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Northern Star (1837-1852), 28th December 1844, Edition 4 of 4, Page 3, Untitled Article

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      A CHRISTMAS GABLAND . TTREATBH . ^ osg exis ting lyrical poets few have achieved a greater popularity than £ iats . Coos . This arises from the feet , that ^ lthon ^ hlier poetry is certainly not of the highest order , it is nevertheless true to nature . If she £ ssav 3 not those loftr flights which only the icn < & 3 ij few may hope to aspire to , she is not the 3 ess in her orbit a trne poet . Lq simplicity she descends to the comprehension of the humblest " ; -while allied ¦ with that simplicity she exhibits a force of thought -which becomes to the many a voice uttering for them the truths they feel but are unable to articulate- Of this-we nave a striking example in the beautiful lines on Christmas -which will be found ¦

      "below , and for which we are indebted to our contemporary the Wet&y I > ifpatch . Curious enough the ^ writer is just now located , and has been since his arrival in London { he speaks personallv ) Iii theiome of Jluzx Cook ' s birth , and childhood ! Genius , which enobles all things with which it is associated , mav yet hallow the spot where the vouthful mind ^ ftBisplessinsrpoeiess first awoke tothelight andlife of the Muse ' s inspiration . Indeed the wnter knows those within the circle of his acquaintance who wdbIi ! traverse field and flood , simply to see the spot where lie las for the present " pitched his tent . He can onlysay , that should they favour Mm with their company , although holding no appoint ment from the lady , nor authorised to represent her , he will yet do his best to welcome her devotees and adniirers .

      CHXiSTStAS SOSG OP THX yOOJ . -VfW " A merry Christmas , GentUmen ,- " Tis thus the ancient dittj runs : But minstrels chime no hailing Thyme , Pot Pot air ' s low , haggard sons . A merry Christmas to ye all , TTbo sit "beneath the green-nvin ' u * roof , To mark now fast the snow flakes fell , Or listen to the ringing hoof . A pleasant tune the north wind hums , When that ' s withont , and ye -within ; Bat Eke a serpent ' s fang it comes Fpon the poor man ' s naked skin . A merry Christmas to je aD , "Who fold Trarm Tobes oe ' r limb and 'breast ,

      " 5 Vho sleep enclosed hy curtain'd wall , "With bLtakets on tout couch of T"est-Bnr I—the poor man—what shall be The merry Carisrmas -ride tome ! I ' ve seen men hew the Jog trunk through , Tve seen them hear the holly br , To pile npon the sparkling hearth , And grace the staH'd ox smoking high . The oak-root is a mighty thing ; And beauteous the berry red ; But hollow is the joy they bring T o eyes that dimly look for bread . The poor raan ' s fire !—pshaw ; how should he Feel such a strange , luxurious want J The poor man ' s meal—0 . let it be

      Some scrap , ungarnished , cold and scant J "A merry Christinas , 6 en&emeny ~ "Tis thus the ancient ditty runs : Bat noDght we hear of welcome cheer , Ttjr Poverty's loir , haggard sons , Xor malt , nor -meat , nor fruit , nor "wine : 0 , a merry Chrisuaas -will be w > in » l A rapid ding-dong srrelleth round ; The giant steeples shake -with clee ; And misletoe is gaily bound With branches from-the laurel tree . The midnight gloom is deep—bat , "haris ' The tones of kindly custom flow ; Sweet musie eometh in the dark , "With voices greeting . a « they go , ** A merrv Christmas , ' S-. - ^ d ^ en •"

      -hje . sreal ones , it is all your otto J The hour is sung , the harp 15 strung , "Where Plenty Sings her treasures dotm > Vhathas the poor man got to do With bells and bay-wreaths , sonrs and mirth ? i * J me creep on with "Misery ' s n * ir . Twixt piercing sky and frozen ¦ earth : Sot malt , nor meat , nor fruit , nor wine : 0 .. a merry Christinas tide is mine . ' The rich man ' s boy laughs loud to find Thici ice apon the streamlet ' s tide ; His Aiiind cheeks freshen in ti ' . r wind , Bis warm feel K-antl along tic slide . Bin little loves the jx > or man ' s heir Tpon the stagnant riD to look ; H-e crouches from the biiing air ;

      His thin blood enrdles with the brook . The -well-born daughter sirales 10 Think How gay the lighted room will seem " ^" ben friends shall meet . to dance and drink , And all be glad as fairy dream . The poor man ' s girl shall only care To hug her tatter'd garment tight ; To wring theshoar frost from hex hair , And pray thkt sleep may «> me -nith night . Pale children o ? a pauper sla ^ e , Bare Christmas gambols re -win have :

      " AiaerrT Christinas , ' 3 mtVnncn ' FHl , aD your glasses high and fast : The north -wind's shriek 15 nercelj bleak , What matter \ let it rartle past . '" A merry Christmas , Gnileixen , ^ Feast on and chant a blythesome strain Th * entaas chill grows bleaiier still , "What matter * fill the glass again . Stir up tli * folaxe— -rejoice and feed . Shout and be happy as ye can . — ify groan arrests ye . take no heed , Tis but a hungry fellow man . " ¦ A mrrry Christmas , Gentlemen '" "Tit ? tljT 2 « rbe ? zucieuz dittr runs :

      2 > o Uingu * shall sing , no bells shall nne . For Por ^ rtr- 's low , haggard > ens ; Sot malt , nor meat , nor frrrit , nor wine : 0 . a merry Christinas tide is mine ! Bnt ' tis time -we returned to " * The Chime * : a Gotlin Story oj nine Bills that Rang aii Old Yiar out and a Sett- T-: ar in . " The reader isiD remember t-= at we left Alderman Laurie—we bes pardon , —Cuu we mean—lecturing 3 fcj and Bv-haT'l on the enormity of committing matrimony , and fbrewaminjr the " former thai if she ever Lad the pleasure of ± > eins brought before him he would

      is hi < odjciai character of just-ass , certainly j-nt h : r doitm . This worthy despatches Tr-APi with a letter to one Sir Joseph Bouley , an agricultural friend of Aldcr-nan Cau ' s , -and a great "Friendand Father to the Poor . " The Malthusian teachings of the tripe denouncers have tempted 2 rM > j to admit the belief that the poor are really bad , and the author of their own tronbles , and also of all the trouble they are supposed to cause the «? t of society . Ills interview with Sir Joseph £ oul < -v serves * bnt to strengthen , these withering impress-on * . At first Trotty is disposed to greatly admire the representative of the Buckingham school t > f Labour ' s friends : —•

      • " THI POOt XXS ' S rRUXD . " jToa have su bill or dfemand upon me ; my name is Bowkj , Sir J . j « * ph Bowlry : of any lantL from anjtudy , iaTc jou T said Sir Joseph . " If jou hare , prri < at it . There is a che > xu :.--b > x > fc by the side of ilr . Tub . I allow nothing to b < r csrritd into the new year . Xvcri a ^* cr : j » rlan vf secvunt : « * t-ttl £ -d in this huusi- at the ti ~ r « f the old one . ? o : l » at if death was to ^ - " To cat . " « r . ~* - ? ied ilr . Fi > h . ' Tt >« -rer ,- s .-ir . " returned > ir J ^ . -ph , with great aspe r itT . ' ¦ ; br cord of eiistence—my aSairs would be found , 1 i-c-TK-, in i state of preparation . " "Hi dW ^ ir Joseph , " sail the lady , who was greatly yoaortr thaa the ^ entl ^ ciaii . * " flew shocking - ** " 3 ly Ladv Ik . irleT * " retnrned ^ ir Jo ^ p h . floundarinc Et-rar 2 . 3 d then , aiin the great depth of his obserrations ,

      " afiiLt season of the year tvc should think of—ofocr > dTt £ . We should look icto our—our—accounts , "" " e shcjld feel that erarr rerarn of so eventful a period is human transactions involves matttrs of dtep mossnt between a man and his—a ~» il his bank * r . " * * » I « the 2 . w . man ' s triecd , " observed Sir Joseph , jimcinr a : ' Jhe Tv > or maa j-i-eseat . " As such 1 ma ; b « - aii ^ tf a . . s /^ uch 1 bs-r Wen ia-onted . Bnt I ask no other 'l : \ i . ^ "T 5 ' : ss hruj i- ^ r a 3 . fe sentlrinan " th-vjurht Tr-ytty .

      1 doa "; . u . -2 v . ^ rith C-J . - ? herv . i > r instance , " said Mr J ^' - vrpb , i .. Miasr < , ui th-ictier . " 1 -ion's agree ttitbtie ratr party . 1 -don ' t sgiee v . i'Ji any party . My SriTndihr pour man lias nt > baaiirs -with anything of ^ ia : sort , md nothing of that son lias any business * hfc luts . My friend the poor man in my district , is -an iu--iuesk >" o man vr bod ; , of men has anj ri fht to int-rfr-re "bertreen mj iri = n < 3 and nis . This is * ir jrouiid 1 take . I assume a—a pateraal character W » car&s mi friend . I saT . mj goo-J fell « w , 1 will trvat yea p » tsriAy \ "

      T& * listened with great crsfiij , and began to fe ^ l more cotcfurtabk . Tim cjmfortable state of feeling did not last long . It wa » a rule with Sir Joseph to settle all outstanding accounts on the day previous to the conimence-Oent of the 2 < ew Tear ! llis secretary , a Mr . i 7- * - « , K thus emploved with a huge cheque-book beside iim , when the Baronet questions Trotty as to hu P « paredness for the 2 Sew Tear , and is shocked to hear Trvtiy confess that lie owes some ten or twelve shillings to a Jfrs . Chicl&xrtalZ'r , who keeps a small Shop m the " general line : ' ¦ ' besides which he

      owes some trifle for rent . The letter Trotty has brought from AJdtnacn Cute apprises Sir Joseph of the arrival " m London of one William Ftrn , a ¦ labourer on the laiter ' s estate , seeking employment ; anoUhai he ( the Alderman ) , will engage to J > ut dovii" this obnoxious personage if Sf Joseph ^ esires h . Sir Jottpk , of courseToesiresit ; and gww s . gent back with a reply to that effect . Jwing discharged his commission , he is returnnig ^ ? ae , -when lie accidentally stumbles up Against « m Teritable WTtf Fern , who is carrying * little fin , hisBiece , in his arms , and inquiring for the residence of Aldtrwm Cuu .

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      irm rss .: s . " Ifs impossible , " crit-d Toby ivith a sUrt , " that your name ' s Fern : " * " Eh " cried the other , turuing on h ; :: i ia as > tonislimeut . " Fern I " vVni Fern V suid Trotrr . " That ' s mv mms , " rcjiiie . 1 tliv utiicr . " TtTby then , " cried Trorrv , sei = p ? him !; t i > e arm . and looking cautiously around , •¦ : V . r Heaven's sakf- don ' i gu \ k > Liin ! Dya ' t go to him I Ht'll put you down as surras ever you tnrt burn . Here ' . i-ome up this alley , and I'll tell you v . iiat I mean . Dun ' t so to him . "

      His new ofquaijitauct- ijoked as if he thought him mad ; but he bort him Cvunpany cergitlieless . O'hen thi : r were shrouded from obstrratioa . Trotty told him what be knew , and what cliaracter be bad received , and all about i : u The Fubjecl of bis history listened to it with a cahmu-ss tiiiit surpnsed him . He did not euutrailict or iiiterrup : it once . He uoddt-d his head now and tbeu—more iii corroboraticci of an old and worn-out story , it appeart-d , than in refutation of it . and once or twice threw buck Ms liat , and passed his freekled hand over a brow , wlitTe ererj farrow he had ploughed seemed to have set its image in little . But he did no more . " Jt is true enough in the main , " he said , " master . I could sift grain from husk here and there , but let it be as ' tis . "What odds ? 1 have gone against his plans : to mv misfortun . 1 can ' t help it ; 1 should do the like to-morrow . As to character , them gentlefolks will search and search , and pry and pry , and have it as free from spot and speck in us , afore they'll help us to a dry good word : Well : I hope they don ' t lose gt > od opinion as easy as we do , or their lives is strict indeed , and hardly worth the keeping . For myself , master , I never took ¦

      with that hand "—holding it before him— " what wasn ' t eqt otra ; and nerer held it back from work , however hard , or poorly paid . Whoever can deny it , let him chop it off . ' Bat when work won ' t maintain me like a human creetur ; when my living is so bad , that I am hungry , out of doors and in ; when I see a whole working life begin that way , go on that war , and end that way , -without a chance or change ; then I say to the gentlefolks , •• Ketp away from me . ' Let my cottage be . My doors is dark enongh without jour darkening of ' more . Don ' t look for me to come up into the Park to help the show when there ' s a birthday , or a fine speeclimaking , or -what not . Act yoor play ' s and games without me , and be welcome to ' em , and enjoy ' em . We ' nought to do with one another . I ' m best let alone . '"

      With some difficulty Trotty persuades his new found acquaintance to accompany him home , and share his humble lodging for the night . Arrived there , Trotty expends the sixpence he has earned in carrying Cuu ' t letter , in purchasing ; ea and a rasher of bacon for his wearieu guests . " Here we are and here we go f cried Trotty , runninj . ' round the room , and choking audibly . " Here , Uncle Will ! Here ' s a fire , you know ' Why don ' t yon come to the fire ? O , here we are and here we go . ' ilfjr , mi precious darling , there ' s the kettle ' . Here it is and here it goes , and it'll bile in no time ?"

      Tie whole scene is delightful , and in the author ' s best style . We regret we cannot afford room to give it . After tea the man and child retire to rest , and Trotty betakes himself to the perusing of his . newspaper , in which he lights on the account of a woman who had not only laid desperate hands on her o-sm life , but also on that of hor young child . Shocked at so unnatural and cruel an * act , Trotty t eviJgeniusagain takes possession « fhim , and he coneludes that the poor must be bad , and that those who could do such deeds had no business on earth . The f oblin pan of the story now commences . "While running over the newspaper horrors , Trotty falls asleep ; and what follows is a vision , inwhicli , a la

      Scrooge , he is made to see into futurity by the goblins of the bells . Of course the reader is not let into the secret that the scenes which arise before Trotty ' t eyes are really and only the shadows of a disordered imagination , occasioned by the indigestibility ol a tripe dinner . That is a secret which the author ieeps to the t ? lose of the volume , when , to the grvat relief both of Trotty and the reader , the phantoms conjured up disappear , and all ends joyously and Lappilv . To return to the beL ' s . Tn . tty " has hartUy thought the bad thought of his feUow-creatuni occasioned by tlie perusal of his newspaper , -when 3 o ' . the Odmu begin to ring , and to his fancv their one unvarying peal is "Toby Veck , Toby Yeek ; waiting fur you , Toby ! Come and see us , come and see us . l ^ rag him to us , drag him to us—haunt and hunt JU 3 U , haunt and hunt him ' . ' ' I ' nder the influence ofthisravstcrioussummom Toim leaves his room and

      Lies him to the church . To his surprise he finds the door a-jar , and impelled onward by some agency be is powerless to contend with , he mounts tin * stairs of the tower , llisber up , and higher up , he proceeds , until , by climbing and clambering , he at Ia 5 t tinds himself " among the bells . Appalled now at bis own dar ine , and the fearful loneliness of hi ? situation , he holloas for help ; but the echo is the only reply called forth , and , overcome with terror , Le sinks down in a swoon . Awaking from his siupor , he is still more terrified by witnessing the } iiv > ence of a myriad of goblins . Getting to discern more closely his present company , he sees among them , though but darkly visible , the Goblift of the Great BelL The great goblin charges poor Trotty with divers misdemeanours , more particularly his r .-cem uncharitable thoughts when perusing his newspaper .

      Lastly , and most of all , pursued the B ^ ll , " Who turns his back npoa the fallen and disngnred of Iris kind abandons- them as rile ; and does not trace and track with pitying eyes the unfenced preripire by which thry fell from good — grasping in their fall some tufts and shreds of that lost soil , and clinging to them stil ] when bruised and dying in the jrnlph l > elow ^ -dm-s wrong to Heaven and man , to time ajid to eternity . And you have dou ? that wrung '"' > pare me . " cried Trotty , falling on his knee ? : "f « .-T intrcv ' sake ' . "

      The Goblin orders Trotty to goforth , accompanied by the " Spirit of the Chimes : " but first the tower opens at his feel , and he sees his own form hing on the outside , crushed and motionless . Trotty is ma Jf to understand that an interval of nine years lias elapsed since he , ascending the tower as we have seen . was . by a fake step , precipitated to the bottom and killed . } lh task i > now to go forth in the spirit , and , seeing the -woes of the poor , learn the causes of tlit-ir crimes ; and this too from the then condition of those dearest to him . The fir * t scent presented to him is his daughter Jim . now grown nine years older than when he last saw her , endeavonrim : to earn a miserabje subsistence by working at embroidery . In this and subsequent scenes the author vividly and painfully pictures the misery of the London needlewomen . Mtq wasn ' t marriedthanks to the accursed CuUt aiid Filers for that .

      Thanks to their infernal lessons , Richard had taken it inio his head that be might do better ; that J % wasn ' t good enough for inni , < te . The * ' gentlemen " t'K had frightened J % . She feared , if married , she would be deserted , and all sorts of misfortunes would be her lot . So they had lingered , and lingered , until their trust in one another was broken ; and so at last wasthematch . It was tnus—her heart well-nigh broken , her beauty gone , and condemned to unceasing drudgery for a wretched subsistence , that Trotty beheld his daughter . Lilian too ( Jr £ 7 / Ferns niece j had grown a woman , and occupied , with JZ ? v , the same room , following the same employment , llear the miseries of the embroideress -7 1116 worker of eighty flowers for sixpence ' . 0 , profitocracy , where is thy shaine i 'Tis Lilian who speai . 3 : —

      " Such work , such work ; so many hoars , so many days , so manj long , long nights of hopeless , cheerless , neverending work—not to heap up riches , not to live proudly or jrady , not to lire upon enough , however coarse , but to earn bare bread ; to scrape together just enough to toil upon , and want upon , and keep alive in us the consi-itMi = sness of oar hard fa te * O Meg , if eg V She raised hvr voice and twined her arms about her as she spoke , like i'Dt in pain . " How can the cruel world go round , and bear to look upon such lives V But poor Lilian bad not jet reached the worst : a lower depth -was beneath her . The scene next changes to Bowlev Hall , the seat of

      SirJoteph Botcley , " Friend and father of the poor . " It is ^ New Year ' s-day , and also the birth-day of Lady Bowley . The E all was fall of visitors . Chte and" Filer were there . There -was to be a great dinner in the Great Hall , at which Sir Joseph Boiiley , in his celebrated character of " Friend and Father of the poor , " was to make his great speech . " Sir Jofrf'h Bou-lcy , Baronet and Jlember of Parliament , was to play a match at skittles—real skittles , with his tenants . " It was while the Baronet was thus engaged that Cute encounters Mr . Secretary Fish : —but these worthies shall speak for themselves : — THI " rCTTTS DOWS ' S " U JCESTAT 1 ON OVXB . A " Bi :-SPDCTABtE " SC 1 CIDX . " dear Alderman Cute , " said ilr . Fish ; " a little more this way . The most dreadful circumstance has occurred . I have this moment received the intelligence . ¦ The most frightful and deplorable event I " " Fish r * returned the Alderman . " Fish . ' my good fellow , what is the matter ? Nothing revolutionary , 1 hope ' . No—no attempted interference with the magistrates " " " Derr"Iltrs , tie banter , " gasped the secretary . " Deedles , Brothers , wbo was 10 have been here to-day—high in office in the Goldsmiths' Company . " " Xot stopped : " eiclaimed the Alderman . " It can ' t be I " " Shot himself . " " Good God V " Put 9 . double-barrelled pistol to his mouth , in bis own countiES-house , " said ilr . Fish . " and blew his brains

      out . Xo motive . Princely circumstances V " Circumstances V eiclaimed the Alderman . " A man of noble fortune . One of the most respectable of men . Suicide , Mr . Fish' By his own hand !" ** This -very morning , " returned Mr . Fish . " 0 , the brain , the brain J" exclaimed the pious Alderman , lifting up his bands . " 0 , the nerves , the nerves ; the mysteries of this machine called Man I 0 , the little that unhinges it 3 Poor creatures that we are ! Perhaps a dinner , . Mr . Fish . Perhaps the conduct of his son , who , 1 iave beard , ran very wild , and was in the habit r . f drawing hills ddod brrn withont the least

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      authority 1 A most respectable man . One of the most respectable men I ever knew ! A lamentable instance , if r . Fish . A public calamity ! I shall make a point of wearing the deepest mourning . A most resj ) ectable man : But there is One above . We must submit , Mr . Fish . We must submit !" What , Aldcnaan ' . No : word of putting down ! Remember , Justice , your high moral boast &w \ i > vi < le . Const :, AJde-rnjan . ' Balance those scales . Throw me into tiii-. the empty one , no dinner , and nature ' s founts in some poor woman , "dried by starving misery , and rendered obdurate to claims for which her offspring L < ts authority in holy mother Eve . Weigh me the two ; yuu Darin- "; going to jmlpnent , when jour day shall roME ! 'Veiirli tile ; :-., in tho eves of suffering thousands ,

      audience ( v . ot unmintlful ) of the grim farce you play Or , supposing thai you strayed from your five wits—it ' s not so far to go but that it might- be —— , and laid hands upon that throat of yours , warning your fellows ( if you have a fellow ) , how they croak their comfortable wickedness to raving heads and stricken hearts . What then ? " It is one of the biographers of Brass , when commenting on that inimitable production of the poet ' s pen , the Twa Dogs , who remarks , in allusion to the original of the tyrant factor , — "how easy it is to purchase an immortality of infamy ! " We have the truth of this beautifully exemplified in the case of the real Alderman Cute , whose empty-headed pomposity and heartless cruelty is in this character

      gibbetted for public scorn , not only for the present time , but for generations yet to come . The utility and good of this punishment is , that so long as the Lauhies—we mean the Gutes—continue to exist , though the present unenvied representative of the race may have ceased to be—long gone down into the night of fathomless obscurity ; . - so long as one of the race is to be found , here is the whip to scourge him with . Here is , ready heated , the iron with which to brand him , a mark for public shame . Inflated , cruel , cold-blooded " putters-down" of your miserable fellow-creatures ; tramplers upon your own species ; behold how heaven-guided genius shall " put you down" ! Petty tyrants of a day , —contemptible imitators and personifiers of incarnate evil , see the coming doom of your class . More potent than a two-edged sword , the pen shall smite

      you to the dust . Weapon of the poet and the patriot , thou art man ' s greatest good- man ' s source of present hope and future happiness ! Thine is the mission to vanquish the " putters down , " and raise the oppressed and prostrated children of poverty and toQ . Before leaving this portion of the Chimes , we must give another scene from the doings at Bowley rial ] . Anything more powerful in vindication of the poor , and denunciation of tliat infernal system which creates crime , and then persecutes to despair and destruction the criminal , never came from the pen of even a 1 > ickexs . Sir Joseph has made liis great speech , full of the humbug ana hypocrisy- which may be heard at every agricultural dinner in the kingdom . He has given * as a toast " The dignity of tabour , " (!) when Will Fern breaks through the assembled throng of rascals and slaves , and thus manfullv proclaims

      LABOCS ' S WRONGS . Gentlefolks "" he said , " you ' ve drank the Labourer . Look at me !" Just come from jail , " said Mr . Fish . Just come f rom jail , " said Will . " And neither for the first time , nor the second , nor the third , nor yet the fourth . " * * * O-entlefolks P repeated Will Fern , " Look at me ! You see I'm at the worsts Beyond all trust or harm beyond your help : for the time when your kind words or kind actions could have done ME good "—he struck his hand upon his breast and shook his head— "is gone , with the scent of last year ' s beans or clover on the air . Let me say a word for these" ( pointing to the Labouring people in the hail ); " 3 nd when you ' ve met together , hear the real truih spoken out for once . "

      " Gentlefolks , I ' ve lived many a year in tills place . 1 ou may see the cottage from the sunk fence over yonder . l "* e seen the ladies draw it in their books a hundred tinit ~ . It looks well in a picter , I ' ve heerd say ; but there an ' t weather in picters , and maybe ' tis fitter for that than fur a place to live in . Well ! I lived there . How hard—how bitter hard I lived there , 1 won ' t say . Any day in the year , and every day , you can judge for J vrtix own selves . * * "Tis harder than you think for , gentlefolks , to prow up decent , in such a place . That I growed up a mr . 11 and not 3 bnitf , says something for me—as 1 was then . As 1 am now , there ' s

      nothing can be said for me or done for me . I'm past it . * 1 drajrged on , " said Pern , after n moment ' s silence , " somehow . Neither me nor any other man knows how -. but so heavy , that 1 couldn ' t put a cheerful face upon it . or make believe that I was anything but what I was . Now , gentlemen—you gentlemen thai sits at Sessions—when you see a man with discontent writ on his face , you says to another , ' he ' s suspicious . 1 has i » y doubt , ' say * you . ' about " $ Vi ] l Fern . Watch that fellow ! ' I don ' t sa \ , gentlemen , it ain't quite natVal , but I say ' tis so : and from that hour , whatever Win -F # TO «« , or letc alono - —bIJ one- —it £ <* cs AfriftlnDt

      Alderman Cute stuck his thumbs in his waistcoatpockets , and leaning back in his chair , and smiling , winked at a neighbouring chandelier . . \ s much as to s ; ty . '" Of eour .-i-. ' 1 told you so . The common cry ! Lord bless you , wt are up to all this fort of things myself and human nature . " " Now , gentlemen . " said Will Fern , holding out his hands , and flushing for an instant in his hazard face . " Spe how your laws are made to trap and hunt us when we ' re brought to this . I tries to live elsewhere . And I ' m a vagabond . To jail with bini ! I comes back here . I sroes a nutting in your woods , and breaks—who don ' ta limber branch or two .. To jail with him ' . One of y «\ iT keeptrs sees me in the broad day , near my own X > atch of jtarden , with r . pun . To jail with him ! 1 has a nat ' ral an . ^ ry word with t hat man when I ' m free acnin . To jail niti ) him ! . I cuts a stick . To jail with him . I eats a rotten apple or a turnip . To jail with

      him I It ' s twenty mile away ; and coming back , I bejrs a triiW on the roau * . T ^» jail with him ; At last , thc i- « ii » tab ! e , 'he "k < .-e }>« . r— am body—finds me anywhere , a Joins : anythii'fr . To j : iil with him , for lie ' s a vagrant , and a jail-bird known ; and jail ' s the only home he's sr <> t . *' Tlu- Alderman noddtd sagaciously , ' as who should say , " A very srood home too '" ' Bo I say this is to serve 3 JT cause ! " cried Fern . ' Who can jriv <> me bark rny liberty , who can give me back my good same , who can give me back my innocent niece ? Not all the lord * and ladies in wide "England . But frentk-men . gentlemen , dealing with other men like me , begin at the right end . Give us , in mercy , better homes when we ' re a lying in our cradles : give us better food when we ' re-a working for our lives ; give us kinder laws to bring us back when we ' re a goins ; wrong ; and don ' t s <; tj jail , jail , jail , afore us , everywhere we turn . There an ' t a condescension vou can show the Labourer

      then that he wont take , as ready and as grateful as a man can be ; for he has a patient , peaceful , willing heart . But you must put his rightful spirit in him first -. for whether he ' s a wreck and ruin such as me , or is like one of them that stand here nojv , Ms spirit is divided from you at this time . Bring it back , gentlefolks , bring it back ! bring it back , afore the day comes when even his Bible changes in his altered mind , and the words seem to him to read , as they have sometimes read in my own eyes—in jail : ' Whither thou goest , 1 can Not go : where thou lodgest , I do Not lodge ; tV . y people are not my people ; Nor thy God my God ! ' "

      The scenes we have above copied are , we should state , witnessed by the ghost of Trotty Veck . Another period of time now elapsed , and the scene changes once more to Hcg ' s wretched home . Will Fern in his speech refers to the loss of his innocent niece ; in this scene we have the solution of his complaint . Poor Zilian , not possesssim ; the strength of mind which has saved Meg through a ]] her misery from temptation , has fallen . Poor Lilian has become one of those outcasts which society makes , and then punishes . But though sunken and fallen from virtue , the good of her heart is unextinguished . M length she dies on her knees , clasped in the arms of Hep , to whom she has returned to solicit her forgiveness . The storv of Lilian ' s death

      is piteously , beautifully told : and we regret we cannot transfer it to our " Garland -. " but room we cannot find . In this scene , but prior to the death of Lilian , we are introduced to Richard again : who , from the manly lover he was ere he [ had drank atthepoisonousstreams of Malthusianism . has sunk into the confirmed drunkard ; the half idiotic , sottish vagrant . Timo rolls on , and again the scene changes . Richard had sunk into tha ^ state of debasement that nobody would employ him . At length he throws himself at the feet of Meg , and begs her to take him as her husband , as the onlv possible chance of Jiis redemption . Poor Meg yields to his entreaties , hoping to save him for the sake of what they had once been to each other . They were married ; they have a baby ; but the attempt at reformation is made too late . Richard takes ill ; lingers weeks and months ; and at last

      dies miserably . The climax of Meg ' s misery now approaches . Having lost her regular work , she can only obtain chance work , that brings her for " a day and night of labour as many farthings as there were figures on the dial "' Without employment of any sort , on the lsi-t day of the Old Year she walks the city seekin ; work , but seeking in vain . She had not broke . 1 her fast all day , and now she applies for public 1 rarity , but this too she is refused . Faint and gidiiy she retraces her steps to her miserable home , where , to crown her wretchedness , she is repulsed on the threshold by the brutal occupier of the house . She pleads in vain . At length , despair ' s complete victim , she turnsproceeds down the dark street—and hastens to the river ' s brink : a true picture of Mart Foklet , and too many hapless ones who , like her , have been driven to destruction .

      THI LOST HOTHCT . In her own scanty shawl she Trrapped the baby warm . "With her fevered hands she smoothed its limbs , composed its face , arranged its mean attire . In her wasted arms she folded it , as though she never would resign it more . And with her dry lips kissed it in a final pang , and last long- agony of lore .

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      Putting its tiny hand up to her neck , and holding it thure , within her dress , next to her distracted heart : she set its sleeping face against her : closely , steadily , ag .-iiast her : and sped onwai-d to the river . To the rolling , river , swift and dim , wli ^ reWinter Night sat brooding like the last dark thoughts of many who had sought a refuge there before her . Where scattered lights upon tlic : banks gleamed sullen , red , and dull , as torches that wei-e burning there , to show the way to a death . Where no abode of living people cast its shadow on the deep , impenetrable , melancholy shade . Through all these horrors , the spirit ' of the o ) d man follows his daughter . The fearful agony he endures in his vain attempts to grasp her , to < h-ag Ik-v back , is depicted with a master ' s hand ; but with such truth and minuteness that the liveliest pain must be felt , by all who read this portion of the book . Most piteously poor Trotty appeals to the spirits of the Chimen to save his child , Ins Men , from

      the approaching dread catastrophe . ' Have mercy on her ! " he exclaimed , " as one in whom this dreadful crime has sprung from Jove perverted ; from the strongest , deepest love we fallen creatures know ! Think what her misery must have been , when such seed hears such fruit ! Heaven meant her to be good . There is no loving mother on the earth , who might nbtcome to this , if such a life had gone before . " She was in his arms . He held her now . His strength was like a giant ' s . # * " 1 know that we must trust and hope , and neither doubt ourselves , nor doubt the good in one another . I have learnt it from the creature nearest to my heart . 0 , spirits , merciful and good , I take your lesson to my breast along with her ! 0 , spirits , merciful and good , I am grateful ! ' ' Be might have said more , but the Bells , the old familiar Bells ; his own dear , constant , steady friends , the Chimes ! began to ring the joy peals for a New Year , so lustily , so merrily , so happily , so gaily , that he leapt upon his feet , and broke the spell that bound him .

      les ; the spell is broken—the yision is gone—the goblins have vanished—the spirit of the Chimes has accomplished its work . " And whatever you do , father , " said Meg , " don ' t eat tripe again , without asking some doctor whether it ' s likely to agree with you ; for how you have been going on , good gracious ! ¦ Guess Trotty ''« astonishment and delight ! For the details of the finale we must refer our readers to the book itself . Enough , that all ends happilv , and Richard and Meg , young , happy , and hopeful , are married . Lilian is not dead , but still a beauteous child . Will Fern finds a friend more likely than Alderman Cn \ e , in the person of Mrs . Chickenstalher , who proves t » be a relation he was in quest of . And the whole ends with a joyous dance , in which Trotty and Mrs . Chickenstalker take the lead , in a step unknown btfore or since ; founded on his own peculiar trot .

      The Chimes , in its outward and visible appearance , " is an elegant book ; beautifully illustrated by Messrs . ( Maclise , Stanfieu ) , Leech , and Doyle . We remember lio vork of Mr . Dickens's which has been so fortunate \ n this respect . Its charming factorial emMlishnents , accompanying the stering stuff of which t \ e tale is composed , fully warrants us entitling tht Chime * , " The Album for the Million for 1845 . " And now , reader , having traced the story of the Clihm-s—imperfectly , we admit— -from its commencement to its close , what think yon of this latest of the productions of Charles Dickers I Whatever be that opinion , ours shallbe given unreservedly . Several of the critic-craft—they must

      be bright boys at their business ' . —have very sagely set about comparing the Chimes with the previous works of Mr . Pickens . ' The upshot of their comparisons—hot odious , but stupid—has been that these knowing gentlemen have voted the Chime . " trash . ' We opine they have discovered by this time that the public , and themselves , hold opinions directly the reverse of each other . It appears not to have stnick these worthies that the Chime- * is a , book widely different to any work heretofore written by Mr . Dicrixs . True , every work yet written by Mr . Dickens kas had ; for its * object the elevation and improvement of mankind , and the enlargement of thogo kindly sympathies which have so much to do with the existence and

      promotion of human happiness . But , in the Chimes , expressing views of man and society far more comprehensive than he has before put forth , Mr . Dicke . ws eiitei'S the public arena , as the champion <>/ the people . ' Wellerixms , however happy , would be out of place in a work of this description . The masses are the victims of undeserveu suffering : their cause is a solemn one ; and solemnly , with an eloquence that "was never excelled : in ' * ' thoughts that breathe and words that burn , " Mr . Dickens pleads that cause against the cruel , canting , unnatural , blaspheming doctrines and actions of the ruling classes of society . But the parties who denounce the Chimes as " tpash , " charge on Mr .-Dickens the sins of

      "exaggeration , " and "extravagance , " " inflation" ami "falsehood" and an intent to array " party against party . and class against class . " We leave it to our readers , too many of whom we fear are not far removed from the suffering conditian of the Will Fern ' s and Meggy Veck ' * —to say , whether in describing the wrongs of their class , the condition of the agricultural labourer , and the bitter toil of the sempstress , Mr . Dickers has been guilty of " exaggeration , " " extravagance , " "inflation , " or "falsehood . " " Party' is " arrayed against party , " and " class against class ; " they hove been longso arrayed ; for tliat , the rich and the ruling classes are responsible . The advocatesTor , and apologists of , the rich , are numerous as corruption ' s wages can purchase ; but the advocates of the poor

      are , like "angel's visits , few and far between . " Nobly , therefore , does Mr . Dickens throw the weight of his great name into the scale on poverty ' s side : and if he seems to join in the strife ot " party against party , and class against class , " it is to help the wronged to j ustice , and the miserable to a better state " of existence ; ends which not onlv sanctify the struggle , but would also , if achieved " , put an end to fcho war of o ] . tsses and of parties , and establish unity and brotherhood in the place of hostility and hatred . We do not say that the Chimes is in each and every tittle a superior work . On tiie contrary , in plot and construction , we think it decidedly inferior to

      any other production of Mr . Dicrens ' s pen . But viewed in its political character and bearings , it in d ' -ridedly tlie best work Mr . IHckens has produced . It is tlie voice ; of poetry ; the voice of thought and feeling , appealing to eternal justice against "man ' s inhumanity to man . " a voice , which , while it will cause many an oppressor to shrink before its echo , will impart hope to the oppressed , and strengthen in thousands the cheering , saving belief that a better future for the many will come , when tlie condition of England ' s sons will be the reverse of that of Will . Fern ; and England ' s daughters be redeemed from that worse than Egyptian bondage , so truly , sadly pictured in the character of Meggy

      VscL-1 'faith , " Box has " played the very dickens " ' with our " Garland . " Trottu , and Meg , and Will , md Cute , have so trenchea upon our allotted space , that despite our second wreath , we shall , after all , be compelled to omit several bouquets , poetical and prose , which we had intended to form "part and parcel" of this year ' s selection . Having said so much in praise of tlie press when rightly directed , and the pen when honestly employed , * we don ' t know that we could do better than give the following beautiful lines by a lady , Mrs . E . S . Craven Green , in honour of

      THE GHEY GOOSE QUILL . Featheb of Eagle , or plume of snow , On warrior ' s crest , or on beauty ' s brow , Kissing the fair cheek ' s peach-like bloom , Or seen by a flash thro' the battle ' s gloom . Mighty your conquests ; but prouder still Is the triumph won by the Grey Goose QuiJl . Te have revell'd long in the golden store Of the poet ' s thought and the sage '? lore Ye who have « on by the power of mind The charmed land where the past is shrin'd . But the veil from tlie temple is rent , and lo ! In a thousand hearts its treasures glow , And a spirit lives in that mighty thron ? , Born of the glory obscured 60 Ion ;; . ;

      The siAVi have drank from the fount divine , And their souls are athirst for its deathless wiue Light from heaven has warm'd the day—Darkness shrinks from the coming day The world ' s deep heart has felt a thrill , The hidden might of the grey tiooso Quill ! In the darken'd mine , by the restless wheel , Bright thoughts on the weary heart shall steal . The furrow has past from the craftsman ' s brow , Some pleasant fancy is with him now !' . Or his soul is trane'd by the potent rhyme Of some mighty bard of the olden tinit ' He shall crouch no more by his cottage hearth , A darken'd , sordid shape of earth ; A tool just fashiou'd of human clav , To be wrought . ' at will , or cast away . Bis mind is awake!—he has heard the call" Knowledge and life for the bondsman thrall ;" He has wip'd from his name the sui-fdom ban ,

      And taken his place with his fellow man . Knowledge , and Power , and Freedom !—ye Speed well / mi your course , 0 mighty three i Who shall resist your boundless will , Or stay the flight of the Grey Goose Quill ? How fehall thy wonders , 0 , Art ! expand When the mind , shall guide the working hand , When science enlightens the craftsman ' s skill , And his thought shall live and be shap'd at will ' ¦ The many shaHjudfft , and be toss ' d no more lake shifting sands on the wild sea shore ; Tools of a party—their new waked power Shall have noble aims in the coming hour—True and trustful shall each unite , Calm in their own acknowledg'd might"Land of the "bold , the wise , the free ! Bright shall thy name amid nations be . Knowledge and freedom shall guard the still , For strong is the might of the Grey Goose Quill . We closed Wreath L with a call to our readers to drink the health of France and Freedom ' s poet ,

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      Beraxoer ; and we cannot ! close Wreath II , without reverting to the noblej spirits who , leaving all for liberty , devote themselves to freedom ' s holy cause . We have lately been gratified , delighted we should say , by perusing in tiie Athe-iueum translations of a few of thje lyrics of Ferdinasd Freilisraih , a German poet , who though very young , has already acquired an European fame . He was in the receipt of ] a pension from the King of Prussia , bestowed on him in 1842 , which pension he has voluntarily jreJinquWied , in order that , untrammelled and untiought , he may devote his high poetic powers to the service of the people and liberty . In his own words : — " Free , I choose my station With the people , and their cause make mine . 1 Poet , march and labour icith thy nation !' Thus 1 read , to-day , my Schiller ' s line . "

      The following splendid song , i by Frehigrath , we commend to our readers , hoping that wherever the sons of Democracy are assembled ; wherever the bowl is quaffed to the downfall of despots , and the triumph of liberty , there jwill this magnificent hvmn ring from the lips of e \ ery patriot present .

      OUR FREEDOM A ^ D RIGHT ! 0 ! think not henceforth they must lie in the tomb , 0 : think not henceforth they will hide from our sight , Though the voice of bold speakers is bid to be dumb , And none but the false ones have licence to write , No ! no ! tho' our martyrs in exile abide them , Though others , outworn with the sTyrants who ride them , Should lance their own veins in the dungeons that hide them , j Yet Freedom still lives , * and besidp her The Right . Our ^ Freedom and Right !

      Nor let us look blank at a single rebuff , — To purchase full victory , the warrior must fight ; This stirs but , and rouses the hearts of true stuff To cheer all the louder for Freedom ! and Rig ht ! For still the two Holy ones flourish together ; Share arms and adventures through fair audfbul weather , Where Right is , the Free , uninvited , fly thither ; And ever , where Freemen live , there rules The Right ! Lives Freedom , with Right . Let this , too , console us : the palr , | till to * uay From conquest to conquest ne ' er made such a flight ; Ne'er flowed their full breathing ^ ith healthier play , To stir e ' en the humblest of hinds jwith its might;—AH round the wide world , to each Jstate they are speeding , On each coast they are wakening , and mustering , and leading : : , They have struck from the vassal the bonds he lay dead in . i

      And stripped from the Xegro the chain of the White I Twin ) Freedom and Right . Aye ! spread are their banners , and wave everywhere , Each shame to abolish , each wrong to . requite ; Aye ! here if defeated , they're conquerors there ! And their triumph , at last , shall be perfect as bright . - 0 God ! vvhftt a garland to deck the ? high pair in , All leaves that all lands on their standards are wearing , The olive of Greece , the green trefoil of Erin , And the German oak-wreath , Hhowing first in the light ! Our Freedom and Bight !

      True , many , ere then , that now groan , will lie low ; Yet still sleep the just , and their slumber is light—And still on their tombs the twin glorious shall glow , For whom we bless them , too , —o ( ir freedom and right Charge glasses ! a health to the brave , that contending For truth , dared oppression and m | sery , unbending , Who wrongfully suffered our right tor defending ;—To justice for ever ' . and freedom through Right ; Our Freedom through Right ! We shall probably take an early opportunity of bringing our readers to a closer acquaintance with this

      noble poet . In the meantime three cheers and success to " Youn ^ Germany , ? ' and their glorious bard Ferdinand FnEiLionATni But we must conclude . The space allotted for our '' Garland" has been greatl y exceeded ; and though we are loth to leave our pleasing labour , yet quit it we must . Where , then , can we find a hearty , joyous chorus with which to conclude ? We have found it ! Jiere , from the pen of our talented and esteemed friend , James M'Kowex , several of whose excellent effusions have enriched our columns , we give , — last , not least , — i

      A Cheistmas song . Come drink apain with me , boys , And never fear , and never fiiar , The man , if man he be , boys , j Who d at us sneer , who'd at us sneer ; In -momi'Uts"bright as this bojjj , What churlish soul , what churlish soul , Would e ' er refuse to kiss , boys , The wassail bowl , the wassail bowl . Then fill the goblet , now boys , j To friendship dear , to friendship dear , Ere Time bind o ' c-r bis brow , boys , The waning year , the waning vear .

      To him of honest heart , boys , ' We'll drink indeed , we ' ll drink indeed ; Who scorneth to desert , boys , ; A friend in iipod , a frianU in need ; Who dreads no despot's ehain ; boys , Nor bigot ' s bann , nor bigot ' s bann ; Hut nobly doth maintain , boys ; The Rights of Man , the Rights of Man . Then drink to him with me , boiys . And never fear , and never ft- ^ r ; 'Tis "Nobles" such as he , boys , That we revere , that we revere ' . To him who strives to dry , boys , The sufferer ' s tear , the sufferer ' s tear ; Or breathe a word of balm , boys , In sorrow ' s ear , in sorrow ' siear ; And ever proves a foe , V > ovs , ¦

      To guilty power , to guilty p «> wer ; To him the bo « l shall flow , boys , This joyous hour , this joyous hour . Then drink to him with me , boys . And never fear , and never fear ; 'Tis Nobles such as he , boys , \ That we revert-, tliat we revere I knd now , good reader , our " Garland" for 1844 is completed ; and for us it only remains to wish thee a HAPrr new ' yeaii ! In the ' beautiful language of Charles Dickens— " May the ! JTew Year be a liappy one to you—happy to many more whose happiness depends on you ! So' may each year be happier than the last , and not the humblest of our brethren or sisterhood debarred their rightful share , in what our Great Creator formed them to enjov !"

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      Egos in Lest . — In Ireland regulations for fasting are differently arranged in different parishes ; in some eggs are forbidden to be used , or even ^ milK , or cream in tea , on stated days . In a parish in ijfle county of Kildare eggs were prohibited ; and , an , confession , Paddy Blake , the son of a celebrated ppefcfighter , deposed to having infringed tho order , upon being told by the priest that those eggs might have contained chickens , Paddy replied , " Ocli , no , j our riverenee , sure they were biled . " " No matter / replied the priest , " they might have bad chickens all the same ; " The priest , however , considered , Jthe offender's age , and pardoned him . A short time afterwards the priest , wishing for some of the fine breed of Paddy's father's cocks , asked Paddy for a clutch of his best ej ; gs . Pat promised to obey , and in

      a few days returned with the eggs . They were duly placed under a careful hen , and at the end 6 f three weeks , the usual time allotted for hatching chickens , inspection was made , but not a single egg chipped . A month passed , and no chickens . At length , after five weeks , tfie priest ' s patience was exhausted , and curiosity led him to break one of the eggs , when , po his astonishment , he found it was boiled , and hard , as a bullet : he went through the ceremony of breaking the whole clutch , and having discovered that all were alike , he sent for Paddy , and thus accosted hint : " You little rascal , the eggs you brought me were all boiled . " "Oeh , yes , your riverenee ; I was afraid I'd smash them if I brought them raw ; and , sure , your honour told me there might be chickens in them just the same . "

      Divorce . — " I ' ve a friend who wants to get divorced , " said a gentleman to a legal friend , "how ' s he to set about it ? " " If he's rich , go to Doctors ' Commons ; and provided he can prove the necessary facts , he may do it for a thousand pounds . " "But he ' s poor , sir . " " In that case , " said the lawyer , " he must go to the union workhouse , where , without proving any crime against his wife , they will di-Torce him directly . " Husbajji ) and Wife . —Sterne , who used his wife very ill , was one day talking to Garrick in a fine sentimental manner , in praise of conjugal love aod fidelity . " The husband , " said Sterne , " who ^ behaves unkindly to his wife , deserves to have his house burnt orer his head . " " If you think so , " said Garrick , " I hope your house is insured . "

      O . ve good turn deserves another . —When Frederick Reynolds , the dramatist , mentioned to a friend that he was about to appear in the character of a novelist , he complained to him of the many difficulties he should have to encounter in his new undertaking ; tlie latter replied , "Think , when the work is over , of the pleasure of correcting the press . " " Ave !" rejoined Fred , " and when that work is over , think of the press having the pleasure of correcting me !*' Cost of a Watch . — . During the war of 1796 , a

      sailor went into a watchmaker ' s shop in the city , and handing out a small French watch to the ingenious artist , demanded how much the repairs would com * to . The watchmaker looking at it , said it would cost him more in repairs than the original purchase , " Oh ! if that is all , I don't mind that , " replied the sailor ; " I will evea give double the original cost , for I have a veneration for the watch . " " What might you have given for itr ? " inquired the watchmaker . " Why , " said Jack , twitching his trousers , " I gave a French fellow a knock on the head for it ; and if you'll repair it I'll give you two . "

      A Difficulty . — " Dick , " said a master to his servant , " have you fed the pigs ? " " Yes , massa , me fed ' em . " " Did you count them , Dick ? " " Yes , massa , me count ' em , all but one . " " All but one ?" " Yes , massa , all but one—dare be one little speckled pig , he frisks about so much me couldn't count him . ' ^ An Inference . —A servant had lived many years with a clergyman , and his master took occasion to say , " John / you have been a long time in my service : I < lare say you will be able to preach a sermon

      as well as H" " 0 no , sir , " said John , " but manjr an inference I have drawn from yours . " " Well , " said the clergyman , " I will give you a text out of Job ; let me hear what you infer from it : — ' And the asses snuffed up the east wind . '" " Well , " replied John , "' the only inferenoe I can draw from that is , they would be a long time before they would grow fat upon it . " An Orange Vesture . —Leigh Hunt was askea by a lady at dessert , if he would not venture on an orange . " Madam , I should be happy to do so , but I am afraid I should tumble off . "

      Sharp Retort . —Sir William C being at a parish meeting , made certain proposals , which an influential farmer objected to , and so effectually that they were not earned . Highly enraged , " . Sir , " says he to the farmer , " you may be a judge of a plough , but you know nothing of" the ' subjects in which you interfered . I think I ought to be well informed upon tiiem ; 1 have been at both the universities , and at two colleges' in each . " "Well , sir , " replied the farmer , " and what of that ? I had a calf that sucked two cows , arid the observation I made , was , that the more he sucked , the greater calf he grew .

      The Country Fiddler . — A rustic Paganim was so fond of accompanying his performance on the violin eon spirita , that it frequently brought him into manj s ¦ r « fJes , as well as distress . A gentleman meeting him one day looking very doloroso , said , " Why , Jack , what ails you , isn ' t your fiddle in tune < " " No , zur , replied Jack , " it be in pawn . " Di . va-bh-ik-xxixo . — " Do you hunt ? " inquired a ' countryman" of D . " Hunt , did you say , my ilarlint ; . ' replied he : " to be sure I do , every born > iay of my life . " " And pray , " continued his friend , '' what description of game do you pursue ? " " What game . "' thundered Dan , " why , the best of all game ; that tliat conies to the table—a dinner , to be sure ! The " oder Pat" was satisfied .

      A Wonder in Heaven . — In the neighbourhood of Kilbarchan , there lived two men , father and son , weavers by trade ; and sole inhabitants of the tenement . For years they had made family worship a rule Wore going * to bod , the old man praying , andthe ^ son reading the chapter . One night tho son was reading from the 12 th chapter of Revelations—" Another wonder in heaven , a great dragoon . " " Stop ,, lluwhie " says the father , " thou ' rt wrong ; it ' s no dragoon , it ' s ' a dragon . " " Wha should ken best ?" quoth Hughie , " when I hae the beuk afore me . ?" "I'm nae heeding aboot that ; I hae read it fifty times , and I ' m reet ; dearme , llugliie , did thou ever hear o 1 a dragoon being in that guue place ? I ne ' er did . " "Ay , ay , father ; but this is a wonder , though . " ' " Weel , weel , read awa ' , Uughie ; it could na be onv 0 ' Claver ' s bloody troopers at ony

      rate . " A tivelt Repartee . — A soldier of Marshal Saxe ' s army being discovered in a theft , was condemned to be hanged . What he had stolen might be worth five shillings . The Marshal meeting him as he was being led to execution , said to hiin : " What a miserable fool you were , to risk your life for five shillings ! " " General , " replied the soldier , "I have risked it every day for five-pence . " This repartee saved his life . Modestt . — An Irishwoman once called upon an apothecary with a sick infant , when he gave her a powder , of" which he ordered as much as would he on a sixpence to be given every morning . The woman

      replied " Perhaps your honour would lend me the sixpence the while , as 1 have not got one by me at * 1 1 . " . Usastmitt . — A Scotch pareon in his prayer said , " Laird , bless the grand council ( the Parliament ) , and grant they may hang together , " A country fellow standing by replied , " Yes , sir , with all my heart , and the sooner the better ; and I am sure it is the prayer of all good people . " " But , friends , said the parson , " I don ' t mean as that fellow does , but pray they may all hang tdgether in accord and concord . ' " No matter what cord , " replied the other , " so 'tis

      a strong one . Tite Irishman and the Humbug . — A poor Irishman was travelling on the outside of a coach from Bristol to London , and was observed to be very uneasy , and to seek every opportunity for indulging in a comfortable scratch . " What , Pat , " said some of his companions , " have you got the itch ? No , replied Pat , "but I ' m ate alive with bugs . " " 0 , nevermind , " said some of his companions , "you ' re used to it . " "No , " said Pat , " we have no such thing in bur country . " ' No such thing ! Well done , Pat . I slept about a week ago at Caahel , and theytook the clothes off the bed , and would have pulled me after them if it had not been for my dog , that slept in . the room ; why , they ' re as large as rabbits . I forget what they call them . " " Och , I axes pardon , " said Pat , " I knows them sure enough ; them , is what we calls humbugs . "

      Rcssu Bisdixq . — An Irish gentleman took a book to his binder , who asked him if he would have it bound in Russia . " 0 , Jasus , no ! " rephd he , do you think I can wait for the book while itw making a , sea voyage ? You must get it bound in Dublin . Forbidding iraftons .-A scholar of Dr . Bnsbv * 8 coming into a parlour where the Doctor had laid a fine bunch of grapes for his own eating , took it up , and said , "I publish the banna between these grapes and my mouth : if any one knows any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined

      together , let them declare it . " The Doctor being in the next room , " overheard all that was said , and coming into the room , ordered the boy who had eaten the grapes to ' be taken up , or , as they called it , horsed on another boy ' s back ; but before he proceeded . to the usual discipline he cried out aloud , as the delinquent had done , "I publish the banns between my rod and this boy ' s breech : if any one knows any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together let them declare it . " f M forbid the baims , cried theboy . "Why so ? " said the Doctor . ' ^ Because the parties are not agreed , " rephedjge pojj which jjocwkW 4

      answer so pleased me , » v « w » ^ j- ^™ my readiness o-Twit in his scholare , that he ordered theboy to be let down . > An Awk-wWThbi ^ t . —ChMles Fox toldanflMOlent fellow he would kick him to hell . " If you dor said the other , " I will tell your father how you are squandering his money . "

      Untitled Article

      PscEMBEB 28 , 1844 . ' THE NOJRTHERN STAR , j . 3

      Untitled Article

      A BOWL OF - PUSCE , " FRESH BREWED . Punch ' s Almanack for 184 o . |—We advise all our readers to immediately become purchasers of Punch ' s Almanack . Tlie illustrations are excellent , and will be found provocative of never-jending * amusement . We subjoin a few extracts : — j Soliloquy of a Sheriff ' s Officer . — " Hilary Teiiu ' . Pshaw ' . There ' s nothing hilarious about our terms now . This is a precious | land of liberty , this

      is . ' ven a sheriff ' s officer can't find a shoulder to turn his hand to . Time vas , ven I took my two bottles and my six bodies a-day . But ijow I thinks brandyand-vater a luxury , anu hasn ' t as much as a diaman " ring to my finger ; I vender ven they'll gladden my heart with a " execution ? " fot the sheriff ' s officer who weuldn ' t serve a fellow-cveiur in a distress isn ' t vorthy of the name of Levy ! § o I may as veil sell Madame Tussaud my top-boots' to stand by them figures of VeUington ' s and Blucher ' s .

      Worthy of Attention . —Advice to persons about to marry . —Don't . j A Voice from the Bakehouse . — A good baker should grow bis own mutton . This is easily done by placing your customer ' s legs inja row , according to sixes . Having purchased the smallest leg you can find , change it for one of the bakings which is a little larger ; that again should take the place of the next bulkier joint , and so on until you ; arrive at the largest . You can then walk off with yojirj leg . A good crop of bak'd taters may be got by digging one out of each customer ' s dish . [ Ornithological debit . —The cuckoo makes its first appearance before a British public early in spring , and trusts to that indulgence which an English audience is never known to withhold from strange birds who come in the character of foreign vocalists .

      Directions for fix-ding a Polkemaa ' . —Look down every area in the street ; if you do not by accident see one , ring the bell and inquire if the policeman is in the kitchen . Repeat this at every door , and you cannot fail eventually to find one ! Medical . — £ ertain cure of a cold in &prima donna . Stop her salary , or put a rising vocalist in her part . Boimo . — The boiling point ! varies in different localities . In Belgrave and Grosvenor-squares , Mayfair and Spring-gardens , the pot can hardly be boiled

      under £ 3 , 000 a-year . Whereas Hip at Camden Town the pot will boil at £ 150 or £ 200 : and about St . Giles ' s or Spitalfields , at 7 s . or 8 s . per week . Literary . — June is Nature ' s publishing season , when she sends forth several of her periodicals . That splendid annual the strawberry begins to appear in parts , and the gooseberry comes forth in numbers . Some apples and pears may also be expected , as specimens of some early editions of those beautiful standard works in Nature ' s library . !

      The Art of Packing . —A carpet bag should be packed by placing the clean linen in first , including tlie frilled shirts . After which stuff in the coats and boots , garnish with shaving tackle , and ram down with hair brush . If the packing is not then successful , insert your foot into the bag , and pull fiercely at the handles . It does not matter about the carpet bag being wide open at both sides , so as it ia closed with a padlock in the middle , j Hints fob Shoppjxo . —If you want to purchase a piece of tape , go to Waterloo House , and ask to look at everything new in dresses , cardinals , cloaks , muffs , carpets ^ ' and feathers . \ Having fixed upon what you would purchase if you ] had the money , say , you see nothing to suit you , buy yo"U * r tape , and resolve , by future rigid economy w the house-keeping to squeeze that duck of a polka jacket out of the pies and puddings . i

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  • Citation
    • Northern Star (1837-1852), Dec. 28, 1844, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/vm2-ncseproduct839/page/3/