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Northern Star (1837-1852), 8th February 1845, Edition 4 of 4, Page 3, A BOWL OF "PUNCH," FRESH BREWED.

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      *~ Hr/Taltt And Buckingham. A Ballad Of ...

      _*~ Hr / _TALTT AND BUCKINGHAM . A BALLAD OF STOWE . ( _jnce more , once more , the Hoyal ' _train Speeds on in its race-horse progress " . ) !]; ¦ Then c heer away , ye loyal throats , _Sincesycop hancy ' s your profession _, fjbeer on , cheer on , our glorious (!) Queen , Cheer Alberts form that sits beside her ' s - lan cheer yon awkward squad of fools , The Chandos tenant would-be riders ! ( jeer on , cheer on—the " noble" Duke Has loads of ale to wetyour throttles * >* o loyalty is half so true * As that wbicb springs from foaming bottles j [« n in their sober senses might See little cause to cheer such follies ; -got Barleycorn ' s delicious fumes _Disijel the -worst of melancholies '

      Taxes , starvation , paupers ' moans , Are horrid things whe n you are sober , Bnt Queens—e ' en fair [' . ) as ours—acquire A brighter ray from " old October . " So donlrt the " noble" Duke _vrHl bleed Bis Swollen purse to crown the revels , ilthough bis Grace ' s labourers want A crust of bread , on dit , poor devils ! flow pretty look those white smock-frocks—Why did he not with roses -wreath ' em I And yet it is a pity that Snch skeletons are bid beneath ' em ! And flags tbey bore , inscribed , perhaps , With mottoes such as these we tell ye—* ' Cod save fhe Queen and BuckinghamV " God fill for once this craving belly 1 " Ol 'twas an intellectual sight ,

      And fit to Taise the soul ' s emotion , Those loyal smiles , those knees that bent To "Vie , not God , in their devotion ! 0 , twas a thing to recollect Through future years with awe and wonder , Those clumsy clowns Ix-garlanded , Those beer-choked throats' applauding thunder Is there , then , something in a Queen More heavenly ihan in ns poor sinners ? And can a glance from Royal eyes Pill starring stomachs -with their dinners ? fan e ' en the sight of monarehs still The tooth of want , that Inlawing devil S As legends tell , in days of yore , Their simple touch would cure the " evil I " Can e ' en a nod from Royal bead Disperse at once the clouds of anguish ? Cool the lean pauper ' s fevered brain ,

      And bid the outcast cease to languish ? Can Vic , all lovely as she is—To casta doubt on this were treason-Scatter bright blessings in her path , And warm old winter's bitter season ? Can Albert , inoffensive youth , Although bis moustache such a dear is . _Mate Buckingham ' s lean labourers fat , Or turn their haggard wives to peris . God ! what a mockery thus to raise The hymns of worship for a mortal ! Flowers to strewbeneafh ber feet , And thus throw wide each palace portal God 3 what a mockery thus to sing - Pecans of heartless exultation ; While giim starvation decimates , And taxes crush the scowling nation ! Sod ! what a mockery thus to cheer

      The tawdry train of _roval -weakness j While shivering want lies cowering down , With not a shred ' gainst winter ' s bleakness God 1 what mockery thus to laugh While myriad tear-wora eyes are crying : God ! what a mockery tnus to "five , While thousands on tbe straw are dying . ' * * # # * Speed on , speed on . oh Koyal pair , Kor heed the muse ' s harsh reflections ; Enjoy your courtier-scented air , And Buckingham ' s low genuflections . Speed on , speed on , oh Royal pair , With fulsome flatteries lined your road is ; _Plag and " smock-frock / ' triumphal arch , Fat aldermen and reverend toadies !

      Speed on , speed on , each booby ' s zeal Fresh words of sycophancy teaches ; Behold , " Ms Worship" brings the " mace , " Ah , injured grammar , stop his speeches . Yet one would think the Royal taste _(') Must by this time be almost sated ; Doth not this endless meal of praise Fall on tbe palate nauseated ? " Tath not the ceaseless banquet yet Oi * ad'dation lost its savour ? ' ould n .: a little sharp cayenne " - .- "• _-. uVoinejust to change the flavour ? aid sot one small bright grain of truth > _ai . - tbese lies so sycophantic f i j .:. u > ; , Royal « ar 3—good God , ' - ¦ ' - . - _*¦¦; make Court toadies all Quite frantic

      _-:. * .- : n lie on , then— -Monarehs' ears ' - always doomed to be surrounded Bv « . i 7 _rrng drones , who never let Aught but tJieir fulsome bum be sounded . let them lie on , then—let them fill The bright cup to its fullest measure ; l < t them dance , sing , and laugh aloud , We too can laugh—though not with pleasure Wc too can laugh _^ -a bitter laugh—A laugh of scorn and grief united ; room for yon sycophants who kneel , Grief for the pauper starved and blighted .

      dace more once more , the Hoyal train _Speedson in its race-horse progression j Then cheer away , ye loyal throats , Snce sycophancy's toot profession . —Satirist

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      Douglas Jerrolds Shilling Magazine.—Febr...

      DOUGLAS JERROLDS SHILLING MAGAZINE . —February * . The appearance of this Magazine , prodaiuing the ? esolution of its conductors to devote its pages to " a consideration of the social wants and rightful claims « ' ihe People , " was , we felt assured , from the moment we perused the prospectus , calculated to excite * hehosfliity of all those pimps of power , who , masters of the " grey goose quill , " prostitute their glorious _pttvilege to the service of fraud and the perpetuation 6 f Wrong and oppression . In thai expectation we 2 _ave not been wholly deceived , though we acknow-- * ttge , with pleasure , that the yelpings ofthe _dissatisled have been confined to a ' much smaller number we had to

      _^ pan anticipated ; a certain extent , there-- _* v _** _rebave found ourselves agreeably mistaken . „ The excellent reception which , on the whole , the arst number of this Magazine met with from tiie cnucs of the press , we confess surprised us . Li toy a paper in whieh we expected to find the tor-Jent of vituperation let loose , we found , on the eon-• _JJuT , the kindly words of welcome . This proves one « two things ; either that newspaper critics are aware ' Am Mr . Jerhoub lias achievedapositionfromwhich , so long as he remains firm to principle , their assaults ae powerless to dislodge him ; or else , that , in spite ta ihe infamous politics of several of the journals to _« uch we allude , their conductors in their own hearts ; tel the justice of the principles proclaimed by Mr .

      " _-erboij ) , and though they themselves darenotadvoeate ' _fyx principles , the " still small voice" of conscience bids them approve . Charity bids ns to believe "hat this last is the truth ; bnt either is pregnant "with _We-seil hope forthe masses , proclaiming " tnnnpetlOngned" that their brighter day is coming ; for their _QDse is now _* _pleaded by one of the mightiest of the _•** _u _tf / mind , and his pleadings are listened to by _aj ] _wssesi with admiration or with awe . "ould that we could say this of all who have _Ssayed the critic ' s task in conning the pages of the _Qs _inumbcr of this Magaziiie . Would that we could cffiMess that in our anticipations we had unwittingly _^ M'gcd . the K . 7 , ole of the critic order . But , we have -samwe have found ourselves not wholly deceived in

      _» anticipations ; and we must now be permitted to _pJL _*** _iwiiar"ks on the wise comments of the f j _Uttor of the Literary Gazette , who has thought _ihinV *? P U' _*** superannuated sword in defence of « . _* " _^ . _*^ , _pey are , and against Do _* cglas Jebbold ' s n _vi- wi " ureadful" Shilling Magazine _, " the - m of the _P _^ teraxy Gazette admits that the riV _* \ mom _* 2 _utous question pending between Then ? i * le _? 00 r _•* _drns i ° ° f * community . inos" a _i ? _prodi gious evils and immeasurable sufferan » rtarrf admits tliis ; but it would appear he is ¦ _alenno _? _Jskboidforexposingtiioseevils and and d _^ 't . - * tuen m hive with human misery ; _oeatur _^ _j hc oice a * the sufferings of his fellow _"fiipr _^ r _^ ? no means ; he claims to be the _y _^ BMof the people" as well as Mr . _Jehbou _) ; bnt _easfiift m ?* quacks" prescribing _theirpanaiiTi _^ . tl e maladies of the _boSv ™ . litic . Of course

      % _Xf « Gazateisno " quack ! " _Fortweniy-^ _iuarh > ' hi 8 predecessors , have puffed into _proanefinV ° _T _, _^ _enmed to annihilation , those _^ _frn-iu oftUe Press which have appeared before _torwiii _nn _^ Mgment , _DtrrmgthattmietheEdi _tt ann _v _i _% clamitohavingdonesometliingto fontrol of J _^ _^ « baracter of that literatnre , the _-k pse nf T eh be ha * aspired to . Well , after the € ' seJ ! r nmilon > " _^ bat are the fruits of the _^( _otJzfr _management ? "Prodi giousevUsand claim thT _^!! _* lfer * ' _^* s'" But the Gazette wSI & b' _^¦ _ParkS asib rf *¦ _*» t _^ _S ' and " ty _^ ybere _^ _S _? ' _^^ insti _* ations , taxation—these l of _^ _' _bntnottheGaZeMe . " Wmt , ihen , _^ erWV * _16 _bunted influence of literature ? If _^ beeon ifi , eve , lt , Preseiit state of things , it _tf _« . whv _^^ f _^ to change that state . And , ! ?* _| _- if £ * _?» _-Oouffta _* JtrtoWs Magazine , 1003 _w _erfl ? _' WCTe tlle _<***» _mBSthe powerless for

      Douglas Jerrolds Shilling Magazine.—Febr...

      no ? bl £ _Str \ _il tlWt the _. P _^^ e thC term _irtuL r _* stncted sense— is all-powerful and ln « _mSSss _? _^* _^^ bSt _t _' f _^ cid pS _eTCnttrT _^ ° ] i 5 i 9 tor > T w t , IC rcta _& r « f oftbo " _wWLi ' 5 _*™ » t" _-ofromance or the herald _helliisTJ _, / 0 " _V- l' _^ _J-litoature has mainly _ao _^ _- _fLffcS 8 6 and _**** - _*> _»> _ake « the worse _appeal the better reason ; " to prop up fraud and mei right . Wc & _iy that vainl y this has been _thetie-•^ iding use made of what should have been the in-Th _^ _mi" _* _" _!?^* _* _*? * < 0 tlle human family _, aiieienaveeyer been exceptions , particularly in poetic has the hardest task to stifle and extinguish the light _£ L _£ i Wlt ,, m lu I ihm CYen amongst the poets , how many have fallen -from " their high estate , and become the mere things of vilest clay feeding on the crumbs flung from the rich man ' s table " _"Rnt .+ _bo-h _™ . _*! . - __ « . _ , .,

      Such lias been the general state of literature while _tlio Literary Gazette has held rule in the " Republic of Letters . " The rich have rioted in wrong unchecked , and the poor have suffered undefended ruiayesor " quacks " - ( the Editor of the _Gazettemay select either homMhe literati of tlie past , or at least thepassmg age have been . Of such tho present age has grown SIck and weary . Mealy-mouthed sympathisers are turned from with disgust ; and feelfn _» men , earnest men , courageous men are demanded for the exigencies of the present time . The demand is _notiinanswei-ed ; for , behold , a Caw-tie , a _Dickexs , a Jehrold , and a Hood , with many others of minor note , have already appeared to proclaim tho wants of the hitherto dumb many—dumb because their appointed Toice ( the press ) has been a traitor to its trust , and betrayed the mission heaven had assi < rned it . "

      The Editor ol the Gazette , while deploring the sufferings of the poor , denounces the idea that "bull ying and exasperating the upper and middle orders of society is the best mode of infusing into them the E rinciples of _getwrosity and charity . " Here is the ict - . — "Prodigious evils _andinimcasurafelc sufferings " have been the result of the rule of the many by the few ; but these results must not be exposed under pain of being denounced as " bullies , " and exasperators ofthe " upper and middle classes , " who , forsooth , must be fed with " generosity" and " charity , " gently as babes are with pap . Innocent sucklings ! " Exasperate , " indeed ! It appears to us it is the working classes against whose further " exasperation " every means should be taken _tofguard ! But we must "infuse "—what a Godfrey ' s Cordial-like word!—into the upper and middle classes the principles of generosity and eltaritg—i _, e .

      "With bated breath and in a bondsman ' s key ;" we must implore of the working classes to sue for mercy instead of demanding justice—to beg for charity instead of insisting on right ! The literary Gazette savs— "It is a barefaced lie to ascribe all the wretehedness we see to the wrongs and oppressions of those who enjoy happier lots . " Of course giving the "barefaced lie" to its opponents is a nice example for the Gazette to set in carrying out the " soothing system . " We join issue with the Gazette , and avow our readiness to prove at any time that all the evils the poor suffer , save and except such as the natural laws of the universe render all classes subject to , are to be laid to the _chai'ge of the rich , they and they only being responsible for those evils . The rich monopolize the soil ; appropriate the wild animals to their exclusive use ; make capital multiply capM _tarouglithevforkuigs of milk , mines ,

      fisheries , and the endless ramifications of trade and commerce ; live in splendid mansions ; usurp exclusive power ; rule the state ; levy taxes ; make wars ; and enjoy all the emoluments , and honours , and p leasures of society . On the other hand , as effect follows cause , the poor are denied an inch of their motherearth ; die for want of food ; are punished for poaching ; create wealth , to subsist on starvation wages ; are defrauded of the fruits of their industry ; exist in wretched hovels ; are slaves , politicall y as well as socially ; have to pay the taxes ; are the human material for the gorging ofthe monster , war ; and have to suffer privation , disease , and premature death for their share of the social contract . Perhaps tiie Editor of the Literary _ffaceKts ' will say that these assertions are " barefaced lies ; " facts of daily and hourly occurrence but too painfull y and too incontestibly prove their truth .

      The Gazette admits that the " prevalence of extreme poverty , throughout so rieh and prosperous a land , is a reproach to human nature , " and adds , " instalments may pay off national _miseries'as well as national debts . " How soon the National Debt will be paid off by instahnents , the critic saith not ; but if tie poor are to have no better hope of getting their wrongs " paid off , than we have of seeing the monster swindle paid off by "instalments , " their condition , we fear , will be hopeless indeed ; The specimens we have given of the article in the

      Gazette are fair samples of the spirit , of the whole , which throughout is bitterly denunciatory of Mr . Jekrold ' s Magazine . We are well aware that Mr . Jebrow needs not our advocacy , nor have we the presumption to assume to act as his defender . It is principles for which we contend , and the cause of the millions , dearer to us than any other consideration . We pass by the smaller fry , who , in provincial papers have aped the wondrously wise saws of the Gazette editor . They are too few and too contemptible to have their little greatness advertised .

      Come wenowto the second number of Mi * . _Jeusold ' s Magazine , of the merits of which we have left ourselves but little room to speak : but there is no need of any lengthy commendation , when in two words we may embod y its _worth—ESCEl . _bEST and _TABMCbESS , * The story of " St . Giles and St . James" is continued , and lacks nothing of the interest with which it commenced . We give an extract or two : —

      CONSOLATION FOB . _SHE UCLT , We cannot say—and hi truth it is a ticklish question to ask of those who are best qualified to give an answer—if there really be not a comfort in substantial ugliness * . in ugliness tliat , unchanged , will last aman his life ; a good g ranite face , in -which there shall be no wear aud tear . A man so appointed is saved many alarms , many spasms of pride . Time cannot wound his vanity through his features ; be eats , drinbs , and is merry , in despite of mirrors . So acquaintance starts at sudden alteration , hinting , in sueh surprise , decay and tlie final tomb . He grows older , with no former intimates—church-yard voices!—crying ' , "How you ' re altered ! " How many a man might have been a truer husband , a better father , firmer f riend , more valuable citizen , bad he , when arrived

      at legal maturity , cut off— -say an inch , of his nose . This inch—only an inch!—would bave destroyed the vanity of the very handsomest face ; and so driven the thoughts of a man from a vulgar looking-glass , a piece of shop crystal —and more , from the . fatal mirrors carried in the heads of . women , to reflect heaven knows how many coxcombs who choose to stare into them-to the glass of his own mind . With only such petty sacrifice , he might have been a philosopher . Thus considered , how many a coxcomb may be within an inch of a sage 1 True , tliere was an age when wise men—at least a few of them—glorified in selfmutilation , casting sanguinary offerings to the bird of wisdom . But tliis was in the freshness and youth of the world ; in the sweet innocence of early time . But the world grows old ; and , like a faded , fashionable beauty , tlie older it grows the more it lays on the paint .

      One of the characters in the tale is a Miss Canary , an old maid , who , miserably poor , gets her living by selling bills ofthe play , and oranges in the gallery of Covent Garden Theatre . But poor as she is , she has one consolation— " She was born a lady : nobody could deprive her of that . " Bright Jem , a cosmopolitan linkman , in love with all the world but the rascals in it , cannot swallow the doctrine of

      XOBIX _BIKTn . Nonsense , said Jem . I tell you , Miss Canary , there isn't sich a thing as a born lady in the world . Why ! you never , Mr . James ! and Miss Canary was scandalised at the heresy . Born lady ! repeated Jem , laughingly ; and then moving his chair towards his disputant , he touched her mittened arm with bis pipe , saying—Look here , now . There ' s Mrs . Giimbles , at number five , she had a little gal last week , —you know that ? Well ; Mrs . Grimbles is a clear-starcher . That you allow ? And for that reason —now tell me this , —for that reason is her little babby born a clear-starcher ? Eh ? I should like to know as much as that now . 0 , Mr . James ! you ' re a good person , but you know you ' re a low man ; no , no ; you can ' t understand these things . And Miss Canary smiled a pitying smile .

      I tell you , said Jem , there ' s no sich thing as born ladies and gentlemen . There's little bits of red girls aud boys born , if you will , —and you may turn ' em into—now , look here , said Jem , if . there was to be some born gentlemen and some not , —why wasn't there two Adams and two Eves , for the high folks and the low ones f 0 , Mr . James ! cried Miss Canary , half rising from her seat—for your precious eouI ' s sake , I hope not ; but I do think you ' re an athlst . I can't tell , I ' m sure , said Jem , not comprehending the conveyed reproach . I don ' t know ; but as for my soul , Miss Canary , —why , I try to keep it as clean aud take as good care of it as a soldier takes care of his gun , so that it may be always in fighting order against tbe enemy .

      # A Much Valued Friend Of Ours Writes To...

      # A much valued friend of ours writes to us as follows : _« The first number of Douglas Jerrotd ' s Magazine is a constellation of excellences , and you might as well try to select the brightest star from the Pleiades , as _topickfrom it one article better than another . 0 ! I am fond of Douglas Jebeold ! He reaches the heart by no circuitous route ; by no slang , no meaningless punning ; but grasps the heart of the sordid and the selfish firmly and forcibly , and squeezes charity out of it whether it will or no . I have been a reader of tbe JUmntnated Magazine ever since I read your first Christmas Garland ; so that you see it is to yon that I owe my acquaintace with this true-hearted writer . I shall look for the second number of bis _Magftaine with _mexpressible interest . " The writer of tbe above is a working man residing in an obscure village ,, in the _-Jforth of Ireland ; bnt working man though he be , he has more sense , aye , ana poetry too in his head , than threefourths of "the conceited fellows who wield the critic ' s rod , and assume the rule ofthe literary world .

      # A Much Valued Friend Of Ours Writes To...

      « Jif ; . _^ _^? _^ " _Shvrery , the only remedy for the miseries of the English poor , " is the best satire , ot the kind we ever remember to have scensince UKAXtswivi ¦ s scheme was propounded to relieve the poverty of the Irish people , by the rich eating the cluldren of the poor , as a substitute for sucking pigs . The writer of the article proclaims an aU-important truth , that "Liberty , without property , is but a phantasma . f his the Americans have discovered ; hence the discontent in that Republic , their Agrarian agitations , and anti-rent insurrections . The masses may be assured of this , that so long as property is exclusively bed by classes , those classes ' will be the veritable rulers and masters of societv , no matter what the : form of government . A Republican

      profitmonger is , of necessit y , as much a tyrant as a monarchical one . The only advantage of democracy is , that it invests the people—an immense advantage , il they have the sense to use it , with the power to conserve to themselves the fruits of their industry , thereby making- themselves property-holders , and , of a consequence , their own masters ; slaves to no men . . Peasants and Pheasants" is a title which sufi J en _! y bes eaks lts PurPort ; it is almost needless to add that the article is an admirable one . The Recollections of Hazlitt" are continued , and are exceedinglymteresting . " The Hedghog Letters" are every way worth y of the author of " Punch ' s Letters to his Son , " and "Punch ' s Complete Letter Writer . " krom the poetic contents we give the following : —

      THB DRUM . Yonder is a little drum Hanging on the wall , Dusty wreaths and tatterM flags Round about it fall . A Shepherd youth on Cheviot ' s bills Watch'd the sheep , whose skin A cunning workman wrought and gave The little drum its din . 0 pleasant are fair Cheviot ' s hills With velvet verdure spread , And pleasant 'tis amid its heath To make your summer bed . And sweet and clear are Cheviot ' s rills That trickle to its vales , - And balmily its tiny flowers Breathe on the passing gales .

      And thus hath felt the Shepherd-boy Whilst tending of his fold , Xor thought there was in aU the world A spot like Cheviot ' s wold . And so it was for many a day , But change with time will come , And he—( alas ! for bim tbe day l ) He heard the little drum . "FoHow , " said the drummer-boy , " Would you live in story ; ' For he who strikes a foeman down , " Wins a wreath of glory !" " Rub-a-dub and rub-a-dub , " The drummer beats away—The Shepherd let his bleating flock On Cheviot wUdly stray .

      On Egypt ' s arid waste of sand The Shepherd now is lying , Around him many a parching tongue Por water's faintly crying . 0 that he were on Cheviot's hills With velvet verdure spread , Or lying ' mid the blooming heath , Where oft he'd made his bed . Or could he drink of those sweet rills That trickle to the vales , Or breathe once more the balminess Of Cheviot ' s mountain gales .

      At length upon his wearied eyes The mists of slumber come , And he is in his home again—Till waken'd by the drum . " Take arms ! Take arms ! " his leader cries , " The bated foeman ' s nigh ;" Guns loudly roar—steel clanks on steel , And thousands fall to die . The Shepherd ' s blood makes red the sand , " Oh ! water—give me some ! My voice might reach a friendly ear , But for that little drum '"

      'Mid moaning men—' mid dying men , The drummer kept his way , Andfiiauy a one , by " glory" lured , Did curse the drum that day . ' _- ' Rub-a-dub and rub-a-dub , " The drummer beat aloud—The Shepherd died , and ere the mom Tbe hot sand was his shroud . And this is glory ! Yes ; and stiU Will man the tempter follow , Nor learn that glory , like its drum , Is but a sound and hollow .

      Cruikshank's Table Book—February. Succes...

      _CRUIKSHANK'S TABLE BOOK—February . Success and glory to the inimitable George and his clever editor ! The second number ofthe Table Book is excellent ; and will , we doubt not , work its way to the tables of a large number of the reading public . Unable to transfer to our columns the _iUustrations , we can give our readers but a veiy imperfect idea of the contents of this excellent antidote to the blue devils . We may , however , state that the literary matter is much superior to the preceding number , while the illustrations are all of the most mirth-inspiring description . The opening article on "Mesmerism " is particularly rich . Then we have " The Doomed One : a Tale ofthe Nineteenth Century ;" " Guy Greenhorn ' s Wanderings , " a capital imitation of Btrox ' s poetry ; The Stage Seaman ; " " Letters from a Freshman at Cambridge ; " "Alice Brompton , or The Lily of Park-lane , " a burlesque of the fashionable novel ; with several other good things . We give the following extracts , the first being a specimen of

      CLASSICS FOR THE MILLI 0 X . -Eneas , the son of Anchises and Venus , was a Trojan prince , and he behaved like a regular Trojan on several occasions . He was placed under the care of a nymph tin he was five years old , or in other words , put out to nurse ; but his education was completed under Chiron , who seems to have kept an academy for heroes , or , perhaps , an evening school for classical adults . He taught music , war , and medicine ; so that he was one of the sort of general practitioners whom Sir J . Graham ' s proposed bill would have licensed to kill or cure according to circumstances . After leaving school , . £ heas married Miss Creusa Priam , the daughter of old Priam , and had a son aud hen * named Ascanius . He fought well in the Trojan war , aud distinguished himself in a manner

      worthy of the fire brigade at the burning of Troy , carrying his old father pick-a-back out of tlie flames , with his son in bis hand , but , husband-like , leaving his wife to make the best of her way after him . Some say that he returned to hide her , for which others read Ida ; but Strabo makes him out a sort of Cubitt , who entered largely into building speculations , among which was the rebuilding of Troy , with all its streets and squares . But Virgil insists that he only made a passage into Italy . After some extensive travelling , he arrived with his father in Sicily , where the old gentleman died ; and the son , then going to sea again , was cast on the shores of Africa , where Dido set her cap' / or him with considerable earnestness . _iEneasgave her a good deal of encouragement , and had at one time serious intentions ; but tlie gods forbidding

      the banns , he absconded , to avoid the consequences , either by sea or land , for a breach of promise . Being again driven to Sicily , he consulted the Cumrean Sibylthe _MademoiseUe le Normant of those days—who took him to the Shades , where he met with the governor , Anchises , who told his son the fate that awaited him . iEneas seems to have been a rather extensive ship-owner ; for after having lost no less than thirteen , he arrived at the Tyber , where he received an invitation to spend a few weeks with latinus , the king , who promised him in marriage his daughter Lavina _, who was no relation to "the lovely young Laviua , " who , according to Thomson , " once had friends . " There seems to have been a misunderstanding about this young lady ' s hand ; for while her

      papa had offered it to iEneas , her mama had promised it to Turnus . To prevent any inconvenience , it was arranged tliat . Eneas and Turnus should "fight it out , " and the latter being killed , the former married Lavina , and built lavinium in honour of her , much on the same princip le as Queen Victoria caused the building of tbe Albert Gate , in honour of the prince-consort . . Eneas succeeeded his father-in-law on the Latin throne ; but continuing pugnacious , he was killed in abattle with the Etrurians , or as some say , he _feU into the river _Xumicus , when his armour being heavy , and none of the Humane Society being on the spot , be was unable to get out again [ and so " kicked the bucket" ] . OX A BLOCK OF ICE BnOUOHT _FKOM AMERICA WITHOUT MEU 15 G , _A"S » TLACBJ ) IS THE WVRDOW OF A SHO ?

      IN THE _STRAJiD . Ice placed within a shop or room Will turn to water , we presume , For 'tis a solvent all agree ; But here In-solvent ice we see . Yet though we cannot solve the iee , We solve the riddle in a trice . It comes from Pennsylvania ' s state , And therefore will not liquidate .

      The Illuminated Magazine. -Februart. Thi...

      THE ILLUMINATED _MAGAZINE . -Februart . This is a very superior number of the Illuminated , containing mnch worthy of praise , and but little demanding censure . " Travel and Talk , " by Luke Koden , contains some delightful sketches of continental scenes ; a short description of Genoa is particularly interesting . It appears , that in sp ite of its narrow streets , Genoa is a beautiful place—a city of palaces . : "There is one street entirely composed of houses as handsome as the Reform Club-house in Pall-mall , all built of white marble , and covered with sculpture . High upon the roofs , or on the wings and porticoes , are gardens full oforange-treeB , loaded with fruit , and roses and jessamines in blossom . The Queen ' s marble arch at Buckingham-palace "would cut but a poor figure at Genoa . They are buildiDg an immeiiBe range of arches , forming a covered arcade , with shops , the "whole length of the sea-front ; it is of admirable architecture , of unpolished white

      The Illuminated Magazine. -Februart. Thi...

      marble , fvith ' jnst thewi / irkof thechisel , ' and thetop istO'iorm a _splandid promenade , also paved with fine marble , ; affording the noblest views of the city , the moU _n _^ al " ' anutnc sca - The , town contains about 150 , 000 inhabitants , and looks as if it deserved to be the capital of a kingdom . " How humiliating that the holy alliance" of crowded brigands were permitted to hand over this splendid citv , * once a powerful republic , to the petty despot of Sardinia ! There is no writer in the Illuminated who so much enchants ns as the author of ' Travel and Talk , " possessing a benevolent heart , a highly-cultivated mind , and the power to clothe his thoughts in tlie choicest language . The productions of his pen are always looked forward to by us as a treat of no ordinary character . It ii with regret , therefore , that wc find ourselves

      compelled to express our decided dissent from tho political views of this clever writer . He belongs to the old school , and is , we fear , now too oTd to be made a convert to the new . A representative ofthe politiealfeeling of " Old England , " he of course cannot sympathise with " Young France , " " Young Switzerland , " " YoungItaly , " or YoungGermany . " flence his sneers at French Republicanism , and his opinion that the leaden Austrian despotism is good for Italy ! We have not before remarked on this defect in this otherwise most pleasing writer , but wc are compelled to do so this month , when we find him praising the Russian Government , and expressing a wish that the liberties of an independent people may be put down by military despotism . The gentleman who calls himself Luke Robes is proud that lie is an

      Englishman , and never misses a fair opportunity of exalting his own countrymen as the noblest race in the world—with one exception , "What exception thinkest thou , reader ? The Russians ! We have always considered the Jews setting themselves up as a " chosen race , " * as exhibiting most delectable vanity on their part ; but that this writer should place tlie Russians No . 1 in tbe list of nations , shows a taste on his part which is rather too absurd to allow us to keep a grave countenance . But he does not stop here ; he actually praises the Russian Government ! That Government is _NicnoiAS ; and when wc have pronounced that name , wehave in one word embodied a system of tyranny , rapacity , cruelty , espionage , —in short devilism , equalling in atrocity anything , however horrible , that ever cursed mankind under the semblance and name

      of " government . How disgusting it is to hear an Englishman talk of the " noble , forbearing , and magnanimous" conduct of Russia towards this countiy _, What ! has it come to this , that England must be grateful for Russian forbearance ? ' "Russian forbearance , " indeed ! The very words breathe ahellish mockery , Where _haslthis vaunted forbearance been shown ? To Poland , to Turkey , or to Cireassia ? Surely Luke _Rodex must have forgotten the very names of these countries . Wherever , by intrigue or by violence , Russia could push her barbarously ambitious designs , _shclias done so ; and has never scrupled at the commission of any atrocity to achieve her ends . " Hew down in masses ! " lias ever been the policy and action of the Russian

      Government wherever swords were crossed for freedom ; and forbearance and mercy , justice and ri ght , would seeni to be words having no meaning , no existence , in the Russian vocabulary * If Russia is slow to quarrel with England , it is because she has nothing to gain , but everything to lose , in a contest with this country . Nicholas ' s barbaric phalanxes maybe sufficiently powerful to crush a disunited people like thePoles , or a worn-out by-gone race like the Turks j but they must hot be arrayed against the legions of England or France . Neither nation heed cave a straw _foi'the " forbearance" of the " imnerial" savage . Moscow , it is true , was the grave ot Napoleon ' s power ; but it was Moscow itself ; and Moscow ' s clbne , and not Moscow ' s hordes , that saved the empire of the Czar from being trodden under the hoof of the Gallic

      conqueror . Let us not'bc misunderstood in these remarks . Wo have no sympathy with the Corsican traitor—for traitor he was to the principles of that revolution which hoisted him to power . Nor do we find fault with the resistance of tlie _Russiansto Na p oleon s invasion . A nation of slaves though they were , they did quite right in resisting to the death tlieir invaders . Our meaning in the above remarks is , that while repudiating the - disgraceful idea that England is indebted to Russian " forbearance , " England has no cause to fear the much-talked-of power of the Czar . That power is a delusion , wliich any attempt to re-enact on Western Europe the inundation of ji . - n . ii . il .. _it . _ . _1 _ 1 J u .- n 1 J _! 11 .. tne _vanuai wouiu

      tne - ototn , , ana sue nun , » igu < tiiy prove . The march to Moscow was not less fatal to France than would a march to Paris , or an expedition to the Thames , be to Russia . There would , however , be this difference ; that whereas the climate destroyed the cohorts of Fratiee , it would be the nations invaded who would accomplish the destruction of the Muscovite hordes . We _detestiall war ; and a war with Russia would be as much detested by us as a ' war with any other nation : but wc repeat ; Western Europe has nothing to fear from Russian ambition , and therefore do we repudiate the sill y language of Luke Roben—silly at least on this subject—and deny the indebtedness of England to Russian " forbearance . ..

      j Displeased with the democratic revolution in Geneva , Luke Roives takes occasion' to vent his spleen against the Genevese , and adds , " I am no friend to the extension of the power of France , but should certainly see with pleasure this contemptible caricature of a government put down by a regiment of French soldiers , and no longer suffered to annoy their gigantic neighbour by establishing a place of refuge for rogues , smugglers , swindlers , ana vagabond apostles oj ' sedition , " Tastes _^ differ . Luke Rodets admires nothing so much as despotism , provided it be a gigantic despotism , like that of Russia ; on the other hand , he detests nothing so much as a free state , especially if that state bo small . We happen to hold views directly the opposite of these . There is one excuse for him , if Dr . Wigan _' s theoiy ofthe " duality ofthe mind "—( Luke Roden _zvill be acquainted with Dr . Wigan )—is based on

      truth . It is easy to see that the two portions of the interior of his cranium arc constantly , or at least too often , at war with each other . Luke _Roden ' s '' good angel , " ov sane cerebrum , " prompts him to sympathise with the suffering and the wronged , and sets him searching prisons , madhouses , and other receptacles of human misery for objects of his sympathy * . on the other hand , his "bad angel , " or "insane cerebrum , " prompts him to laud despotism and declaim against the rig hts of man . Here wehave an example , we think , of the ti-uth ' of Dr . Wigan ' s theoiy , * for most certainly a perfectly sane man could not be guilty of such absurdities as is exhibited in such contradictory conduct . We fear it would be like sending coals to Newcastle to advise Lvke _Rooen to apply to -Dr . Wigan for medical advice ; but our oWn advice we may give . That advice is , to abandon politics , or else to study them more deeply than he has hitherto done .

      . " A little learning is a dangerous thing !" _: _Ll _3 KE Roden is onmost subjects a deli g htful writer ; but not on political matters . On political questions he is , in our opinion , totall y unfitted to address the mind of " Young England . " 'We are glad to . meet Mrs . Postajjs again . She has in this number contributed a pleasing article , entitled "iA little Gossip On the Olden Time . " We dissent from this lady ' s opinion on the drama . She thinks the drama is rapidly declining , and that its total extinction is not tar distant . This is one of the fallacies of this utilitarian age . Our own conviction is , _tliatless work and more leisure will yet be the order ofthe day'in England , and witli that better time will come an increase , an immense addition to the present number of the lovers of dramatic art . Hard toil and want of time and money greatly circumscribe the number of those who seek pleasure in dramatic entertainments ; biit surely

      " A brighter morn awaits the human day , " when all this will be reversed , or at least greatly changed for the better , and then the histrionic art will , it is ourjfirm faith , flourish as it has never done heretofore . ! " The Philosophy of Fudge" is a capital expose of the vices of our social system . " The Past , the Present , and the Possible , ' contains much curious and interesting matter . " The Adventures of a Scamp " are continued , and are not a little amusing . The poetry is this month superior to the average : we particularly notice " The Song of the Imprisoned Count , " " Throw not aside the Lyre , " " To an infant sigliing in its sleep , " and a poem , which promises to be of some length , entitled "Mirvan ; a Tale ofthe Moors of Grenada . " We close with the following extract from Mi * . Oarleton ' s tale , the continuation of which in this number is much more to our liking than the previous portions .

      THE INCENDIARY . What are you ? biquired one of the magistrates , with a very rosy round face , a very round stomach , very round blue eyes , and a carroty wig—once a citizen of London and a tallow-chandler , now a squire and dispenser of petty sessions law—what are you *? Nothing , replied the prisoner ; last thing I was , was one of the Blazers . What a horrid wretch , exclaimed half a dozen ofthe justices at once . That is , I mean , continued the fellow , I served as a waister in the Blazer man of war . And pray why did you leave the ship ? demanded the justice with the violet eyes . Because , d ' ye see , I deserted , was the reply .

      We understand you are desirous of being admitted evidence for the Crown touching the " burning of _Overslcy Court , observed the magistrate : to give up the names of your accomplices , and depose to the truth of your testimony on oath . Now do you know the solemn nature ' of that obligation * i Ease away handsomely , cried the sailor , and don't let your jawing tackle go with a run ; what's the yarn about ? . . His worship , observed tlie clerk with a slow voice and solemn visage , wishes to learn whether you know what ahoftthi 8 ? . _- ;¦ .. _- ¦ 1 Don't talk like that , said the waiBter , I should rather think . I . did . i Tell the court what is your notion of . an oath , returned the clerkywith great gravity : * . ' D—n your eyes , answered the late member of the Blazer . * * All the respectable people present

      The Illuminated Magazine. -Februart. Thi...

      were shocked ; a . few in fustian and wooden clogs laughed . Are you a Christian ? cried the bench , with one voice : horrible reprobate that you are—do you profess yourself a Christian 1 What should , make me , retorted the ruffian ; and his clenched fist rebounded from the iron bar at which he stood , like the sledge from the anvil—what should make me % —was I hornlike a Christian , or bredlikc a Christian , or used like a Christian ? The first 1 knew of life was in a coal pit , where I fared worse than abound—worked a thousand times harder than a brute of burden , and lodged as loathsomely as a viper . When I ran away from that and went to sea , did I ever hear my Maker ' s name except when some one swore hy it that he would have me up to the

      gratings ? When I deserted from my ship and _strovu to earn my bread by tlie sweat of my brow , did not men turn from mc in disgust because I was as naked and ignorant as I was sent into the world ? And now , do I not stand hero to be baited _likea wild beast , brought from a den more foul and forlorn than you would , keep a tiger in ? And , unless 1 do that wliich shall defile my manhood , will ye not hang me like a mangy cur ? And what brought me to tliis pass ? anything I could have done , or left undoneand ye ask me am I a Christian ? Suppose I tell you'I don't even understand what _thtvt rate means ; that I am ignorant of this right , which , like a post captain ' s commission , seems a privilege to ride rough-shod over all creation—what then ?

      Z §- Tlie Continuations Of Coningsby And...

      _Z _§ - Tlie continuations of Coningsby and the Chronicles of the Bastile , are , owing to the press oi matter , postponed till next week . Publications Received . —Tait ' s Edinburgh Magazine ; Wade ' s London Review ; Famil y Herald , Part 21 ; The Edinburgh Tales , Part 1 ; ' Evils Resulting from the Game Laws ; Speech of the Marquis of Nor manbv .

      A Bowl Of "Punch," Fresh Brewed.

      A BOWL OF "PUNCH , " FRESH BREWED .

      The Royal Speech. My Lords And Gentlemen...

      THE ROYAL SPEECH . My lords and gentlemen , again I meet ye , With _cordiaUty once more I greet ye ; Though I'd not have you work your brains to dizziness , Pray give your heads to the despatch of business . My dear aUies , my foreign allies , Are acting with policy pleasant and wise ; For some of them come To see me at home ; But this observation expressly applies To Louis-Philippe , * Who to Windsor ' s keep Came over , despite Auti-Anglican cries .

      Ah ! the appearance of our country ' s coffers , 0 ! A rieh theme for gratulation offers ; Our public purse we ' ve found the way to stock it , — "We ' ve got at last a surplus in our pocket ; 0 , may it never cause so much dissension As—0 ! another surplice I could mention . AU things wear a smile ; Commerce has been mending ; In our little isle All to good seems tending . Wages on tlie rise ; Lots of nrilk and honey : You'll not grudge supplies , — There's a glut of money . Chorus of Jftntberi . Toorallooval , loo , & c ., ic Poor there are , they say , Who endure hard rubbing ; But they ' ve found a way

      T o heal it by a scrubbing . Baths they mean to build Soon in every quarter ; Mouths will then be filled , If not with bread—with water . Chorus , Tooral looral , loo , & c , & c .

      The Absent One.—No One Can Possibly Have...

      The Absent One . —No one can possibly have forgotten the immortal advertisement , addressed to two illustrious letters of the alphabet , of his being "earnestly implored , if he woidd not return to his disconsolate family , to send back immediately the key of the tea-caddy . " Might not a similar one be addressed to Mr . Leader , drawn up in the following stylo ?— " Mr . John Leader , you are earnestly implored , if you will not come home to your misrepresented constituents , at all events to send back the representation of the city you have taken away with you . Please address to the Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds . "

      A London Golgotha. — Burial-Ground Incen...

      A London Golgotha . — Burial-ground Incendiarism . — " Spa-fields burial-ground was originally taken for a tea-garden ; the speculation failed , and a chapel was built upon it , in which _tsiawe _lwiftisters oi the Church of England preached . Tlie bishop refused to consecrate , audit was ultimately bought by Lady Huntingdon ; she inducted one of her chaplains , and it is now much frequented . The _burying-ground is very large , but absolutely saturated with dead . This place offers a difficult problem for solution ; no undertaker can explain it , excepting by a shrug of the shoulders . I can affirm , from frequent personal obseiwation , that enormous numbers of dead have been deposited here . " — Gatlierings from Grave Yards ;

      p . 1781 1839 . The secret is now disclosed , as will appear from the following facts . This ground is surrounded by houses , many of them tenanted by respectable individuals . On tlie right is a one-story erection , called a bone-house . For some montlis past the neighbouring inhabitants having observed flame and sparks issuhig from the chimney , entertained apprehensions that improper practices were in progress , and , on a recent occasion , called upon the enginekeeper ofthe parish for his assistance in extinguishing what they believed to be a fire . He demanded admission , but was refused and resisted by the gravedigger . Being determined , however , to execute his duty , he seized a crow-bar , and , having threatened to break in the door , it was opened , lie observed a

      great quantity of coffin wood piled round tlie room drying , a fire made entirely of coffins in the grate , and portions of human bones also . The enginekeeper particularly noticed the appearance of the chimney , and charged the grave-digger with having usedwatcrto extinguish the flame , which was denied ; and he was told that what he " thought was waterwas pitch ; " and this was the fact . Thick flakes of pitch were adhering to the inside ofthe chimney , thus giving palpable evidence of the material consumed , viz ., coffin wood , about 2 lbs . of pitch being used in " pitching" round the inner joints of an ordinary coffin . The inhabitants of Exmouth-strcet , Fletcherrow , Vineyard-gardens , and Northampton-row , in the immediate neighbourhood , have frequently

      complained of a tremendous stench of a peculiar kind , which they say proceeds from tlie burning of human remains and coffins . On a late occasion , when Walters , the engine-keeper , —an active , intelligent , and determined man , proceeded with the engine , on an alarm of fire in the bone-house , he was surrounded by a great crowd , composed chiefly of women , who declared that " the stencli was abominable , " and adjured him " for God ' s sake to do all he could to get rid of this . " Whcel-barrow loads of coffin wood have frequently been seen carried across the ground from an opposite building to the bone-house , and hot ashes conveyed from it in return and thrown into tlie graves . Tliis burial-ground does not contain more than two acres , which will receive and give decent burial to 2 , 122 adults . Spa-fields ground has been

      employed for interment upwards of fifty years . 1 he average yearly number may . be stated at 1 , 500 . There have been thirty-six burials in one day , but , strange to say , scarcel a human bone can be seen on tlie surface , it being the practice to have the ground raked and levelled every-Monday morning . How applicable to this Golgotha is the following extract from Dr . Adam Clark ' s Commentary on Luke vii . 12-15 : — "No burying-placcs should be tolerated within cities or towns , much less in or about churclies and chapels . Tliis custom is excessively injurious to the inhabitants , and especially to those who frequent _SublieWorship in such chapels and churches . God , ecency , and health forbid this shocking abomination . * * * * From long observation I can

      attest that churches and chapels situated in graveyards , and those especially within , whose walls the dead are interred , are perfectly unwholesome ; and many , by attending such p laces , are shortening their passage to the house appointed for tlie living . What increases the iniquity ot this abominable and deadly work is , that the burying grounds attached to many churches and chapels are made a source of private gain . The whole of this preposterous conduct is as indecorous and unhealthy as it is profane . Every man should know that the gas ivhick is disengaged from putrid flesh , and particularly from a human body , is not only unfriendly to , but destructive of , animal life . Superstition first introduced a practice which selfinterest and covetousness continue to maintain . "

      Leith . —Noble Conduct , —As the Custom House officers were on tlieir usual rounds , about ten o clock on Wednesday night , their attention was attracted by a violent p lunge in the dock ; on hastening-to . the spot they heard some one struggling in the water . It was very dark at the time , and the snow and ice made the edges ofthe quay veiy slippery and dangerous . Unfortunately , neither ropes nor lights were at hand , and the very anxiety to procure them ( assistance by boats being out ofthe question ) , and the helplessness ofthe drowning man , who had twice sunk for some moments , seemed to cut off all hope of saving him , and rendered the scene painfully exciting . At this moment , James Carnie , one of the Custom House boatmen , bravely leapt into the water and caught the

      unfortunate ' man in the act of sinking for the third , and in all likelihood the last time , and succeeded , after great exertion , in fastening a rope ( which was now procured ) roundhis waist , by whichhe was drawn up , and conveyed on boar , the Albion , from Ichaboe , to which vessel he belonged , where restoratives were applied which happily proved effective , although he iB still in a precarious state . Carnie was afterwards got but , although in a very chilly state , and was compelled to walk nearly a mile m his wet clothes , which were partially frozen when he reached his home . Such conduct deserves something more than the simple approbation of the , public ; such men do honour to the service they are m , and for sueh acts of humanity rewards , properly bestowed , wouldprovea powerful stimulus to further and , if possible , greater exertions . —Edinburgh -Advertiser ,

      Skfcbitt

      _SKfcBitt

      Curious Epitaphs. Tiik Following Epitaph...

      CURIOUS EPITAPHS . TiiK following epitaph ofa blacksmith is to be found in Gainford church-yard : — My sledge and hammer are declined , Mv bellows have quite lost tlieir wind , My fire ' s extinct , my f _ov-ro decayed , My vices in the dust arc hiin , ¦ My coal is spent , my iron ' s gone , My nails are drove , my work is done , My fire-dried corpse lies here at _ri'st , My soul ( smoke-like ) soared to he bli _* ' r . P . T >! TArH IN TWICKENHAM _ClIUlU'H-YAnP . Here lie f , Killed by a sky-Rocket in the eye . T . m . \ rn nv a widow ox her husbane . Thou wert too good to live on earth with me , And I not good enough to die with thee .

      EPITAPn ON * A TIPPLING LADY . Her clay beneath this marble lies , "WhOSQ SOUl W 0 trust ascends the skies ; She , doubtless , for her taste and merits , Is happy in the world of spirits . Modesty . —A gentleman advertises in a New York paper for board in a quiet genteel family , where there are two or three beautiful and accomplished young ladies , and where his society " will be deemed a sufficiency for board , lodging , washing , and other et ceteras . " The Jolly Trade of _I-Iuiini'c . —If a man wishes to enjoy himself for once ( says an old proverb ) , let him kill a fat fowl ; if for a year , let him take a wife ; but if he would live joyously all tlie days of his life , then let liim turn priest .

      The Evils of " _Sinol ? . Blessedsess . "—Poets have sung tlie praises of matrimony in many a sweet strain , that— Marriage , rightly understood , Is to the virtuous and the good A paradise below—To the fair sex especially the immortal Will himself thus addressed some wise suggestions , for he tells them that-Earthier , happier , is the rose distilled _. Than that , which withering on the virgin thorn , Grows , lives , and dies in single blessedness .

      Matters of fact , however— " great facts "—are , as proofsof any position , of more weight than all the worshippers of the nine ever wrote . The following matter of fact , therefore , is worthy of being universally made known , and stereotyped over the mantlepiece of every bachelor ' s dormitory in the wm ' Ud kingdom . The metropolitan commissioners of lunacy have lately procured and published , under the authority of Parliament , tabular returns of all the lunatics confined in asylums in Great Britain and Ireland , containing some interesting details not usuall y given in such papers . After one of the tabular returns appeal's the following paragraph : — " The first of these

      two tables is very interesting . Of the male patients , 15 in the 100 were married , 79 in the 100 , or about four-fifths , were single , and six widowers . But among males aged 18 and upwards , two-thirds are certainly in the married state , and it would appear that the tendency to insanity is ten times as great among bachelors as among married men . All the returns exhibit similar proportions . "—Now , it may be true that , according to the old song—Happy and free are a bachelor ' s revelries—Cheerily , merrily , passes his life ; Xothing knows he of connubial devilries , Troublesome children and clamorous wife :

      but , at the same time , if lie wishes to preserve the mens sana in corpore sano , the metropolitan commissioners of lunacy have clearly proved that he ought to eschew celibacy and get through matrimony ' s turnpike as quickly as ho can . Fulxess op Joy . —A gentleman observed to his wife thatshe was beautiful , dutiful , youthful , plentiful , and an armful . American Tombstone . — " Sacred to the remains of Jonathan Thompson , a pious Christian and an affectionate husband . His disconsolate widow continues to carry on the tripe-and-trotter business at tlie same place as before his bereavement . " How to Prevent " Fits . "—Bny a coat of Moaes and Son . —Punch .

      A Tedious Couhtsihp . —The Rev . John Brown , of Haddington , the well-known author ofthe self-interpreting Bible , was a man of singular bashfulness . In token of the truth of this statement I need only state that his courtship lasted seven years . Six years ' and a-half passed away , and the rev . gentleman had got no further forward than he had been tlie first six days . This state of things became intolerable ; a step in advance must be made , and Mr . Brown summoned all his courage for the deed . " Janet , " said he , as they satin solemn silence , " we ve been acquainted now for six years and mair , and I ' ve ne er gotten a kiss yet ; d ' ye think I may take one , mybonnie girll " " Just as you like , John , only be becoming and

      proper wi it . " " Surely , Janet , we'll ask a blessing . " The blessing was asked—the kiss was taken , and the worthy divine , perfectly overpowered with the blissful sensation , most rapturously exclaimed : — " 0 ! woman _, lint it is gude—we'll return thanks . " Six months made the pious couple man and wifo , and , added his descendant , who humorously told the talc , a happier couple never spent a long and useful life together . Ly the Pound . — "How much can you pay us ? What can you offer i _« the pound ? " demanded the importunate creditors ofa bankrupt farmer , " Alas ! gentlemen- " replied the ruined clodpole _, " all I really have is a donkey in the pound . ' "

      _Counrsnip . — A man , to be successful in love , should think only of liis mistress and himself . Rochefoucauld observes , that lovers are never tired of each other ' s company , because they are always talking of themselves . A Useful Horse . —A gentleman having a horse that started and broke his wife ' s neck , a neighbouring squire told him he wished to bny it for his wife , to ride upon . " No , " said the other , " I will not sell it , 1 intend to marry again my self . " ' " The Use of them may , and frequently docs , arise from an inability to pronounce the letter j * ; those who labour under this inability invariably substitute a w . Thus a lady told me at Cambridge that " Wichard had got some twacts which Mr . Carc-wus ( Carus ) had given liim , and he was to go to Twinity for some more . " Tlie line , " Around the rugged rocks , the ragged rascals run their rural race , " by such p ersons is pronounced , " Awound the wugged wocks the wagged wascals wun their wurc-wail wace . "

      WELL HATCHED . If Albert , for bis princely luck , . Is truly called " the Royal buck , " lie ' s matched right well , for , without fuss , He has a mate who'll doe for us , A Nation of Humbugs . —Everything for the million but the right . " Turtle for the million , " " Polka for the million , " is succeeded by "Blanc-mange for the million . " This must be cheering news for labourers who cannot procure bread , and also cheering to Ferrand , inasmuch as it goes to confirm his assertion , that England is become a nation of humbugs . Three _WoKnuns of Women . —First , at fifteen they wonder who they shall take . Second , at twenty-five they wonder they are not taken . And third , at thirtyfive they wonder who they can find that will take them .

      Old Generals are a very expensive commodity to any country that happens to be blessed with niauy of them . The late Sir Henry Grey was above sixty years in the service , all the time , of course , receiving pay from the country . Heroes ought not to be long-Uved , otherwise they are apt to absorb the people ' s resources to an alarming extent ; whereas , if they are cut off hi the . midst of their days , the saving is considerable , and the glory just the same . N . N . E . —The north-east winds have prevailed during , the greater part of the week . An asthmatic correspondent has expressed a fervent desire thatthe north-east wind should possess the property of the great American aloe—only to bloiv once in a hundred years ! _OitTiiocnArnY of Names . —An amusing example of the obscurity of our common mode of spelling was exhibited some years ago in a court of justice . A gentleman being in court , whose name the judge did

      not recognise , was requested to spell liis name ,, which ' he ran off very quickly in the following manner : — " O , double T , I , double U , E , double L , double "U , double O , D . " " 0—double—If you p lease sir , " said the judge , " will you have the goodness to repeat it ? " Again the gentleman rattled off his name as before— " 0 , double T , I , double U , E , double L . double U , double 0 , D . " "Double , double , double , " exclaimed the judge , we cannot make anything of it . Pray have the goodness to give us one letterat once . " The " gentleman repeated his riddle of a name , letter hy letter , and it produced the veritable name of Ottiwell Wood . —LFrom the Phonographic Star , an interesting monthly magazine , -done in lithographed Phonography . ] _^ Givi . _n-o _WAnaiso . —A gentleman , who did not live ' very happily with his wife , on the maid telling him that she was going to give her mistress warning , aR she kept scolding her from morning till night" Happy girl ! " said the master , "I wish I could givewarning too !"

      Eugene Sue has already commenced another novel , to be _| called the " Seven Cardinals Sins , " which is to appear when the " Jew" has ceased his wanderings . M . Sue gets the enormous sum of - £ 4 , 000 for a novel . A _TicKnsn Question . —When the Prince Bishop of Liege was riding to battle at the head of a fine body of troops , _| _, he was asked by a spectator , " How he , a a minister of religion , could engage in the iniquities of war ? " "I wage war " " replied the prelate , " inmv character of prince , not of archbish 6 p . ' >! VA nd pray , , continued the interrogator , " when the devil carries off the prince , what will become ofthe archbishop ?"

  • Citation
    • Northern Star (1837-1852), Feb. 8, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns4_08021845/page/3/