of Revelations ( never mind what you tions do with . If this ) ; fri does ghten not old do women , be hi ; and y r go espectabl through e , seven and hang ediabout the back stairs of third-class noblemen . HOW TO BECOME A SUCCESSFUL LITERARY MAN . If your name is either Thomas , Henry , or Obadiah Brown , « W <^ JW . n . " *' .. tf J ' * ' . * . ' * . ' *—K . *> trw **••*••*** ntwyg- ¦ t ^ c . - ^ -tf ^ r ¦ ., 1 . , 111 ¦»¦ . >¦*> ' - !—MH » rr in 11 wmm nmr 11 «¦ m ir >¦ 0 " n u -mj _ . ji . li i > . r u . mwuti ^ . i 1 " iwjhl' | . h

      peculiar be or sure long hair in appearance call , or yourself something ; wear either out a Tom of big the moustache , Harry way . , or Happy , Ob or a Brown bi are g you beard . Be if , liar Nature , in short has , g so iven that you some a big one nose may or say long to legs somebod —anything y , " You pecu see - that sure , fellow too , that with you the wash peculiar . That nose is ; agai that n is the Ob fashion Brown among . " Be modern paper as literati your . " Talk club , " of and the p allude lace you to your get your friends chop as and , " Fred penny " This superior iui and class \/ " Joe * 3 hack " That now iiv , taking and xjvx then care iiiwii to Cultivate throw uxkivctiv in the brass name and of the a

      ou ^/ wi Aaoajl « . V"Xv r * « . * . v ^ uiao ^ j , <* . j . xu > kiiv , begg tag-rag ing and for a bob job - . tail Let of your the publisher food be simp ' s trade le . , and Feed do on not humble mind cess pie . , This which cours , when e will you possibl have y mounted lead you up comfortably the ladder into of suc the - temp face le of of the competency various friends , if not to whom of fame , you have can hitherto kick into had the to you in cringe brass . . As to your brains—never mind them—take them out

      Another Abyssinian Difficulty.

      ANOTHER ABYSSINIAN DIFFICULTY .

      Curring Englishmen Responsibility Are Us...

      curring Englishmen responsibility are usuall , and y have backward thereby almost earned to themselve a fault in s in a - reputation in Europe . abroa - It is d therefore as the most the unsympathetic more surprising and that selfish the Govern nation - ment youthful should son of have the taken late upon unfortunate itself the Theodore office of . guardian Whatever to the the prospects be in his own of the country heir apparent , short of to being the murdere throne of d , Abyssinia they cannot may be hande very much d over inferior to the to tender what paternal is in ilO store 1 care for of His the Highness lish if nation he be

      XXCL with compassion It may XXU , accord VrVJ . be > -r * - all * that for *»* " very * LUU his the natural VV friendless child « 4 . AU ^ i . should , just . i . \^ J . and . at be present - fo 'M sent -X rl orn V / to JL IIXV condition when Bombay s Eng JsJllgllUll we to , are to , be llCtUlV full agree edu ^ of lt * - . cated and reared in the family of a Church of England clergyposed man it will ; of but become . when a the very son awkward of an Emperor question arrives how he at man is to ' s be estate dis- , Theodore It is very and doubtfu the Abyssinian l if a dozen captives years hence is onl , when y remembered the story of

      shall the the p -neriod eriod probabl of of y an an then additional additional declare the 2 id d . on on circumstances the the income income of tax tax the . , which whirh case did we we to not Theodore justify , — ' it heir is doubtful ' such an allowance if we shall as be will at all enable disposed him to to live grant as make " becomes a provision a king for ; " his , still children further and , that their we children shall be for willing an in to - definite different period : we took . The a country case from of Duleep the Maharaj Singh ah , which altogether formed a valuable and important addition to the Indian Empire . We have All AJ . C 4 . V W J received . VUVIVVU have no UU such « to 9 UUl do & MU advant with VUUiag Theodore age V 11 from V / U 1 the WXl ^ Abyssinian X * U ^ JJ 1 J . IXC * XI . campaign *^ C 4 . XXJ . |~ 'CIX £ ^ X 1 .

      it as w fast e now as we can , never , we hope , to ' s return country ; and is to all hurry we out carry of late with monarch us , which is may his be crown considered and as mantle any part and of the few estate thousand of the having shields . been The , offered crown and to , and mantle accepted have already b , y Her been Majesty disposed . The of , realis shields e , anything when converted beyond into the price money of , old cannot iron , even expected if that , so to there a a grant errant can to to be the the no Royal Roval justification Famil Familv y in of time Ab Abvssinia yssinia to come . on on for the making p rjlea lea

      , that country we . have The Government ever had our mean money to be ' s worth kind , no out doubt of , their but it may be well to consider that when the period arrives for likel question and " doing y /^ that / gen something if the erous we Eng should at " lish for the people the not same young be will time doing miss . Ab It yssinian a a therefore chance greater Prince of , kindness becomes being , it is just not to possess Theodore in ' s son his to own leav country e him to , rather the care than of wh educate at friends him he may be ignored , degraded , half-starved perhaps , in ours .

      Murdered How To Revenge Mother Yourself ...

      Murdered How to Revenge Mother Yourself Robbed upon a Man Children who has of their last your farthing , poisoned , your your brotherdes-Foul TROYED ried Play your your at Widow the Country Holborn !—Make , ! burnt him attend your a House representation and , Mar of -

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), June 13, 1868, page 239, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_13061868/page/5/