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12 THE TOMAHAWK. [January ii, 186S .
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A "CAPITAL" JOKE.
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there will suspect Is prove any is the t...
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A CHINESE PRIZE POEM.
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The University of Nanking has lately hel...
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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Transcript
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
Annesley Bay, Dec. 23*7/, 1867. Wonder A...
take that semi-warlike view of my position , which finds favour understanding with so many of was my that confreres I was . to "When put up I started at the , you best know hotel our at told every me place that we this arrived too was at his " on idea the of mar the ch expedition . " Slopper . has since
X 5 U . L XUJVV lletS 11 CHI LU 111 CU UUl I J . 1 U 1 C aill J . lt ; u . VJ 11 LUC * "g end ot " native rations , " hanging about to pick up such scraps of The nevvs fact as isthe I can position , and is getting anomalous generally . It in is everybod true I am y' got s way up . in . rather soldier , -like fashion , with an opera-glass slung to my back as " somebod , and a towel y " with round the my natives head . , and But no for doubt all that pass , I did muster not come out here to be shot at , and you quiet people at home no doubt never thought I did . But a Special Correspondent ' s work in this expedition is no joke . Three hundred miles of march amidst communication doubtful with friends the , with shore a chance , as a climax of being ! cut All off honour from all to
those who can face it—I can ' t . Indeed , I have serious thoughts of coming word back I think altogether he is . riht Slopper . He is s quite decided trulthat , and he upon can write my the " History of Abyssinia g " much say , very better in y , Bedford does Square not , and find that it as hal to f so the interesting " Insect Worl a d subjeqt of Upper out E here gypt , as " he it fore appeared , to let to it him stand at the over British . You Museum must not . mind He is my going say , there ing it - , more but , looking gloomy at in things my life purely ! Never as a ! man of business , I never felt ******* * Just finished dinner . Was interrupted above by several
young fellows ot the 33 rd , wno asked me to mess with them . Drank the Queen ' s health in champagne , Sir , three times three . What do you think of that ? Not so bad for old Annesley Bay , is it ? This Abyssinian business isn't half bad fun after all . By-the-way , cut out a lot of the first part of this letter . I have forgotten exactly what it ' s all about , but it is rather in the desponding line , I fancy . Of course I shall " go up " with the troops . I think I told you that that atrocious Slopper talked the of turning name of back Englishman . These are abroad the kind , and of get fellows us so little who respected disgrace in the Red Sea ! As to the pen being mightier than the sword —nonsense , that ' s what that is . As Bracer says , it is by the
sword alone we shall cut coir way to Debra 1 habor ( 1 think that is the place ?) and it is from Debra Thabor ( if that is the place ) that you shall hear , whether he be dead or alive , from Your Own Special Correspondent . P . S . —I open this because it has just occurred to me that what you most require of me is a chronicle of the variotis abuses to which this Expedition must give rise . All I can say is , read the last letter of my friend the Special Correspondent to the hundred Standard ; . vultures What do moving you say over to the the poor , £ 50 droop mules ing dying creatures by the ; camels with their bones coming iv \ through ; water costing twofVft-n / " »^ \\ . + dii \\ -frV ^ civ * nxr f ^ o * T * "i I I An ± / " \ i * * o in v \ /~* T ^^ a ^ 4 * + ¦ v / "k / % * " \ c ? o i *** t imm «•
MClA ^ v ,, j . j . frj \~ i * iM . jr f ^* ** & m , iiwj . x \ -rx 111 u . 11 * u ^ . iivi L / L . * aob ^ 9 ti wpa amvujg without beds to lie down upon , canvass to cover them , or food to feed them ? What do you say , British taxpayer!—( I feel in better spirits , you see ; that 33 champagne was first-rate )—will British cost taxpayer ^ 20 , 000 , , 000 to this ? What mull , that do you is say to to cost stores , £ 5 , to be , 000 landed , and and no means of landing them ? What do you say to departments all fighting with each other , to an undertaking with no understanding another regular , to British an army Expedition with no ? organisation , in fact , to Talk of the Crimea , and the Afghan affair ?—( by-the-way , we are on the eve of another ) . Why they were mere jokes to tiiie Al- ^ VQeininn fct' hnsinps # *! ' T ^¦ r » vnn 1-nnw tr \ r % wVi v wo s » v «» r \» nf
b ** l W * + ¦* 1 ^* w *»*»»** * r - * •«»»* ^* •»« w * * — *~ r j ^* >* * ^ « *• \ ^ * * 4 *¦ \ J VS * » A * T If W * - *• •» V * S V 4 b here at all , with a prospect of failure , to say nothing of over-• 1 whelming ( that idea tickles outlay , me before ) , why us , ? instead Do you of spending know , British a few thousands taxpayer 1 music in pro p - e boxes r dip , lomacy cocked — -h that ats , and is to rum say , , you in ma are rbles going , fireworks to spend , t a through ^ 20 , , 000 the comp in an letion Expedition of the I Suez Jealousy Canal . of That French is what influence the L / Ab Egyptians yssinian are " difficulty coming with " means 12 , 000 . Do men you ( whether know also we like , wh y it the or I mot There ) , to -- help you us have all the the whole way ? thing To look in after a nut French -shell . interests Rather . 1 heavy , I dare suy all this , but I picked it up at the mess
Annesley Bay, Dec. 23*7/, 1867. Wonder A...
( before we drank the Queen ' s health)—so depend upon it , it ' s a fact . ******** by I crossed open this cheque once . more The to chiefs beg you are willing not to send to cash me a my play sal -bill ary ,
If Times supp can lement send , or me a Tomahawk the next remittance cartoon , but in not peppermint a cheque . lozenges you or hair , -pins , as I am told they are as good as an English sovereign in the Upper Kerjoof-Gebhor . Oh ! it ' s a splendid country ! More in my next .
12 The Tomahawk. [January Ii, 186s .
12 THE TOMAHAWK . [ January ii , 186 S .
A "Capital" Joke.
A "CAPITAL" JOKE .
There Will Suspect Is Prove Any Is The T...
there will suspect Is prove any is the that bod a , y as g surprised leasant igantic a sanitary fact failure to measure hear 7 We that us , the in suppose there the Thames face is not every lainl Embankment . reason However to h . , The unp it seemsis not staring inclined to do what p science y enoug had arranged sewage for , it . The , outfall is a great deal too near the metrowas polis contemplated ; too near , in they short would , to enable when the the present tides to plan affect was it as as yet it on paper . The very Embankment itself is terribly after its does not exist £
much time , and therefore , beyond for isiacktriars the great , Metropolitan Drainage even m mua Scheme . > o and its , hand maiden , ! The whole thing promises to be a failure . In a smaller matter swindle would be the correct term . But large holder things in London never descend is paying to an little exorbitant names ; and rate if for every these house im- - that provements posterity he is . buy It , let is ing him perhaps experience comfort difficult himself , or to something , hit at least on any , with equall satisfactory the y usefu reflection l , way for of punishing the fools—for it is to be presumed that British thick-headedness is somewhere at the bottom of the matterwho have wasted the public money and patience in a bungling iLseniiu 3 it
may enterpri be worth . une something idea , nowever , here it uoes is : let suggest it then be given a . , a . out forthwith that a London statue will be immediately erected to the memory of everyone distinguishing himself by any notorious bit of insanity in connection with this metropolitan work . Let this be made well known , and we shall hear of no more " mistakes " in the Main Drainage Scheme . If Jenner could only have would had a sli kave ght , done even with so sli him ght one , a susp day icion at Charing of what cross public inoculation gratitude would have slumbered , and the question of compulsory , vaccination never have arisen to trouble the mind of man . t
A Chinese Prize Poem.
A CHINESE PRIZE POEM .
The University Of Nanking Has Lately Hel...
The University of Nanking has lately held the examination usuall for the y severe Ku Jin ; , seventy or M . A -five . Degree candidates . The died examination by the was hand un of - fortunatel death , or y their , enabled own , to during give the the process "English of Poem torture " . which We won are , the Ku-shu-shin Prize for this year . It shows what great advance has been made in the knowledge of the English language in this most exclusive of countries : —
BELPHEGOR ; OR , THE HERO OF MANCHURIA . ' An Original English JPocm BY
KO-FOW-LI-CHOW-CHOP , To which was awarded the Ku-shu-shin Prize for 1857 . ( With Notes by Professor Twang-Chin-Hum . )
orig history Jvo in al — of nucleus i Manchooria nis roem of the , Chinese which iounded , as Emp on everybod an ire . incident Ginshallur y knows in , the was III early . the ascended the throne of Manchooria B . C . 6027 . Three years after his accession , the Khurds , led by Gadzeuxes , invaded his
territory , and laid it completely waste , murdering his wife Zedzina ( the pink-eyed gazelle ) ; he himself succeeded in ritory escaping of Cashmere with his infant which son had Bel just phegor been , to annexed the nei by ghb Ginshallur ouring ter- . tion Here being the king constantl and , y his hunted child b lived y the a vindictive life of misery Gadzeuxes and priva from - ,
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Citation
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Tomahawk (1867-1870), Jan. 11, 1868, page 12, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_11011868/page/2/
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