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Northern Star (1837-1852), 18th January 1845, Edition 3 of 4, Page 3, THE MEDICAL TIMES ALMANACK FOR ISiS. Thi...

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      Jxmjiss 18, 3845. The Northern Star. ^__...

      Jxmjiss 18 , 3845 . THE NORTHERN STAR . _^___________ 3

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      _S ?* d * 8

      Wttxe Fools And Cbeat Oses. St Cba&Les S...

      WTTXE FOOLS AND CBEAT OSES . ST _CBA & _LES _SUCEiT . When at the social board yon sit , and pass around the wine _. Remember , though abuse is vile , that use may be divine ¦ That Heaven , in kindness , gave the grape to cheer both great and small ; That little fcols will drink too much , but great ones not at an . _jnd when in youth ' s too fleeting hours , you roam the earth alone , _jbid have not sought some loving heart that yon may make your ownjjemember woman ' s priceless worth , and thiak when pleasures pall , That little fools will love too much , but great ones not at

      And U a friend deceived you once , absolve poor human kind , Uor rail against your fellow man with malice in your mind ; Bnt in your _daijy intercourse , remember , lest yon faB , ffh ailittfe fools' confide too much , but great ones not at all . In weal or woe , he trustful still , and in the deepest care Be hold and Tesolute , and shun the coward foe _^ despair ; _I _« _tTVork and hope go hand in hand , and know , whate ' er

      befall , That little fools may hope too much , but great ones not stall . In work or pleasure , love or drink , your rule he still the tame : _tfour work not toll , your pleasure pure , your love a steady flame ; Tour drink not maddening , bnt to cheer , so shall your joy not pall , For little fools enjoy too much , but great ones not at all .

      Otjk Home Axd Fatherland. Come, Fill You...

      OTJK HOME AXD _FATHERLAND . Come , fill your glass , and let it pass _. To hail the dawning year ; Come , drink with me ; my toast shall be—Our Albion ever dear . And wait a wee , we yet shall see Bright freedom take her stand ; And proudly brave , her banner ware O ' er hone and fatherland 2 O ' er home and _fatherlanrl ye brave , Our joyous pledge shall he . Hurrah 3 hurrah ! hurrah to those "Who dare for liberty ! - _* Tho * tyrant Idngs—those meaner things—The scum and scorn o * ear th , Seek to enslave the patriot brave : ' 'Tis bnt to try their worth . Thrice noble he , whoe ' er he be _^ _^ Vho firmly takes his stand ; And dares to fight , and boldly smite , For home and fatherland ! For home and fatherland , ke . To the good and true , the noble crew , _TKlio follow freedom ' s train ; "Who equal laws—the poor man ' s cause"Will ever dare maintain ; Who jeers and jibes , and threats and bribes , _Xor e ' en the tyrant ' s ban , WiU ever move to aught , save love For home and fatherland . ' For home and fatherland , Sic . Who steadfast hold , despite of gold , The equal rights of man , Shall honoured he , for ay , hy me , Despite of lyranfs ban . But ever spurn the craven worm , And scorn the dastard hand , Who slave would he , nor strike to free Our home and fatherland ! Our home and fatherland , ye brave ! _WcTl give it three times three . Hurrah I hurrah ! hurrah to those Who dare for liberty 2 AN _ESfGLTSHWOSTAK

      2$E&Te&£

      2 $ e & _te & _£

      Comxgsby; Or, The Isew Generation. By B....

      _COMXGSBY ; or , THE IsEW GENERATION . By B . D'Israeli , Esq ., M . P . London : Colburn , Great Marlborough _^ steet . ( Continued from the NorOtcrn Star of January 11 th . ) " 0 , for one hour of George Canning ! " exclaimed the Hon . George Sydney Smythe , atthe Manchester Athenaeum soiree ; and a similar wish would seem to lie cherished by flic author of Conih < jsZ > y , judging by his commendations ofthe defunct" statesman" (?) . Suck a wish coming from the lips of a young man like Mr . Smythe , who , notwithstanding his _acknowledged talents , is too young to know anything of the

      realities of G & nxing ' s statesmanship , is excusable . Mr . Smythe is , we fancy , pretty extensively read in the history of other countries , and is not unacquainted with that of his own relating to the events of by-gone times . But it is not often that young men think of studying the history of that period immediately ffrecedimr their own existence , or in which their childhood has heen passed . And this must be the case with Mr . Smythe ; otherwise he would never have indulged in the wish for thc return of Canning ' s statesmanship . Utter ignorance of the character of thc inan he so lavishly lauded can be his only excuse for so ridiculous a performance .

      But even this excuse cannot be advanced for Mr . DTsraelt . Though the head of " Young England , " Ac is old enough to' remember at least something of _Caxxtxg ' s doings . He had , too , thc advantage of imbibing instruction from that greatest of political teachers ofthe last fifty years , Wmxui Cobbett , which advantage his more youthful coadjutors have not had . With the facts of Caxxixg ' s statesmanship before liis eyes twenty years ago , and the lessons of tic " Monarch ofthe Press" criticising all that then occurred , we are at a loss how to frame , or admit of , an excuse for Mr . _D'Ishaeli when he joins in the chorus of homage to the memory of a man who was , in Ms day , the worst enemy of liberty—the bitterest _onnoncnt of the _progress of popular freedom .

      Mr . _TXIshaeij _andliisfriendshavevoluntarily come forward as the teachers , guides , and leaders of the Sew Generation . " They were notsolicited to take such a task upon themselves . They took to it , assuming to be better qualified for the labour than tie parties previously claiming the ear of the public . They denounce all otherparties—Whig , Tory , Radical , and Chartist . All else are wrong—themselves right . Br so , they at least should be as perfect in their historical and political knowledge as the parties they repudiate . If not , the public may fairly demur to the proposition to abandon their old " guides" for the leadership of the " new lights . " As regards _Caxxtxg and Cax > xvg ' s statesmanship , the Toung-Englanders are " all in the wrong . " If they arc ignorant of the deceased jester ' s political career , they are bnt sorry teachers when they praise such a man : and if not ignorant , they , with their

      ores open , identify themselves with his atrocious politics , and they array themselves against , instead of on , the side of thc people of England , whose relentless and unscrupulous enemy CAxxixg ever was . Facts shall prove the truth of our assertion . To begin at the beginning : while le _( Casskg ) was yet a young man , he commenced his political career by editing a newspaper , called thc Anti-Jacobin ( a paper fcepraised by the liberal Weekly Chronicle a few months back ); which newtpaper _itas set up and _supported by thepublic money ! As editor ofthe Anti-Jacobin , GixxrxG supported every measure of Prri and his gang , no matter how despotic , denouncing as foes of society ali who were opposed to Pitt ' s atrocities . He also , as a public writer and a member of Parliament , daringly defended every suspension of tie Habeas Corpus Act—every measure for fettering the press , and for inflicting the worst punishments on political offenders .

      Soon after he became a member of Parliament , he got himself a sinecure place , which he held to the day of Ms death , and for which sinecure placehe received £ 17 , 000 of the _pubiicnioncy . For thirty years he filled high and lucrative situations in the public servicer heing at one time Under Secretary of State ; at another , Paymaster of the Forces ; at another , Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs ; at another , President of the Board of Controul for India Affairs ; at another , Ambassador to Portugal ; at another , again Secretary of State for Foreign Afiairs : and lastly , First Lord of thc Treasury , and Chancellor of the Exchequer ; the emoluments of

      which offices would amount to not less than one hundred and twenty thousand pounds ! Add to this the " swag "he made by his ambassadorship to Portugal , and thesumtotal { irrespectiveofhissineeure ) will _oc not less than one hundred andffty thousand pounds I Besides which ie meanly put liis two sisters on tie pension list , instead of keeping them himself , who had for their share of thepublic plunder not less than tea -thousand pounds . And lastly , he had a son , called Wii . _tum Pitt Caxxixo , a naval officer , and consequently also a public plunderer : and all this plunder was wrung from the toil and robbed from the earnings of the people .

      As a Minister , this man involved , or aided to involve , his country in difficulties and miseries previously unexampled . Abroad he mainly contributed by his " insclting despatches to embroil this country with tie United States Government , thus causing the last American -war , - which ended -with the battle of _Xew Orleans , after disgraces , naval as well as military , most humiliating to the people of England ; not forgetting the addition of seventy millions sterling to the debt caused bv that war . And in Spain , Portugal , and South America , tic most _distressing cvils , both to thc inhabitants of those countries and the people of tins , were the fruits ( mainly ) of his incompetence . At home , he defended the corruption _"the House of Commons : denouncing the Reforniers as " a low degraded crew , " and their _enueav _oure to reform that iouse " a Democratical _enfwchmmt , " which he adiured the precious members to _tnaic a stand against ' . " In 1817 , he impudently _aetcndi-dthe «« _Power-of-MprisonmentBills" brought

      Comxgsby; Or, The Isew Generation. By B....

      in by _SrostocTH and _Casiijim ! agh , which authorised Ministers to seize any man that they might suspect of treasonable practices : to take him , without produc ing any evidence against huh—without letting him _feiiow his accuser or telling him of any particular act that he was accused of—to send him , without any commitment stating the precise nature of his offence , to any gaol , in any part of the kingdom—to keep him in a solitary dungeon , without the use of pen , ink , or paper , and cut off from all eommunieation with wife , parents , children , or friends . In 1818 , when Eome of these unfortunate men had found the means of petitioning the Parliament , and of representing the sufferings of their bodies and the anguish of their mmds , this Canxikg turned their complaints into

      jest , and particularly the complaint of a most worthv and aged man of Manchester , who had been iotallv ruined in his business , and who complained of a dis " - order brought upon iim by tie violence of those who had seized him and imprisoned him , and whose truly-horrifying statement he answered bv a jest , in which he termed the petitioner "the REVERED AND RUPTURED OGDEN ; " thereby , as the newspaper report of tie debate stated , exciting in the house "a loud and general roar of laughter ?' In 1819 , he defended , more daringly than any other man , the conduct of the infernal Manchester magistrates , and Manchester yeomanry , for their butchery of the people at Peterloo . In thc same year he supported , and defended the accursed Six Acts , which were intended for the total extinguishment of every vestige of freedom in "this country . In 1820 , he openly defended the emplovment of Spies , and particularly the emplovingof the hellish

      miscreant Edwakos , the entrapper of poor Thistlewood and his fellows . In 1816 , 1819 , 1822 , 1 S 24 , and 1826 , he was guilty of the most fooluh , if not the most wicked of doings , in Ms tamperings ( in conjunction with Peel and others ) with the currency , by which thousands were reduced to beggary , and from the evil effects of which the nation up to this hour has not recovered .. In denouncing and waging war against the Press , he declared he would "extinguish the accursed torch of discord for ever . " And lastly , when he had achieved the summit of his ambition , and become Prime Minister of England , supported by a crew of recreant Whigs and apostate politicians , he concluded his infamous career by making ike following insolent declaration on the 4 th of May , 1827—uithin a few _iveehs of his death— " I will oppose _PAnLiAMEKTAnv Reform , in _whayever shape xt may appear , 10 the last _uocr of mt ltfe is this House !"

      Suei , Messrs . D'Ishaeli and Smythe , were the doings , —but too briefly sketched , —of your model statesman . ' "What we have charged to his account are factij and " Facts are chiels that _ninna ding , An' downa be disputed . " Last week we thanked the author of Coningsby for unveiling the atrocities of the _SmMOurns and Castlereaghs : but justice demands that their participant in crime , Caxning , should share the infamy attached to their names . Besides , however unthankful may be the task of disturbing the " _nEVEUEO axd ruptured" ashes of the heartless jester , it is due to tho people that we do not allow Mb . D'Iskaeli and his friends to impose on them , under the cover of a generous sentimentality—the infernal policy of _Caxxtxg . It may be , as we have above intimated , tie Young _Englandcrs may know no better ; but if they arc so green , it does not follow that we should allow them to mislead the " _27 ew Generation . " ( To be continued . )

      Simmonds' Colonial Magazine. January. Wi...

      _SIMMONDS' COLONIAL MAGAZINE . January . With the commencement of a new year we have the commencement of a new volume of this useful and entertaining publication . The present number contains nothing demanding comment , beyond the mere fact that its contents are generally acceptable . The principal articles are on "The Agriculture of Hindostan ; " "Australia : Past , Present , and Future ; " " A Journal of a Voyage to Port Phillip ;" " The Climate of North America ; " " Condition and Prospects of Van Dieman ' s Land ; " "New Brunswick , " & c . There are also lighter articles , which will be found not devoid of attraction . From "Our Note Book" we extract a wonderful account of an elk hunt in the United States , in the year 1818 . The hunters

      were rivals—John Dougherty , a Kentuckian , who is still alive and residing in Clay countv , Missouri ; and a half-breed , called Mai Bceuf ( Bad Beef ) . They were stationed at one of the ports of the Missouri Fur Company ; their business was to provide venison for the company ' s servants . Card-playing on the day previous to the run—at which the half-breed had been defeated—excited more than usual rivalry in the breasts of the two runners . A herd of elk were discovered ; when , instead of _killinffthcm with their guns , the half-breed challenged the Kentuckian to run down the elk and kill them with their knives The challenge was accepted , their guns were hung in a tree , and raising the Indian yell to frighten the animals , the run commenced .

      Off they went across a low prairie a few miles in width , leaving their pursuers far behind ; but steadily the latter continued their pace nevertheless . They reached the blult—ascended—crossed —descended—one resolve uppermost in their minds , " never to say fail . " Lsagueafter league the chase and the race continued—the men panting like hounds , cooling their _nioutli 3 in crossing- an occasional "branch" hy throwing up th _3 water with their palms , hut still unpausing , until , approaching Elk Horn river , a distance of twenty miles , hy mutual agreement they toot a circuit with an increase of speed , got ahead of the elk , and actually prevented them from crossing , Leaguos and leagues , upon a new track , the chase continued , the animals hv this time so exhausted hy heat _.

      thirst , and , above all , fright , —for the hunters had incessantly sent forth their yells , in this esse as much a scream of mutual defiance as an artifice of the chase , —that they scarcely esceed « A their pursuers in speed ; the latter , foaming and maddened with excitement , redoubled their efforts , until the elk , reaching a prairie pound , or " sink , " thc hunters at their heels , plunged despairingly in , lay down , and abandoned themselves , heedless of aU else , to the gratification of their thirst . The frantic rivals , knife in hand , dashed in after their prey , began the work of slaughter , paused not until they had butchered sixteen , dragged them from thewater , aud cut up andprcpared the meat for transportation to the fort , vfliithcr they had to return for horses . Had the race ended ! No ! Por

      victory or death was the toward determination , and as yet neither had given way . Off dashed again the indomitable half-breed , and at his side the unyielding Kentuckian . Rise and hollow , stream and timber—no yelling now—in desperate silence were left behind . The sun was sinking —blind , staggering , on they went—they reached the fort , haggard , wild , and voiceless , as from the _firesfof the savage , the " gauntlet" of fiends . A crowd gathered round the exhausted men , -who had arrived together , and now lay fainting , still side by side , a long time before they were enabled , by signs and whispers , to tell that they had run down sixteen elk , and yet couldn't say which was the best man This feat brought upon D an affection of the lungs , nor did he recover his strength for several years . He is stfll alive , a quiet and influential citizen . Mai Breuf became very dissipated , and died in a short time . Ourinformant tells us that he has made an examination of the country forming their race-track himself , and that they , without exaggeration , must have run seventy-five miles _between the hours of eight a . m . and seven p . m .

      We learn from an article on the islands in Bass ' s Straits ( near Van Dieman's Land ) , that the last remnant ofthe aborigines of Van Dieman ' s Land are located on one of these , called Flinder ' s Island . The race is rapidly approaching extinction , as they now number but about fifty ; and though well provided for , and composed of equal numbers of both sexes , —not a single birth has occurred for three or four years . This is attributed to their pining for Van Dieman's Land , the home of their birth .

      Colburn's New Monthly Magazine. Jasuakt:...

      _COLBURN'S NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE . _Jasuakt : It is unnecessary to trouble onr readers with comment on this popular magazine : its name alone heing an introduction all-sufficient . From "Sketches of Zurbano and Arivancta , by onewhoknew them both , " wc take the _following highly-interesting account of Zurbano and his son : —Tie litter , our readers will be aware , _Avas lately brutally murdered hy order ofthe butcher _xVarvaez ; the former still lives , and is in dl | probability destined to punish the fiendish murderer of bis children . Zuhbaxo is no favourite of ours , for io is no democrat ; on the contrary , he has been —as the tool of Espartero—the persecutor of democrats ; still , with all liis faults , we cannot but wish him Bafe from the snares of his remorseless enemy Nar vaez ; not omitting to add to that wish , that the opportunity may yet be afforded to him of avenging himself and liis country on the person of that prince of assassins , for whom a day of retribution is surely coming .

      ZUBBASO AND HIS SON . To judge from his ( Zurbano ' s ) appearance _( 183 G ) , he was about forty-five years of age , perhaps rather more , hut in activity and strength I should say he was full ten years younger , I have rarely seen a man who gave me more the idea of one capable of undergoing great fatigue and hardship . He was rather shortin stature , about five feet seven inches , I think ; but being somewhat roundshouldered , he appeared less than that . In person he was spare , no superfluous flesh about him , but an abundance of bone and sinew . The prevailing character of his face , which was much tanned and weatherheaten , was one of indomitable resolution . His eyes , which were grey and deep set , overhung by bushy and projecting brows ,

      had a quick , intelligent expression , and at times , when lie was not in any way excited , almost a thoughtful one , but when roused—in action , for instance—they gleamed fiercely . His lips were thin and usually compressed , and certain lines about the mouth gave rather a cruel expression to his face , but his smUe was frank , and by no means disagreeable . He wore no beard , save a soldier's whisker to the bottom of the ear . His usual , I may say his invariable , costume , consisted of a- sumara , or loose jacket of black sheepskin , a scarlet boina , or Basque cap , such as the CarHsts wore , with a large _etarlike gold _tessel spreading over the top , blue or red overalls , heavy boots , and long , jingling , Spanish spurs . His neck was usually bare ; his gloves must have been a

      Colburn's New Monthly Magazine. Jasuakt:...

      very trifling expense to him ; his cavalry sabre was slung to a belt of common black leather . He had a most unbounded contempt for what he seemed to consider • the fopperies of uniform , and always preferred the unmilitary , but by no means _unpicturesque , dress above described—probably the very same he had worn when a _contrabandisla . Subsequentl y to this , when he had attained far greater celebrity than at the time I speak of , and had ascended step by step , and in spite of jealousy and disfavour , to the command of a brigade , it was intimated to him by the general of the division to which he belonged , that it was desirable he should conform to the regulations ofthe service , and appear upon parade in tho uniform of his rank . 1 had left Spain befor * that period , but I have since had described to me , what 1 can well imagine , thc ludicrous annoyance and discomfiture

      of Zurbano , at being compelled to abandon his usual neglige garb , and don the cocked-hat and feather , and the tightly-buttoned coat , with cuffs and collar stiffened by embroidery , of a Spanish general's costume . The son of Zurbano was as remarkable in his way as his father . When I first saw him , he was not sixteen years old , puny and diminutive for his age , with a little , pale , sickly-looking face , very red lips , large dark eyes , and voice like a woman in a passion , always upon the scream , now it wa 3 that so delicate-looking an urchin managed to support the hardships of a guerilla life , I cannot _explain ; but I suppose it was his pluck and energy that carried him through . Girt with a sword nearly as long as himself , carrying a light lance , and perched upon a tall horse that would have made a good charger for a man of twelve stone weight , he used to gallop about at the head of his father ' s

      cavalry , then consisting of some five and twenty badly equipped and mounted lancers , chiefly deserters from the Carlists . ne was already a cornet in the Spanish service , and not sharing his father ' s contempt for _drCSs , he used to come out on fnto days , and other grand occasions , in a most dapper uniform , with a broad silver band down the side of his overalls , a closely fitting green jacket , and foraging cap of fanciful device . At such times he put me in mind of one of the smartly painted wooden soldiers , used as toys for children—not that he by any means played at soldiering—it was right down earnest with him ; and one of his father ' s officers assured me , that young Zurbano had already diminished the numbers of Don Carlos's army , by no less than eleven men . If this be true , I do not suppose he had slain them all in single combat—probably the majority were fugitives that he had

      overtaken and killed—hut nevertheless , he was skilful in the use of his weapons and management of his horse , and possessedmore muscular strength than his delicate appearance indicated . He was a bloodthirsty young imp . _Irecollect one day , after a skirmish , we had driven the Carlists out of a village in Alava , and I found myself pursuing a fellow who was scampering in great haste across a field . I was close to him , when up came Zurbano , _sweating most lustily , in his squealing tones , his lance down , and preparing to g ive the poor devil his quietus , by means of a vigorous "front point . " I was just in time to turn his lance aside , and then I thought he would have made a poke at me , he seemed so bent on sticking somebody . I _prevaHed upon him , however , to spare the unlucky Carlist , and he took him back as a prisoner , driving him before him , and occasionally stimulating his progress bv

      a prick with his lance point . Young Martin , as they used to call him , tliough his name was Benito , was nominally iu command of his father ' s cavalry ; hut as he would inevitably have led them to destruction had tliev been left entirely to his guidance , he had adjoined to him as a mentor one Mecolaldi _, a very smart , gallant fellow , who subsequently lost his arm in action . It would be difficult to name any officer or partisan who did so much real damage to the enemy , and was so uniformly successful in his undertaking , as Zurbano , d _u ring the whole period of the Carlist struggle . He united all the qualities essential to success in a war-of that description ; great personal bravery and presence of mind , a knowledge of the country in which he acted , and considerable skill in obtaining information and devising stratagems . The Carlists , who dreaded him more

      than any other Christino chief , never considered themselves safe while he was within twenty or thirty leagues of them . He would accomplish forced marches of a length that appeared almost fabulous ; and in an extraordinary short time fall upon and exterminate some detachment of the enemy , capture a valuable convoy , or kidnap an officer of rank . # # * He was very careless of the honours which Spanish military men usually prize ; refused decorations that were offered to him , and never wore the galones , or lace stripes upon the coat cuff , that mark the rank of field-officers in Spain . The terror with which Zurbano Inspired the Carlists was only to be equalled by . ' their detestation of him . " El infame Barea , " as they used to call him , would have met but skimp measure of mercy had he fallen into their hands . * . * # To a man of Zurbano ' s impetuous character and active habits , illness was ofcourse a dreaded calamity . Once at Vittoria he had an attack of a painful malady , and while it lasted I went two or three times to see him . He was obliged to keep

      his bed , and used to lie cursing and swearing " at no allowance , " and grindiug his teeth , not so much with the suffering he endured , as with impatience at being compelled to remain idle , instead of mounting his horse , and sallying forth aperseguir los faceioses . I do not think he was ever comfortable except when he was rampaging about the country with his little band of desperadoes , seeking whom he mi g ht devour . liis " A ellos . '" or "At them !" when he caught a _viciv of the Carlists , was as hearty and as inspiriting- as the sound of a trumpet . And off he would go , always the first , spurring his Andalusian , and waving his heavy sabre , while the Carlists would sing out , " Demonio ! Barea ! " and run like mad . lie was always eager to get to close quarters—always for a charge in preference to the long short work which some of tho Spanish are so fond of . He used to get off his horse , put himself at the head of his infantry , and dash up to the assault of a parapet or position without wasting a cartridge . He got his share of wounds , but exposing himself as he did , it is wonderful he lasted the war out .

      The O'Donoghue ; A Tale Of Ireland Fifty...

      THE _O'DONOGHUE ; a Tale of Ireland Fifty Years Ago , By _Haruy Lorrequer . No . I . Orr and Co . This new work of Mr . Lever ' s promises to rival the best of its predecessors . Thc author ' s description of the valley of Glenfleck is truly and beautifully poetical ; and there is no lack of " that humour which illumines all Mr . Lever ' s previous productions . We have no room this week for comment or lengthy extracts , but must confine ourselves to the two following tit bits : —¦

      a shebeen housewife's ideas OF IMPROVEMENT . "And what ' s bringing them here at all ! " said Mrs . JI'Kclly , with a voice of some asperity ; for she foresaw no pleasant future in the fact of a resident great man , who would not be likely to give any encouragement to the branch of traffic her principal customers followed . "Sorrow one of me knows , " was the safe reply of the individual addressed , who not being prepared with any view of the matter , save that founded on the great benefit to the couutry , preferred this answer to a more decisive one . " 'Tis to improve the property , they say , " interposed the other , who was not equally endowed with caution . "To look after the estate himself he has come . "

      " Improve , indeed ! " echoed the hostess . " Much we want their improving ! Why didn't they leave us the ould families of the country ? It ' s little we used to hear of improving , when I was a child . God be good to us . —There was ould Miles O'Donoghue , the present man ' s fattier , I'd like to see what he'd say , if they talked , to him about improvement . Aych ! sure I mind the time a hogshead of claret didn ' t do the fortnight . My father , rest his soul , used to go up to the house every Monday morning for orders ; and ye'd see a string of cars foUowing him at the same time , with tay , and sugar , and wine , and brandy , and oranges , and lemons . Them was the raal improvements !" " 'Tis true for ye , ma ' am . It was a fine house , I always _hcerdten . "

      " Forty-six in the kitchen , besides about fourteen colleens aud gossoons about the place ; the best of enthertainment up stairs and down . " "Musha ! that was grand . " " A keg of spirits , with a spigot , in the servants' hall , and no saying by your leave , ¦ but drink while ye could stand over it . " " The Lord be good to us ! " piously ejaculated tho twain . " The hams was boiled in sherry wine . " " Begorra , I wish I was a pig them times . " "And a pike daren't come up to table without an elegant pudding in his belly that cost five pounds !" " 'Tis the fish has their own luck always , " was the profound meditation at this piece of good fortune .

      1 _BISH WAT OF lUISIXG THE WIND . It was a little after Christmas last year that Mr . Malachi thought he'd go up to Dublin for a month or six weeks with the young ladies , just to show them , by way of ; for ye see , there ' s no dealing at aU down heye ; and he thought he'd bring them up , and see what could be done . Musha ! but they ' re the hard stock to get rid of ! and somehow they don ' t improve by holding them over . And as there was levees , and drawing-rooms , and balls going on , sure it would go hard , but he'd get off a pair of them anvhow . Well , it was an elegant scheme , if there was xnonev to do it ; but devil a farthiu' was to be hud , high or low , beyond seventy pounds I gave for the two carriage horses and the yearlings that was out in the field , and sure that wouldn't do at all . He tried the tenants for

      "the November , " but what-was the use of it , though he offered a receipt in _fiOl for ten _shihings in the _^ pound ?—when a lucky thought struck him . Troth , and it's what yo may call a grand thought too . He was walking about before the door , thinking and ruminating how to raise the money , when he sees the sheep grazing on the lawn fornint him ; notthathecouldscU one ofthem , for there wasastrap of a bond or mortgage on them a year before . " _Faix , ' and says he , " when a man's hard up for cash , he ' s often obliged to wear a mighty threadbare coat , and go cold enough in the winter season—and sure it ' s reason , sheep isn't better than Christians : and begorra , " says he , " I'll

      have the fleece off ye , if tho weather was twice as COWlfl . " No sooner said than done . They -were ordered into the haggard-yard the same evening , and , as 6 ure as ye ' re there , they cut the wool off them three days after Christmas . Musha ! but it was a pitiful sight to . see them turned out shivering and shaking , with the snow on the ground . And it didn't thrive with him ; for three died the first night . Well , ' when he seen what come of it , he had them all brought in again , and they gathered all the spare clothes and the ould rags in the house together , and dressed them up , at least thc ones that were worst ; and such a set of craytures never was seen . One had an old petticoat on ; another a flannel waistcoat ; many could

      The O'Donoghue ; A Tale Of Ireland Fifty...

      only get . a cravat or a pair of gaiters -, but the ram beat all , for he was dressed in a pair of corduroy " breeches , and Tin ould spencer of the master ' s ; and may I never live / if 1 didn't roll down full length on the grass when I seen him .

      The Edinburgh Tales. Conducted By Mn. Jo...

      THE EDINBURGH TALES . Conducted by Mn . Johnstone , 'fait , Edinburgh . Mrs . Johnstone is well known in the literary world _nsrthe author o f Clan-Albyn , Elizabeth de Bruce , Knights of the Round Table , and some of the best tales and articles in Tait ' s Edinburgh Magazine . . Several ofthe metropolitan critics ol high standing have warmly lauded the productions of her pen : anything , therefore , designed for "the million , " by so talented a writer , must command attention . Judging by the first number of these Edinburgh Tales , the title appears a misnomer , as the scene of the commencement of these Tales is laid in London ; but the title is a matter of but little hnnortance . These 'talcs commence with " Thc Experiences of Richard Taylor , Esq ., " whose portrait we will at once introduce to our readers : —

      " THE GENTLEMAN WITH THE UMBBELLA . " There must be many persons in London , particularly in the busy neighbourhood extending from St . Paul ' s Church _, yard to Charing-Cross _, perfectly familiar with Mr . Richard Taylor . His burrow , or central point , was in some lane , small street , or alley , between Arundel-street and Surreystairs , whence he daily revolved in an orbit of which no man could trace the eccentricity . Its extremities seemed to be Gray ' s Inn on the north , the Obelisk on the south , the London Docks on the vulgar side , and Hyde Park Corner on thc point of gentility . It was next to impossible , any day from eleven till two o ' clock , between the years 1 S 15 and 1832 , to walk from Pail-Mall to St . Paul ' s

      without once , if not oftener , encounteriag " The Gentleman with the _UmbreUa . " There he emerged from Chancery-lane , and here he popped upon you from Tcmplel-ane ; you saw him glide down Norfolk-street , or lost sight of him all at once about Drury-lane ; or beheld him . holding on briskly , but without effort , along thc Strand , till , about Charing-cross , he suddenly disappeared to start upon you , like a Will o' the Wisp , in some unexpected corner . Now was he seen in the Chancery Court — now sauntering towards Billingsgate Market now at the Stock Exchange , and again at thc Bow-street office . He might , in . the same hour , be seen at the hustings in Palace-yard , and hovering on the outskirts of one of Orator Hunt ' s meetings , as far off as Spafields ; at a reasonable hour , in the gallery of the House of Commons , and next in Mr . Edward Irving's Chapel .

      The British Museum divided his favour with the great butcher markets , and with the picture and book auctions , which he regularly frequented . The best idea may be formed ofthe movements of Mr . Richard Taylor from the different notions formed of his character and calling . For tiie first five years of his sojourning in london many eon . jeetures were formed concerning this " Gentleman about town , " or " The Gentleman with the Umbrella ; " by which descriptive appellation he camo to be pretty generally known among the shopmen and clerks along his line oi quick-march . His costume and appearance , strange as the association seems , was half-military , half-Moravian . By many he was set down as areporter for the daily prints —vulgarly a penny-a-liner ; a calling universally sneered at by those whose figments and marvels are paid from twopence a line upwards . His frequent attendance at

      the police offices , and in tho courts of law , favoured this conjecture , as well as his occasional appearance at places of public amusement . A sagacious tradesman in Cockspur-street , a reformer , who had beeninvolvcd in " thc troubles" of the times of Hardy and Home Tooke , set him down as a half-pay officer , now a spy of the nome Office . A tavern-keeper in Fleet-street , who had seen liim at the Bow-street Ortice voluntarily step forward to interpret for a poor Polish Jew , against whom law was going hard from ignorance of tho Cockney dialect of | the English language , affirmed that he was a Polish refugee _, llut he had also been heard to interpret for an itinerant weather-glass seller from the Lake of Como , in a similar scrape ; and for a Turkish seaman who , having first been robbed , was next to be sent to prison for not consenting to be twice robbed—of his time and his moneyin prosecuting the thief . _Thcso things rather told in his favour . One day the editor of a well-known liberal paper was seen to stop " The Gentleman with thc Umbrella , " and carry him into a great bookseller ' s shop ;

      and on another he was discovered in a hackney coach with some benevolent Quakers from America , who had been looking on thc seamy side of civilization in _Newgate . Here was corroboration of good character . Of "The Gentleman with thc Umbrella , " we may tell farther , that his sister-in-law , Mrs . James Taylor , the wife of the rich solicitor in Brunswick-square , affectionately named him among her friends , " our excellent and unfortunate brother , Mr . Richard ; " her husband familavly , " our poor Dick : " a young Templar , studying German , quaintly called him " Mephistophiles ; " and Mary Anue Moir , his god-daughter , emphatically , " Tlie Good Genius . " For tho interesting particulars of the life of the " Gentleman with the Umbrella , " and also the commencement of his " experiences" under thc title oi " Young Mrs . Roberts , Three Christmas Dinners , " we must refer our readers to the work itself . Tho prico of thc Tales , sixteen pages octavo , neatly printed , is but three halfpence ; the work is therefore within the reach of all classes .

      The Prestonian Plan. Wilkinson And Co., ...

      THE PRESTONIAN PLAN . Wilkinson and Co ., Tysoe-strcet , Spafields . This is a pamphlet by Thomas _Pmssiox , a veteran Radical , who for upwards of half a century has been known in the political world , the steady advocate oi those changes which , yet unaccomplished , are nevertheless nearing the hour of their advent . Thomas Pheston is now an old man ; and probably weary ol thc strife for political reforms , would fain , ere he departs , see the social results ho has aimed at achieved hy other means ; political reform being in the meantime unattainable . The object is a good one ; and v man whose whole life testifies to his sincerity deserves to have his views listened to , however Utopian they may seem to some , or impracticable they may appear to others .

      -Mr . Preston entitles his scheme a " Plan for renovating the public prosperity , insuring advantageous employment to all industrious persons of both sexes ; the comfortable maintenance-of thc aged , tho sick , thc orphan , and the widow ; the increase of agriculture and trade ; tlio education of thc young ; __ the abrogation of all poor-rates , taxes , and the national debt ; and the gradual resumption ofthe lands of the United Kingdom , as the inalienable property of the nation , without iivjury _' to a single individual . " Such is the ample list of contents set forth on tho title page . As we cannot afford room to discuss tho important points therein mooted , we decline stating our objections to the scheme , unaccompanied by the reasons on which those objections are founded . The work , is of that nature that _no-ovtotationcoulddoit

      justice . : The whole must be read to understand and appreciate thc views ofthe author . Though dissenting from the plan , we , nevertheless , would recommend its perusal by tho Chartist body . As it may be considered the legacy of a veteran Reformer , who has at least tried to " leave the world better than he "found it , " it may fairly claim tho consideration of the "New Generation . ' Besides , it strikes us that , was there among the Chartists a return to that healthy system of discussion , which was one of the prime features of Chartism at the commencement of the agitation , it would be well for the progress of the movement . Single-hearted , quietthinking , but plain out-spoken men , then communed together ; and if there was less of studied rhetoric , there was more of energetic action . The lecturing

      system has failed to achieve the expectations originally entertained of it . A lecturer lectures in ono town , and has a meeting to listen to him ; but ten miles off there is no lecturer , and therefore there is no meeting . It was not so in the days of 1837-8 . Then men met , whether they had lecturers , or not ; and the topics of the day formed subjects for thc homely eloquence of those , who , if they know nothing of rhetoric , knew , at any rate , how to call a spade , a spade . There is another evil of the lecturing system . Used to be tickled with the clever speeches of a variety of lecturers , the public ear palls at the efforts of—it may be not extra-eloquent—local orators . Men grow nice , and a " good speech" is the thing most in demand . If this be not supplied , apathy takes the place of action . " ; We object not to the present lecturers : we

      would that there were more of them ; but we would not have the movement depend wholly on their exertions . We would be glad to see a revival of the discussion system , when sueh works as the one under notice might be questioned and analysed . The _subjectsinooted by Mr . Preston are ofthe most vital interest to mankind : let his scheme of remedies therefore be investigated . If proved erroneous , better remedies may suggest themselves to the minds of the investigators . .. As we apprehend Mr . Preston will find more _diffr ciilty than ho seems to anticipate in the forming oi an association to carry out his views , we would suggest to him the propriety of sending his plan to associations already in existence , For instance , Prince Albert is the head of an association of some

      sortwe forget what—for "the improvement of the dwellings of the labouring classes . " The Prince would be a conyert worth catching .: Again , there is a society for the "Protection of Native Industry , " patronised , wo belicvo , by some of the peerage and squirearchy : let the plan be laid before them . Again , Sir . James Ghaham , as the head of the Home Department , is supposed to be the " guardian genius" ofthe people's welfare ; he should , therefore , be acquainted with Mr . PijESTON ' g plan . A former Home Secretary , the saintly Sidmouth , ' was much addicted to prying into the supposed plans of . Mr . Piibsto . v and his compatriots ; we would have Sir _JUmes follow this example . Mr . Preston ' s pamphlet will be more fitting emplovment for Ids prying propensities than Mr . Mazzru _' s letters .

      Tite Value Of Biography In The Formation...

      TITE VALUE OF BIOGRAPHY IN THE FORMATION OF INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER , _InLusTHATED-by _inE Life ANn Whitings of C . R . _Peubebtoh . By fj . J . Holyoake . —Watson , Paul ' salley , Paternoster-row . A pleasing subject , pleasingly and profitably discoursed of . All that tends to make thc character of _Pemberton known and appreciated , is of no small service to the cause of human progress . Mr . Watson has therefore done well in publishing this little tract .

      Tite Value Of Biography In The Formation...

      THE MOVEMENT . Vol . I . —G . J . Holtoake , 40 , ¦ -- . - _Holywell-street , Strand . . ..... The first volume of . this opponent of priestcraft , and champion of frecdisciission _, is completed , ana - will make a very handsome addition to the library ot the free-thinker . It will do more ; it will add to his stock of intellectual weapons with wluch to fight the battle for truth and freedom against the feinds of superstition and tyranny . The following is an extract from the preface : — It will he fresh in the recollection of our subscribers , how the local authorities , and the Attorney Generals of England and Scotland sought to suppress the Oracle of Reason . Thoy were determined it should not be published , hut its conductors thought differently . It is true the editors went into prison—but then their work came out—and for once ( the cases are solitary ) right l " affied might . At-the commencement of the Movement ( it being

      pledged to tread in the Oracle ' s steps ) it was said that prosecutions of a more effective character would be renewed . But as the simple idea of perfect duty excludes that of fear , ivo issued our weekly number with the same nonchalance that we took our _^ breakfast . It seemed so natural to express honest opinions , that in what way it could bo wrong we could not conceive , and integrity appeared so useful that we would not . Thus we have no merit to claim , and no apologies to make—we hare not written from bravado , hut from simplicity , and we have known no policy hut that of not knowing expediency . A few copies of tho first volume , neatly bound , are , we _understand , to be had of the publisher . We may remind those disposed to support the Movement , that the new volume commenced on the 1 st inst ., and affords a favourable opportunity for them to commence their patronage .

      The Medical Times Almanack For Isis. Thi...

      THE MEDICAL TIMES ALMANACK FOR _ISiS . This useful annual addition to the Medical Times contains , besides the usual matter of an almanack , directions for gardening operations for each month , law charges , allowances , < _fce . ; list of fire insurance and life assurance companies ; all the State , Church , aud colonial officers ; public exhibitions ; a number of useful recipes ; and an immense mass of information connected with the medical profession . ,,

      The Gazette Of Variety. Paw X.~ Cleave, ...

      THE GAZETTE OF VARIETY . Paw X . ~ Cleave , Shoe-lane , Fleet-street . An excellent collection of original and selected articles , comprising __ history , biography , romance , travel , & c . We notice some excellent ' things from the pen of Hood in the present part . We had cut out a specimen of the contents for reprint , but cannot find room .

      A Bowl Of "Pvncit," Ffesh Brewed

      A BOWL OF "PVNCIT , " FFESH BREWED

      Mie Racree'o - Song. Houseiess, Famish D...

      MIE rACrEE ' _o - SONG . Houseiess , famish d , desp ' ratc man , A ragged wretch am I ! And how , and when , and where I can , I feed , and lodge , and lie . And I must to tho Workhouse go , Tf bettor may not be ; Ay , if , indeed ! Tho Workhouse ! No!—The Gaol—the Gaol for me . There shaU I get the larger crust , The warmer house-room there ; And choose a prison sinco I must , I'll choose it for its faro . The Dog will snatch the biggest bone , So much the wiser ho : Call me a Dog;—the name I'll own : — The Gaol—the Gaol for me .

      What , masters , am I not a Round ! Have I a soul like you ?—¦ You'd treat me better , I'll bo hound , If ye beliov'd it true . The Pauper than the very Thief You use in worse degree ; Keep to _yourselves , then , vour relief : — The Gaol—the Gaol for me . The Felon ' s dress is soft to feci As that which shames the Poor ; Thc Convict eats as good a meal , But gets a little more . Pauper and Thief are much the same , For aught that I can Bee : Well , then ; what matter for the name ?—The Gaol—the Gaol for me .

      Players Is Palaces. People Know That The...

      PLAYERS IS PALACES . People know that the French , as a nation , admire and patronise fine actors ; and yet , from some strange perversity , there is a large party in France who can see nothing to value in Louis Philippe . This is wrong . With thc very highest opinion of thc genius of French players , it is our conviction that the finest actor in France sits , or rather holds , on thc throne of that country . A short story in the Algerie supplies another illustration of this truth . ___ Our readers arc probably aware that several Arab chiefs cam eover to France , realty to grace the triumph of General Bugeaud—ostensibly to receive the blessings of French civilization . A few days since , these Arabs were introduced to thc King and royal family . The Algerie , with delicious gravity , gives the following account of the comedy , in which Louis l hilippe was tho principal actor . ' His first speech ran as follows _;—

      " I am happy to sco you round me—you who have fought under the eyes of my children . " And thereby obtained a portion of my parental love "I thank God for having chosen France amongst all other nations to replace in Algeria the ancient rulers of the Arab population . " This is the old thanksgiving with which conquerors have , for ages , blasphemed Heaven . They invade a country ; shed torrents " of blood ; burn and p illage ; enact every atrocity that can sink men to devils , and then—with the tint of carnage on their hands and plunder in their pockets—thank God for having chosen them to do the work of fiends !

      I will endeavour to render the bonds of my rule light . I am desirous that you should regard us as friends sent to _youfy / Providence , _hatoer than as conquerors . A somewhat difficult task this , for tho Arabs to regard murder , fire , androbbcrjr , as the inconveniences brought upon them by Providence , —and in no way whatever attributable to thc restless rapacity , thc love of mountebank glory , demonstrated by the French nation ! " Regard us ' as friends , " says the King , " rather than as conquerors . " Imagine a Dick Turpin , after ho had cased a traveller of his watch and purse , and had , moreover , levelled him in a ditch with the butt-end of his pistol—imagine the highwayman coolly observing tothe prostrate sufferer , "Regard me as a friend sent to you by Providence , rather than as a conqueror !" The royal comedian continues—I will maintain your customs and your religion ; I will repair your mosques , and rc-cstabliah youv schools .

      Wherefore , then , should Providence have sent French bayonets to Algeria , _H " only to support the Mahometan faith ? As—according to Louis Philippe—Heaven has " chosen France" to rule in Algeria , can it lie only to give a new strength to Islamism ? Will the King of the French make a better Mussulman than thc Emperor of Morocco ? Well—we cannot answer . To this , however , the principal Arab chief replied , saying—Since we were to be conquered , we are proud to have the French for our masters , and to belong to so powerful and generous a nation . Thc same delicacy of sentiment has been expressed , in anticipation , by George Dolman : — "Eels might be proud to lose their coat ,

      And this , up to the present time , is tho last oomedv , farce , or burlesque—whatever the philosophy ofthe reader may deem it—enacted at tho Tuileries .

      If skinned hy Moi . lt Dumpling ' s hand t " Since we were to be flayed—says the comic Chief ,, for a fine comedian he must be—what a proud thing for Algeria , that France had the skinning of her ! The words that have dropped from the greatest throne in Europe will fall on the heads of our brethren of Algeria like a refreshing sliower . This is as it should be ; though we fear , let thc shower be as refreshing as it may , it will hardly remedy the mischief , hardly cure thc " agony , inflicted by former showers from tho same regal elevation—we mean thc showers of bullets ' . At the dinner , we'learn that the King " served the Arabs with Ms own hand . " Just as , in Algeria , the French army served Arab men , women , and children , with their man _Jiands ; only , unfortunately ,- they had muskets or sabres in them .

      Homage To Rar, Prreasanis.^-It Must Be G...

      Homage to rar , PrrEASANis . _^ -It must be gratifying to all lovers of game , and therefore true patriots —seeing _howveiyintimatclytlievenerableinstitutions of the country are connected with the rigorous conservation of pheasants , hares , and partridges—to learn that the magistrates of Hampshire—of that county , made immortal by its hogs—have determined to enlarge the present gaols , or to build new 0110 S , in order to accommodate the increasing number of is

      poachers every day committed lor trial , mere a benighted place in the East—we know not whether the tact has even-cached the trembling ears of Exeter Hall—where hospitals are raised for tho preservation , and in honour of , the filthiest vermin . Now , England , who yearns to send her bibles to all such darkened places , does not erect temples to the glorification of loathsome insects : O , no ! she is civilized , actively humanising : she is the wonder and the envy of surrounding nations , and therefore she builds prisons for the preservation of nothing less than hares , _oartridges , and pheasants I

      Praron on Chess . — The following question has been sent to us , no douht by mistake . If you have a check , what ought you to do with your pawn ? _Though it is somewhat ontof our way , wo will give the best answer we can to this question . If you have a check and thc amount is sufficient , release your pawn at once . Our correspondent , however , hud better apply to some respectable pawnbroker .

      Erct M&.

      _erct m _& .

      A Phbtiy Thought.—A Coquette Is A Rose F...

      A Phbtiy Thought . —A coquette is a rose fronT which every lover plucks a-leaf—tho thorns are roserved for her future husband . , Moral Axiom . —What a beautiful thing is a row oheek ! How great the contrast when the blush settles to the nose!— Great Gun . ¦ ¦ ,-Yankee Descriptive . —A Yankee , speaking of a ' thunder shower , said , "The shy was black and dreary , murky and ominous clouds drove furiously from the west , and in fifteen minutes it rained like everlasting hooky . " THRASHING a GnosT !—At _Handsworth , near _BirA mingham , a " ghost" has been so severely beaten by half-a-dozen sceptics , who were lying in wait for hini , ' that he is now laid up in a hospital . Cure for a Cold . —The following prescription haa been taken from an old black letter-book , a . _d . 1403 ; We print it for the benefit of those medical antiquarians who are fond of tracing the progress of medicine : —

      _Tutt your feette in h otte water , As highe as your thighes , "Wrappe your hcade up in flannelle , As lowe ns your cyees . Take a quart of rum'd gruclle _. When in hedde , as a close . With a number four dippe —Punch . Well tnllowe your nose . Deoradatiox of a _Yakkee . —The " native " bora son of a naturalised Irish citizen of New York , having been soundly flogged by his father , wont whimpering to his native companions— " It is not for the licking I care , but to be struck by one of them cussed foreigners—that ' s what I'm mad at I "

      Hours of Rest . —Archbishop Williams used to sleep only three hours out of thc four-and-twenty . Sewell and Cross ' s young man , when he went halfprice to thc plav , and wound up at the Ciiler-ccllars , returning to take down thc shutters -at eight in tha morning , never slept at all ; so that on such occasions as those he beat the Archbishop hollow . "We Fly by _NicnT . "—An unfortunate landlord , on going round to collect his rents , sent his servant forward to prepare the tenant for his visit On reaching thc house and finding his servant taking _ a survey , and apparently endeavouring to gain admittance , "What ' s the matter ? " said ho ; "is thc door bolted ? " " No , master , " was thc reply , " but the lodger is ?"—Great Gun .

      The Advantage of being Intellioirle . —During the French war , two Scotchwomen , on their way to church , were conversing about thc success of the British arms ; when tho one remarked to the other , that she believed one chief reason of their success was , that our soldiers always prayed to Heaven for assistance before engaging in battle . Her companion re plied— " But could not thc French soldiers likewise pray ? " "Touts ! " interrupted the other , "h \ ethor ' m' bodies I wha could _mulei'slaml them V A New Feature i . v Sir J . Graham's Medicai Reform . —Everybody knows that , since ho has been in office , the Secretary for thc Home Department has greatly increased the number of " read letter days " atthe establishment in St . Martin ' _8-le-Graiul ; buti everybody does not know that Sir James Graham , in furtherance of his notions on the subject of medical reform , now submits every epistle in the "Deadletter Office , " to a rigid post mortem examination . — Great Gun .

      Why ' s . —Why is the Polka like India ale ? Because there arc so many hops in it . —When is the music of a party most like a ship in distress ? When it sets the pumps a going . —Why is Alderman Salomons a great luminary ? Because he has eclipsed the Moon . Characteristic—With a jest General Sir C . Napier , the conqueror of Scinde , is wont to win the soldiers' hearts ; thus , when some insolent and silly young men persisted , insubordinatcly , to ride violently through the camp and thc bazaars , causing frequent accidents , he issued the following order , bringing ridicule aud fear at once to bear on the offenders . " Gentlemen as well as beggars , if they _, _'iko , may vine to

      the Devil when they get . oh _horsc-iuu-k ; but . neither gentlemen nor beggars have a right to n , mil " ofhci people to the _Devifj which will be the ' case if furious - r iding bo allowed iu the bazaar . The Major-general has placed a detachment ofhovsc at the disposal of Captain Pope , who will arrest offenders mid punish them , as far as the regulations permit . And Captain Pope is not empowered to let any one escape punishment , because , when orders have been repeated and are not obeyed , it is time to enforce tliem ; without obedience any army becomes a mob , raid a cantonment a bear garden ; thc enforcement of obedience is like physic—not agreeable , but neccssaiy . "

      Ax Americas DEScmriiox or a _Tketotatxek . —I once travelled through all thc state of Maine with one of them ere chaps . lie was as thin as a whippin post . His skin looked like a Mown bladder alter some of the air has leaked out , kinder wrinkled and rumpled like , and his cyo as dim as a lamp that's livin on a short allowance of ilc . lie put me in mind of a pair of kitchen tongs , all legs , shaft , and head , and no belly ; real gander-gutted looking crittnr , . is hollow as a bamboo walking-eanc , and twice as yallcr . He looked actually as if he had 'been picked off a rack at sea , and dragged through a gimlet-hole . He was a lawyer . Thinks I , the Lord a massy on your clients , you hungry , half-starved _looldng evittur you ,

      you'll eat ' em up alive . You are just the chap to strain at a gnat and swallow a camel , tank , shank , and flank , all at a gulp . HOW TO TEI . I , THE DAY OF THE WEEK . —Itillg ftp the cook to bring up the joint . If it is rather low cut , you may infer that it is Wednesday or Thursday ; if it ' is reduced to a state of hash , you may be certain it is Friday or Saturday . There can be no mistake about thc Sunday , if the joint is produced smoking hot and entire , and followed up by a pie or a pudding . Another good plan is to refer to thc state of your finances . Gold will toll you that it is just the beginning ,- silver that it must be about thc middle ; and coppers _. that you certainly have arrived at the terminus of thc week . —Punch .

      Tom _Dinnix ' s Pu . wvi . vg . —Tom , on one occasion , being a steward of the Drury Lane Theatrical Fund dinner , arrived very late on a miserable looking nag , whose appearance called forth some remarks and merriment from those at the windows . " Gentlemen , " said he , on entering the room , "you mustn't judge of anything by its looks . That ' s thojpony that plays thc marble horse in Giovanni in _hm-. lon , and can get as much applause as any of you—' tis the celebrated horse _Graphy . " " Graphy ! that ' s a strange name for a horse , ' Dibdin , " said some one . '' Most appropriate , though , " said the punster ; " when I made up my mind to buy a horse , I said , ' I ' ll _U-o-gmphy , when I mounted him I was _top-o-graph : . when I wanted him to canter I say gc-o-gmphy , and when I wish him to stand _stdl , and he won't , T say , ' But you _au-to-gmphif , ' . _Mid therefore I think Graphy is a very proper name . "

      _Tcrxixg Water into Wine—Miss Martmeau , in one of her letters in the Athencsuni , treats of " Mesmerised water . " She says , J ( a young girl ) , " being offered refreshment , chose some -mesmerised water , a glass of which was on thc tabic , propared for me ( Miss M . ) . It seemed to cxhihrate her , and she expressed great relish of the " refreshment . It struck us that we would try , another _cvming whether her mesmerist ' s will could affect her sense of taste . In her absence , we agreed that the water should be silently willed to be sherry the next night . To make thc experiment as clear as possible , the water was first offered to her , and a little of it drunk as water . Then the rest was , while still in te hands , silently willed to be sherry . She drank it oft—half a tumbler full — declared it very good ; but . nresentlv . that it made her tipsy . What was it »

      " Wine—white wine . " And she became exceedingly merry ' and voluble , but refused to rise from her chair , or dance anv more , or go down stairs M' She could not walk steady , and should fall and spoil her face , and moreover frighten them all below . Ihe Great Gun observes—This power of being able to " will" one liquid into another is most worthy of cultivation . We should like to carry it out with regard to our own Cope , at fifteen shillings a dozen , and " will" it into four guinea Madeira . ; Wc suppose this" would be practicable . The old saying teaches us that " where there ' s a will there ' s a way ; " and , without doubt , our " will" would lead to the war . We would get very luxurious in our living . We would " will" penny ginger-beer into champagne ; humble swipes int o Burton ale ; and spring-water into tho finest Johannisberg . Every pump should become a Rhenish vineyard ! .

      A Soulless Man . —Out West , a . slump orator , wishing to describe his opponent as-a soulless man , said : — " I have heard some persons hold to the opinion , that just atthe precise moment nfterone being dies , another is horn ; and that thc soul enters and animates Ita new-born name . Now I have made particular and extensive inquiries concern ing my opponent thar , and 1 find that for some time previous to lus nativity nobody died . Fellow citizens , you may draw thc inference . " A _Tuielv _Hepahmb . —A soldier of Marshal Saw ' s army being discovered in a theft , was condemned to bo hanged . What he had stolen might be worth five shillings . The Marshal meeting him as he was being led to execution , said to him— "What a miserable fool you were to risk your life for five shillings ! _ " General , " replied the soldier , "I have risked it everv day for five pence . " This repartee saved hit life . '

      A Yankee Poet thus describes tho excess of his devotion to liis truo love ;—"I sing her praise in poetry ; For her at morn aud we , I cries whole pints of bitter tears , And « ij _>«« them off with my sleeve . " Books _axo Newspapers . —In criticising a book , you arc at liberty to remark upon -. cveiy page . In criticising a newspaper vou must look to its general tone and character . An author may write only when thc spirit moves him . An editor must write whether the spirit move him or not .

  • Citation
    • Northern Star (1837-1852), Jan. 18, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns3_18011845/page/3/