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Northern Star (1837-1852), 8th November 1845, Edition 3 of 4, Page 3, THE CONNOISSEUR: A Monthlv Recohd op thb...

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    • -Potfr g*
    • 3Ubjetak ^
    • THE ANDOVER UNION. . Anooveu, Monoay, Nov. 3.
    • Mit Mm. -_,__.-._. ._—VwWV-^*-V^ V-_*W^W*^^- *^' -'k^>^' W%A ' /W
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      Ttotbmbbb 8, 1845. The Northern Star. 3

      _ttoTBMBBB 8 , 1845 . THE NORTHERN STAR . 3

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      - ***" Beauties Of Byron. So. Xviii. "Cb...

      - _*** _" BEAUTIES OF BYRON . so . XVIII . " _CBD-PE _HA-WID . " _^ 01 l 3 & om , _-neei notbe tohate _^ _manMnd _: in aw notfit with them to stir and toil , _^ X _itdiscon tentto keep the mind _« _l , initsfoimtain , lestitover-boa _" \ Lhot throng ; where we become the spoil nf onr infection , till too late and long Z s " _^ deplore « nd struggle with the con , Vfe » " ¦> _J- — _-. _nliontrt . nf vmmtr -finn _tt-t _^ t .-. chedin terchange of wrong for

      - _"" _^ wrong _rist a contentious world , striving where none are stron g _, -rwp in a moment , we may plunge our years SSl > i tence , and in the blight rtf onr own soul , mm aU our blood to tears , ir _, a colour things to come with hues of Night ; Th » race of We * oecomes a hopeless flight -r those that walk in darkness : on the sea , _iL _hoiaeststeerbut where there ports invite , _Sft « e are _^ naerer ? o ' er Eternity wk drives on and on , and anchor _* d ne ' er shafl whose _c _37 _*

      T . _Jtaotbetter , then , to be alone , La lave earth only for its earthly sake ! Bv ihe bine rushing ofthe arrowy Rhone , _^ t hepnrebason ofits nursing lake , Wliich feedsit as a mother who doth make » feir bnt firoward _iufaut her own care . _jisdng its cries away as these awake _;—Isit notbetterthus our lives to wear , ' jj . _^ join the crashing crowd , doom'd to inflict on bear ! 1 fire not _inmysfilf , but I become Por tion of thataround me ; and to me _jjglj mountains are afeeling , but the hum nf human cities torture : I can see

      - _ j tliuig to loatbe in nature , save to be _i link relnetantina fleshly chain , Class'd among creatures , when the soul can flee , _inS with the sky , the peak , the heaving plain pf ocean , or the stars , mingle , and not in vain . loi dms I am absofb'd and this is life : Hook npon the peopled desert pas _^ is on a place of agony and strife , where , for some sin , to sorrow I was cast , Jo act and suffer , but remount at last _-jjrjth a -fresh pinion j which I fed to spring , Thoug h young , yet waking vigorous , as the blast winch it would cope with , on delighted wing , _jpgnung the day-cold bonds" which round onr being cling .

      And when at length , _themind shall be all free _Jrom what it hates in tliis degraded form , Reft of its carnal life save what shall be Existent happier in the fly and worm , — When elements to elements conform , And dust is as it should be , shall I not Peel all I see , less dazzling , bnt more warm ; The bodiless thought ! The Spirit of each spot ? Cf which , even now , I share at times the immortal lot ! Are not the mountains , waves , and sides , a part Of me and of my soul , as I of them I Je not fhe love of these days in my heart _Wjth a pure passion I Should I not contemn AU objects if compared with these ? and stem A tide of suffering , rather than forgo Such feeling for tbe hard and worldly phlegm Of those whose eyes are only turn'd below , _Ca-jugupon the ground , with thoughts which dare not glow ?

      BOUBSEAU . Here the self-torturing sophist , wild Rousseau , The apostle of affliction , he who threw Enchantment over passion , and from woe Wrung overwhelming eloquence , first drew Tbe breath which made him wretched ; yet he knew How to make madness " beautiful , and cast O'er erring deeds and thoughts a heavenly hue Cf words like sunbeams , dazzling as they past lhe _ejes , winch o ' er them shed tears feelingly and fast , His love was passion ' s essence—as a tree On fire by lightning ; with ethei-al flame Kindled he was , and blasted ; for to be Thus , and enamonr'd were in him the same . But liis was not the love of living dame _.

      Nor of the dead who -rise upon our dreams , Bat of ideal beauty , which became In him existence , and o ' erflowing teems Along Ins burning page , _distemperM though it seems _. This breathed itself to life in Julie , this Invested her with all thats wild and sweet ; Thishallow 'd , too , the memorablekiss Which every morn bis fever _* d lip would greet , Prom hers , who but with friendship his would meet ; But to that gentle touch , tlirough brain and breast Plash'd the thrilled spirits love devouring heat ; In tbat absorbing sigh perchance more blest Than vulgar minds may be with all tbey seek possest , His life was one long war with self-sought foes , On friends by him self-banish'd ; for his mind . Had grown supicion ' s sanctuary , and chose

      Tor its own cruel sacrifice the kind , - 'Gainst whom he raged with fury strange and blind . Bnt he was phrensied , —wherefore , who may know I Since cause might be which skill could never find ; Bathe was phrensied by disease or woe ToiM worst pitch of all , which wears a reasoning shew . Tor then he was inspired , and from bim came As from the Pythian ' s mystic cave of yore , Those oracles which set the world on flame , Hor ceased to burn till kingdoms were no more : Did he sot fhittor Prance ? wliich lay before Bow * d to tbe inborn tyranny of years I Broken and trembling to the yoke she bore , TiU by tbe voice of him and his compeers , _Honsecl np to too much wrath , which follows o _' ergrown fears I

      They made themselves a fearful monument ! The wreck of old opinions—tilings which grew , Breathed from the breath of time ; the veil they rent , And what behind it lay , all earth shall view . But good with iU they also overthrew , Leaving but ruins , wherewith to rebuild "Upon the same foundation , and renew Dungeons and thrones , which the same bonr _refiU'd , As heretofore because ambition was self-wiU'd . But this wiU not endure , nor be endured 1 _llankina have felt their strength , ana made itie-lt . Ihey might have used it better , bnt , aBured By their new -vigour , sternly have they dealt On one another ; pity ceased to melt "With her once natural charities . Bnt they "Who in oppression ' s darkness caved have dwelt , They were not eagle ' s , _nourish'd with the day 5 What marvel then at times , if they mistook their prey !

      3ubjetak ^

      3 _Ubjetak _^

      The Purgatory Of Suicides. A Pbisoji Hht...

      THE PURGATORY OF SUICIDES . A _Pbisoji Hhtme ej Tex Books . By Thomas Cooper , the Chartist . London : J . How . 132 , _Ileet-street .

      ( _GmtinuedfromtheStarofNov . 1 st . ) The "Ninth Book" is Mef , consisting of but some fifty stanzas . Tie characters who figure therein ar e exdusrrelyfemale , —Porcia , Abbia , the wife of Aedrubal , the Carthaginian , _Sophbonia , and Babuxa , the Jewess . The " Book" opens with a prison scene , in which a woman , with an infant child , comes to bid farewell to her " felon" husband . _^ Tis Woman ' s voice!—woman in wailful grief , Joined by her babe's scarce conscious sympathy . — Thy wife hath come to take her farewell _briefc Gaunt felon!—brief and bitter must it be Tor thy babe ' s mother—since the wide salt sea ilust _roU , for life , its deep , dark _gulph between Thee , convict—and that form of agony ! Poor wretched thing 1 well may she wail , I ween

      And wring her hands , and wish that she had never been "Xet me have one last Hss of my poor babe 1 " He saith , and clingeth to the grate . Oh 1 how The tun _ key _* s answer wiB his bosom stab !—• "Away!—we open not the bars I "—and , lo ! They push him rnddy back!—he may not know "What baleful bliss it gives , to clasp a child Or wife , ere one must yield them to life ' s woe . Ah ! little had that kiss Ids grief beguiled"Bnt , rather , filled liis soul with after-throes more wild . She fainteth!—yet awakes to moan _andjweep !—How little didst thou think that smiling morn Thou didst , so early and so eager , peep ; ___ ntq thy mirror , and thy breast adorn "With virgin rase—so soon the sorrow-thorn "Would there have pierced !—that thon , in two short ¦

      years , "Wooldst see thy husband in that dress of scorn—And turn—a widowed bride—a thing of tears—. from that stern grate , forlorn , to meet the world' s rude - " " jeers ! Poor sufferer ! how wilt thou the future brook !—To drudge from morn to eve _forbtggar's bread;—To hear thy ragged child receive rebuke Tor bis ore's sons—that on the exile ' s head Already fill faU sore ;—to see him shed Tears whenbe asks for food , and thou hast none To stop hiB hunger - —then , to make thy bed With , -turn npon the heath or moorland lone—Unlets , for infamy , thon tak ' st the rich man ' s boon !

      Tfbat misery—hadst thon never been a bride—Thy heart had shunned!—Yet , thon wilt fondly cling "Unto the memoiy of thy love—nor chide , " _Efnby a thought , in deepest suffering , His error , who did thy young joy-bloom bring To desolation ! IU requited love Was thine , ev ' n from the bridai-reTdlingyet , thou forgavest all , nor didst _reprore lhe wild excess which oft thee nigh to madness drove , — - Yery beautiful is the foUowing apostrophe to _traaaa : — ~ Qb woman ! how fb j truest worth is slighted _;—jhj tenderness how often met with hate : — Thy fondest purest hopes how often blighted : — How _Tfy" _, the tyrant , lords it o'er thy fate , Yet feigns for thy benign behest to wait _;—2 ow jealously he guards tby faithfulness , _& iia forms a censure on tby every state—Thy chastity terns coldness , —thy caress _WeakfocKng ; stratagem , or grosser love ' s exceM !

      The Purgatory Of Suicides. A Pbisoji Hht...

      Oh , woman ! fairest , frailest , sweetest flour Of Nature ' s garden , what rude storms thee bend ! Thy heart—thou priceless , peerless , matchless dower Of Nature ' s treasury—what sufferings rend ! How meanly men , through selfishness , contend To pamper thee—how silkenly their lays Of loTe they lisp to gain their gnilty end ; How sensually man lauds thy beauty ' s blaze ;—How heartlessly deserts thee in its dimmer days ; . Oh , woman ! what anxieties destroy The bliss thou dreamest none can take away , "When hushing thy soft care , thy cradled joy ;—How Time the blessings thy fond hopes pour tray Oft turns to curses , and tby heart a prey To keenest woe becomes—maternal woe That , like maternal love , the human clay iloTes more intensely than severest throe , Or most ecstatic thrill that mortal bosoms know "

      How thy best children , "Woman , testify A mother ' s worth , —attributing their zest For enterprize , or love of good , to thy Exalting nurture ! O let him attest A mother ' s worth—that Titan of the West—Unequalled Washington ! And if such men , That dwarf princes , vigour from thy meek breast " Now draw , Woman . what will thy Bom be when Man looks on thee no longer with the tyrant ' s ken * When chivalry ' s false homage is forgot , — When eastern jealousy no more immures And renders thee a vernal idiot , — "When thy young purity no villain-lures Are spread to blemish , —when thy mind matures In freedom , and thy soul can make its ehoice , Untrammelled , unconstrained , where heart assures The heart it is beloved , —shall not thy voice And loek restore to Earth its long-lost Paradise !

      That Mind is of no sex , —when thou art freed , Thy thought-deeds shall proclaim : our Edgeworth ' s sense , Onr Baillie ' s truthful skiU , Felicia ' s meed Of grace with perfectest mellifluence Of music joined , —or thy magnificence Of heart and reason , Keeker's glorious child : Problems shall be no more : Woman ' s intense Inherent claim to mind-rank , when befoiled No more by Man , she will display with glow unsoiled . And when her e ' lildren see her move in joy , ' And yet in truest dignity , —no more A slave , —no more a drudge , —no more a toy 'When from her lips of love her spirif s store Of high ennobling wisdom she doth pour Into her _offi-pring _* _. * ears , —into their eyes , Ere speech he learnt , looks Nature ' s purest lore Of truth and -virtue , —shall not Man arise Prom error , —nurtured thus , —and loftiest good devise ! ( To be continued . )

      Taits Edinburgh Magazine. November. Edin...

      _TAITS EDINBURGH MAGAZINE . November . Edinburgh : W . Tait . London : Simpkin and . Marshall . All who desire to know the real character of the much-lauded Nelson , will do well to read the excellent review of the "Dispatches and Letters" of that "hero , " which opens tiie present number of Tait From these * ' Dispatches , " & c ., the reader will learn hew small , indeed , are the claims of the victor of the Nile and Trafalgar to be enrolled in the list of England ' s worthies . His courage and skill as a great sea-captain cannot be questioned ; but as a negotiator he was contemptible , and he possessed none of the abilities requisite for a statesman . His hatred of the French was'unbounded ; and , with regard "' to that nation , he was throughout his life actuated by

      the most ignorant , bigotted , and contemptible national prejudices . He was a besotted admirer of kings ; and no matter hew despicable or infamous a king might be , Nelson would have unhesitatingly shed the blood of myriads to preserve the power or glut the vengeance of his royal protege . This he showed by his support of the infamous Neapolitan king and court . His murder of Caraccioli has left an eternal stain upon his name which all the lies and subterfuges of corrupt and lickspittle writers will fail to efface . His disgraceful connection with the notorious Lady Hamilton reduced him to the lowest state of moral degradation in his public as well as private character . Yet to such a man are statues

      raised ! Forty years have only elapsed since Nelson fell , and his fame already wanes . We may safely predict that the end of another , forty years will see his reputation at a very low ebb indeed . ' This number contains the commencement of ah American romance by Colonel Johnson , entitled "Jenny Basket , " a tale ofthe revolutionary war , and a welltold tele it promises to be . " The Life of Mozart " is an excellent review of Jfr . Holmes ' s biography of that wonderful genius . "The Life of Mozart" is another chapter added to the melancholy record of the sufferings of Nature ' s nobles , and the cruelty , tyranny , and meanness of those usurpers , who'by birth , force , and fraud , have acquired and held supremacy amongst men .

      'Tis true 'tis pity , and pity 'tis . 'tis true . " Notes on Gilfillan ' s ' Gallery of Literary Portraits , ' " by Thomas De _Quincey , is an exceedingly interesting article . The subjects of the "Notes " this month are Godwin and John Foster . The latter appears to have been much overrated . "We anticipate great pleasure from the continuation of these " Notes . " By-the-by , in looking through the list ofthe GilfiUan Pbrfraits , we are surprised to find the omission of such names as Byron , Moore , Dickens , and Jerrold . "Why ia this ? Madame Wolfensbergek ' _b "Letters from Naples" exhibit in startling colours the wretched and degraded state of the people of that country , caused mainly by the withering influence of the Catholic priesthood .. Some lengthy extracts will be found from these " Letters " in our Seventh page , under the head of " Foreign Movements ; " in addition to which we here insert the following illustrations of the deplorable _SBPEB 8 TITI 0 N OF TBE NEAPOLITAN _FEASANTET .

      The following adventure occurred last year to an Italian friend of ours , who himself recounted the par . ticulars to ns : — On the arrival of this gentleman with a friend on " a sketching tour at the small village of Cerito , amidst the mountains behind Capua , he engaged two little boys to carry his portfolio and drawing materials , and at once set ofi _^ thus accompanied , in . search of a . subject ibr the exercise of bis pencil . Some time elapsed before he decided on a point of view ; and , in order to do so , he made several circuits amongst the hills , which apparently excited suspicion to his disadvantage . Some hours passed away , and the mother of the boys , who was ignorant that they had left home with a stranger , began to be anxious at . their unusually long absence , and ran about the village demanding news of her children from her different neighbours . _,

      At that moment a man arrived from the bills , who had been a witness ofthe artist ' s proceedings , and , in answer to her inquiries , he bluntly told her " that she might cease her clamour , for her children were irretrievably lost . "So efforts of hers could save them , " he added , " for they were in the power of a sorcerer , who had carried them off to murder them for the purposes of his incantations . He had seen him with the boys forming his mystenons circles ; and by this time , no doubt , it was all over with them . " The horror of the woman at tbis information , the truth of which she never doubted for an instant , surpassed all words . She called on her neighbours to revenge tbe death of her innocent babes ; she ran from house to house , summoning the peasantry to join her in extirpating the monster frem the land ; and the clamour for revenge spreading from cottage to cottage , like the extending circles around a stone cast into deep water , the whole population of the district was ere long in a state of insurrection .

      The gentleman , meanwhile , unconscious of the tumult his movements had excited , was quietly making a drawing upon the mountain above the village . But however deeply engaged by his occupation , he could not fell at length to remark the increasing agitation of the country beneath . He saw the peasantry rushing from their dwellings , and forming together in bands ; a murmur , as of an enraged multitude , ascended even to the high point of rock on which he sat , and he could from time to time distinguish , that those who were assembling carried arms . Vainly he inquired of the children what was the meaning of this extraordinary commotion , nor was ittill he saw tbe multitude dosing around him on every side , and mounting the hills towards the spot where he was drawing , that a suspicion flashed on his mind , that he was the object of the people ' s rage . Fortunately , understanding their dialect , he was warned of his danger , by distinguishing the word sorcerer , frequently repeated , nnited with threats of violence , as the crowd approached .

      He looked round for the children , considering that their safety would prove the best evidence of the innocence of his intentions , bnt they had already disappeared ; and as huge stones , cast by those who had clambered to the rocks above , began to fidl around him , and a countless _threngof male aud female peasants , in every variety of wild ana ragged attire , drew nearer and nearer , some armed with guns , some with sticks and stones , and implements of husbandry , ond aU uttering the most hideous yells and threats of vengeance , he , and the young friend who was Ms companion , thought there was no disgrace in at once taking to flight . Deserting portfolios , sketchbooks , and stools , they therefore ran off with the utmost rapidity . Most fortunately they took the road towards the village , for the people believing they would endeavour to escape in an opposite direction , to gain the interior of the country , had disposed themselves on the further side of the hill in an ambush , iato which , had our friends fallen , they would probably never have escaped alive .

      They had not fled far , before they met the magistrate of the village , with a party of gens-d ' _armes _, proceeding to investigate the cause ofthe disturbance , and put it down by force , if necessary . They lost not a moment in claiming his protection against an attack , of the cause of whieh they had only a vague suspicien , This was immediately and courteously granted , and the magistrate proceeded without delay to inquire the crime with which the stranger was charged . It was , however , in vain that he sought to convince the people of their error . Even after the return ofthe children , they obstinately persisted in their belief of the gentleman ' s bad intentions ; and one old wamsn , who had armed herself with a rusty fowlingpieee , was with difficulty prevented firing on them . Though the tumult was allayed by the strong arm of uthority , it may readily be supposed , that our friend

      Taits Edinburgh Magazine. November. Edin...

      made no more sketches in that neighbourhood , and kit no time in returning to a more civilized district , where , even , if the belief in incantations be still retained , it bat not _sutScieat influence to excite the populace to insurrection and murder . In all his excursions since this adventure , he has lodged , when possible , in a monastery ; and for one or two days before he commenced sketching , has taken care to show himself in company with some pf the holy fraternity , to put at reBt all doubts of his sanctity . He has likewise procured a letter from the police in Naples , in virtue of which he can obtain an escort in all dangerous cases .

      It is well that strangers should be made aware of such a state of things , for this is not a solitary instance of outrageous superstition amongst _thepeasantry . A very short time has elapsed since an Englishman was attacked in a similar manner whilst sketching between -Salerno . and Prestum . He had enticed no children from their home ; no meditated murder could be brought to his charge ; and yet the people were as -firm ] y » convinced that he . was a sorcerer , as if he had called the whole mysterious science of necromancy into action . Unfortunately , whilst he was engaged in _sketching , it began to rain in : orrents , and the ignorant people at once accused him of being the cause of the change of weather . The next day , at the samehour , the same thing occurred , and their murmurs were redoubled ; but when , on the third day , the stranger was compelled to pack up his drawing materials by the fury ofthe storm , he found himself surrounded by an armed populaee , who threatened him with immediate

      des traction . Ignorant of their language , he understood not the cause of their clamour . For a while the people stood aloof , for they believed he bore a charmed life ; till atlength a woman , more furious than the rest of her companions , flung a kind of axe at him , which wounded him severely about the hip . The mob no sooner saw that he was vulnerable , then the attack became general . Sticks , stones , and hatchets flew on every side : and it was with the utmost difficulty that he succeeded in flyings short distance before his infuriated pursuers . Finding the door ofa house open , he rushed in for protection ; and most fortunately it was the residence of the principal magistrate ofthe place . This person , being sufficiently well informed tobe aware of the injury done to the neighbourhood by such events , anxiously sought to repair the evil . About adozenofthemobwereimmediatelyarrested , and brought into the presence ofthe wounded man ; and when questioned as to what had provoked their outrage , they all clamourously repeated the accusation of sorcery .

      George Cruikshank's Table-Booknovember. ...

      GEORGE _CRUIKSHANK'S TABLE-BOOKNovember . London : Punch Office , 92 , Fleetstreet . This is an excellent number of the Table-Boole The opening article , by the Editor , on " Railway Calls , " is accompanied b y two admirable illustrations . The first representing " Mr . John Buij . in a Quandary , or the anticipated effects of the Railway Calls . " The multitude of figures in this plate is truly astonishing . John Buil is represented seated in his arm-chair , perfectly overwhelmed with a multitude of railway imps , who have assailed him to make good their " calls . " One party are represented surrounding John's head and shoulders , and , with their open-stretched mouths , are screaming their demands into his ears . One imp has taken

      possession of poor John ' s hat , another has his wig ; one imp is dragging John's glove off his right hand , anotherhisringoff his left ; onehasgothold of John ' s neckcloth , another his pocket-book , and a third his handkerchief . Several imps are hard at work in extracting his watch and _sealB , and several more his purse . One posse are seen running off with his walking-stick , another are dragging his boots off . Two aire engaged bearing off Ms decanter of port , and a whole army are running off with his strong box . Two railway engines are employed , the one in taking off John's cash box , the other in removing his plate . In the fore-ground are a number of lawyer-imps , busy over an oyster-tub , taking in the " natives , very characteristically leaving the " shells" for poor John . To complete the picture ,

      there is , in one corner , a _viefr of "Bull Lodge" for sale ; and a rascally-looking auctioneer' is seen " knocking down " -Mr . Bull ' s " effects . "" Over the victim ' s head is ringing the " Railway Bell , " and the whole is crowned by the demon of destruction and despair , who , with the "Railway Times" in each hand , is proclaiming the end of Mr . Bull's " speculations . " The fright , agony , and despair of poor John is admirably depicted in his countenance , which really seems to be life itself . ' The second illustration represents Mr . " John _Btjil in Keeley ' s" celebrated character of " Willibald ; " in the extravaganza of the " Bottle Imp . " Of course the imp in the bottle is the railway imp , — " Scrip , " John is bawling out ; " "Who'll buy a bottle ? " * ''Oh ! do buy a bottle ! " -The ludicrous figure ke' euts 'is laughable beyondall description . ' In the ' excellent article , by the Editor , speaking of the probable 1

      situation of John Bull in a * few months hence , the writer says : — "Calls will literally tear him to pieces , and there will not be an articleke possesses tbat the great interests of locomotion _^ will not carry . away from him . A grand trunk will run away with his strongbox ; a junction of some kind' or . other will tear his coat in-two ; some stupendous'cutting will cutaway with his'cash-box : a tremendous tunnel will run-through all he has ; and excavations on an extensive scale will empty all his pockets . " * * * " When this period arrives , instead of a struggle to get hold of scrip , there will bean eagerness to get rid ofit . The last possessor-will be the unhappy . victim to all its liabilities , and every man will go about like the unfortunate individual who had' bought tlie " Bottle Imp , " and could only transfer itshorrid re-, _sponsibilities by getting hold of another purchaser . " The article concludes with the following

      EPIGRAM . ¦¦ '¦ - _ ' - _•'*• . ; The engineers who are _retain'd , TomakeaBurveyofabubble ; ' : ' '' ' - Now , the delusion'is explained , < - ¦ - ¦ ¦• Maysave themselves a world of trouble . ** Since knavish schemes have got a shake By their _impssture being knownlevels there is no need to take , ¦ _¦ ' ¦¦ _'• The railways having found their own . The "Legend of the Rhine" is drawing to a conclusion , the chapter in this number is very good . The " Old English Gentleman in a . New Light" does not exhibit that somewhat fabulous character Jn a very enviable light , . but , on the contrary , inavery miserable plight . . " Recreations in Natural History " _giye . some amusing " travellers tales" of the Munchausen order . The remaining contents are readable .

      The Connoisseur: A Monthlv Recohd Op Thb...

      THE CONNOISSEUR : A Monthlv Recohd op thb Fine Abts _, Music , and ihb Drama—November . London ; E . Mackenzie , 111 , Fleet-street , This publication has one fault , which , if persevered in , will be very likely to produce afatal result . The fault is neither the want of talent nor ignorance of judicious literary arrangement . The illustrations are faultless , and the contents are ever unexceptionable : yet is there " ae wee faut" which marks and mars every number—mars it , at least , in the eyes ol many , —tne Connoisseur is honest . ' The Connoisseur does not speak the language of a clique , or devote its columns to the glorifying of a few individuals , and the running down of others . The Connoisseur is not an advertising speculation , nor does it seek to win the patronage of artists , composers , musicians , dramatists , actors , managers , and publishers by servile puffing , miscalled criticism . The Connoisseur awards praise to to the humblest , where praise is felt to be

      due , and refuses it to the highest where truth and justice command silence or censure . This is honest ; but honesty is " a Tagged virtue , " and much oftener finds its reward in' rags , " than in '' purple and fine linen . " Honest criticism is distasteful to ethers besides composers , managers , publishers , Ac , the reading public themselves do not take well to it . He who would succeed , must , as a general rule , go with the stream , and not seek to guide it ; if he pursues the opposite course the chances are a hundred to one that he is overwhelmed and lost . We do not despair that should the Connoisseur continue its struggle for a time , that surelj , though slowly , it would acquire a class of readers who would not fear to hear the truth , the whole trutli _. and nothing but the truth ; and would give their hearty support to . the . truth-teller . We should be glad to know that that time had already come : in the meanwhile the struggle must be a

      s & _vbyq one The principal articles in this month ' s number are on , —1 st . " Amateur Criticism ;"—2 nd . " Holmes ' Life of Mozart ; " —3 d . " The return of Macready ; —and 4 th . " The Modern Classical Drama in France . " These are all excellent ; we must , however , award our highest praise to the first and third . The critiques on the music and theatricals of tne month are both interesting and instructive . The illustration , this month , is a portrait of Nicholas Pousse ., from a picture by himself , drawn on stone by H . C . Maguirb : it is a magnificent print , and will form a fitting companion to the beautiful portrait of MuniLLO , given in the previous number . By-thebye , if the initials do not mislead us , we must conand

      gratulate Mr . Maouire on his talent as a writer critic , which is only second to his talent as an artist . This all readers of the Connoisseur , will admit , who , like ourselves , read and enjoy the articles signeed H . C . M . , _ . .- . We hope that the noble portrait gallery of celebrated painters , commenced in thia publication , w _" be continued ; let ns add , that a short sketchot the life and productions of the painter , accompanying his portrait , would be welcome . We hope the editor oi the Connoisseur will take the hint . ' _. ,. , If our readers can appreciate a publication which in its every nuj hber proves itself " _fe ° W enough to be honest , and honest enough to be bold , "—if they « a . admire talent and independence , they will give their support to , and become readers oL tiie Connoisseur .

      Wade's London Review—Novraoab. I* Ndon: ...

      WADE'S LONDON _REVIEW—NovraoaB . I _* ndon : C . B . Christian , Whitefriar ' s-street , Fleet-Btreet . The contents bf this Review are generally of a substantial and practical character . There is nothing very striking in the present number , the principa l contents of which are "A Traveller ' s Diary , " gi" * S some interesting particulars concerning the famous Russian port , Odessa , a place , notwithstanding its importance , but little known to the inhabitants of

      Wade's London Review—Novraoab. I* Ndon: ...

      S _« raE » w > Pe : "Talent for the Stage ; " "Obser _sAiLll on _J _> nf ? age ; " a review of "Wakefield ' s _pSV _^ Zealand ; " and "Prose versus S _^ _""n the article on Odessa we give the following extracts : — ' . ' l Odessa lies about 2 , 000 feet above the level of the sea , upon a nearly perpendicular bank of reddish yellow _ochreous and brittle lime , which extends far into the intenor . s other species of stone or mineral is to be seen far and wide in the country ; and this material , the worst for _ouuding , is nevertheless the most commonly used far walls , and flooring of the streets . All the palaces wliich have not yet received their coating of plaster look , on that account , as gloomy and melancholy as ancient Roman ruins ; all the streets are unpaved , and in the fen * instances of foot pavement , where such is the case , the holes and gaps caused by the dislocation of the material inconvenience the passenger still more than a total wantol

      pavement . The fatal maxim of the Russian police , to build tonus—for the prevention of infectious maladieswith _streets enormously wide , and houses far off from each other , can nowhere be less applicable than in cold regions / ,. and has moreover the disadvantage , as herein Odessa , of rendering the proper pavement of the streets almost impracticable . In no place in Europe exists , there _, fore , such a terrible dust in the summer , and such an unfathomable mud in tho winter , as in Odessa . Strange as it may appear , it is nevertheless a fact , that even in the severe winter of 1830-1831 several waggons were literary sunk and buried with the men and horses in the deep dirt in the southern end ofthe town , and that the police bad no other means to prevent a similar recurrence of the accident than to choke up altogether the access to that part ofthe town ! ¦ I _aaw a caricature of that fatal accident j representing in the fore-ground those fatal waggons , and in the _back-ground a Frenchman stuck fast over the knees in the mud , exclaiming ; " Ma foi , je me fixe IS !" ( "Jn truth , lam staling _^ here ! " ) '

      There are but few Englishmen at Odessa , but a _superaoundance of Jews . The whole of a particular quarter is swarming with them . Their shy , sly , and wandering look , protruding from beneath a skin cap ( which many of them do not leave off even in the hot summer season ); their hair hanging dowh on both sides ofthe face in long curls , the long beard , the dirty apparel , the strikingly uuhealthy blown appearance of their _half-grown children ; impress upon them the indelible stamp of their Oriental origin . Almost all of them speak a corrupted German patois , which is , however , so intermixed with words from nearly all languages that it is with the greatest difficulty one can understand them . Even among the Jews themselves there seem to exist several dialects , by which the _Jewsfrom-.-Brody , e . g ., ; are distinguished from those of Pddoliaand Odessa . In their phraseology they always put the accusative immediately after the verb , which seems to be more derived from the Russian than the Latin .

      _Jfext to the Jew , the Russian attracts the notice ofthe stranger . Mostly short , round faces ; frequently turned up noses ; prominent cheek-hones ; a thick , commonly light or red , beard ; the hair of the head cut round horizontally above the neck , in the form of a round wig ; a low hat with a wide brim ; a sort of snrtout reaching far down below the ancles , and tied round the stomach with a red ' woolien girdle ; wide , and folded pantaloons , stuck into a pair of course half-boots ; a thick stick in hand . Such is the appearance of a genuine and national Russian . All porters , sailors , servants , waggoners , ke ,, wear this apparel . Even the hackney-coaches and the national _droshkas seem to have been imported from the interior of Russia . '

      The whole article -is interestiag and well worth perusal . The author sums up his description of Odessa in the following not very flattering words : — " Such is Odessa ! The picture we have given is certainly not very inviting j and yet so it is ! Dear , dull , dusty , or dirty , it affords literally no other allurements . butthe opportunity of amassing wealth in a short time , and then depart thence as quickly . " We miss in this number the continuation of "II Vagabondo ; " the authoress of " Leaves torn from a Record of Life , " is also wanting .

      Punch. Part Xii. London: Punch Office, 9...

      PUNCH . Part XII . London : Punch office , 92 , Fleet-street . _ Inimitable as ever , Punch is above all praise , and , therefore , it would be folly in us to attempt to describe our favourite ' s excellencies . Thanks — heartfelt thanks to Punch for the following : —

      . < _- > , NICHOLAS -IMD THE NUNS , By some singular illusion , when the Emperor Nicholas shed tbe lustre of his countenance on this country , itis well known that he was considered the very Apollo of potentates by the femaleportion of the English aristocracy . _¦^ -Beautiftil , yes , and good and gentle women , forgetting theatrocities ofthe man in what is thought the glories of an Emperor , crushed andcrowded for an introduction to the tremendous creature , and if he smiled , or said a soft ivord or two , the happy lady felt her nature sublimated , raised far beyond mere mortal happinesB by tie condescension . English wives and mothers forget the unmanly oppressor of Polish Women—the child _^ _stealer and

      the flogger . —W e now take from the Journal des Debats —certainly not the least temperate of French journals as quoted in the Times—an account ofthe murder , and the worse than murder , of forty-seven _PoliBh Catholic nuns , who dwelt in an ancient convent near the town of Minsk . Their duties were as those ofthe Sisters of Charity , " They instructed the children , provided for the widows and aged , and assisted the poor by ihe fruit ' s of their labours . " But . the Emperor Nicholas orders a religion for all his subjects , _asieonjers a uniform for ' his troops ; he is all for the Gree " kChurch ; though indeed , it seems diabolic mockery to . think of him in connexion with any church at all . Well ; theniins wbttld riot apostatise . "

      Whereupon"During the night Cossacks surrounded the convent , seized the nuns with the most revolting brutality , bound them with cords , and conducted them thus to Witebesk , nearly twenty leagues frem Minsk , compelling them to walk the entire distance . " " ey were then confined in a convent of schismatical riiins , and remaining firm to their faith , they were forced to perform the most vile offices , and ( hear this , ladies of England ) ' "received regularly every Friday fifty _lasheB . " They were covered with " wounds and sores . " ' They were subsequently compelled to work as labourers to the

      masons employed in constructing . the episcopal palace ! Finally all , except , three , sunk beneath their agonies . Three' escaped , ' and' one of them , says the Debats , " the venerable superior , is actually at present in Paris . " This being the case , we put it to those high-born ladies who thronged and fluttered about the man , under whose . rule such atrocities are acted , whether it would not be as well for them to invite over this aged nun to England . Having worshipped the tyrant , they would make some amends for the grievous error by showing the sympathy of true womanhood with one of his thousand woman

      victims . Capital are the following imitations : —

      , THE . LAMENT . OF THE STATUES . Previously to the determination of the Royal Commissioners to erect statues to the poets in the new Houses of Parliainent , they might as well have consulted the feelings of those personages on the subject , which we suspect would , with a slight difference of expression , he much like those embodied in the following lines . These we have had the imprudence to put in the mouths of the poets , and to imagine each speech inscribed , respectively , on the pedestals of their statues : —

      CHADCEll . Good sirs , I marvel what we here maken , Crete folk , certes , be sometimes mistaken , We standen in this stound by much errour , Ne poet was in Parlement before ; We are _fysh out of water , verily , I do net _breathS well this air , perdy , In the Abbaye we weren well enoughe : To put us here in Parlement is stufte .

      SPENSER . Troth , brother Chaucer , I am of thy minde , In Parlement I dp not feel at home , Where prating Dullness talks his hearer blinde , And dry Debate doth vainly froth and foam , Folly , not Fancy , from his theme doth roam , And greedy Patriots rave for pence ahd place ; i . Poets are fashioned from another , foam Than heavy marie of Statesmen ' s crawling race , Arid to be here , in faith , meseemeth dire disgrace ,

      SHAKBFEABE . Grave _drandsire Chaucer , and good Father Spenser , The judgment your sweet worships have pronounced On the hard mandate , and right stern decree , Which , much misplacing us , hath placed us here , Doth jump with my opinion . Here to 'bide Beneath the pelting of the pitiless Brougham , To suffer Roebuck ' s petulance t'endure The jokeless wit ' of Sibthprp , and to brook The specious eloquence of glozing Peel To any soul alive were Purgatory : — But to the poet ' s ' tis a worser doom . Oh that this monument were o ' er my tomb !

      _MltTON . My sentence is for walking off , oh Bards ! Though we be marble . Doth not story old Record how statutes , erst , have breathed aad walked , Instinct with life and motion ? Why relate Pygmalion ' s idol , arid the wife of clay , Pandora , she by cunning "Vulcan wrought For bold Prometheus ? Or , in modern days , The marble man that unto supper came To Seville ' s famous , but immoral Don , Hight Giovanni ? Could I here remain , Heavy debate to list with tortured ear , My Cromwell ' s absence would determine mine . Haste , then , and from your pedestals descend , To stalk abroad with me through London's streets , Dark ' ning with dire alarm the heart of town .

      SBYDEN . All British Art Commissions Royal sway , And when they order , sculptors must obey _. This poets find , whose effigies , like ours _. Are called to Parliament by princely powers . Hard it our fate , thus destined to remain Where Noise aad Nonsense hold divided reign , Amid contending politicians' strife , — Who ne ' er ware represented in our life . Oh , that I ne ' er the tuneful lyre had strung ! Was it for thiB , unlucky bard , I sung ! . Blackmore and Shadwell , after ages past , Rejoice ; your injured ghosts are now avenged at last

      Punch. Part Xii. London: Punch Office, 9...

      POPE . Curst , for ancestral sins , with parts and wit , , The Muse inspired me , and , alas ! I writ ; Oh ! had it been my happy fate to creep With thee , good Dennis , I with thee might sleep ; But immortality no slumber knows , And deathless bards can never taste repose , E ' en though Joe Hume invoke the drowsy God , And Sibthorp bid five hundred heads to nod ; Though Plumptre lull the House to rest profound , And _Bpooner scatter all his poppies round ; And Palmerston compel the frequent wink , Our ears in vain their opiate words will drink . Oh 1 brother Bards , whom Sculpture hither brings , To mix with statesmen , and to herd with Kings : Blend , sole relief ! your marble tears with mine : Would that we ne'er had penn'd a single line ! The above extracts are specimens of the good things in prose and poetry to be found in this part . As to the illustrations , they are Punch's , —what more need be said to proclaim their' excellence ?

      The Medical Times. It Is Now Some Time S...

      THE MEDICAL TIMES . It is now some time since we noticed this very useful and talented publication , which is more than ever deserving of public patronage . We refer our readers to a highly important article from a recent number , on the prevailing epidemic in potatoes , which will be found in our sixth page .

      Publications Received.—Cooper's Novels (...

      Publications Received . —Cooper ' s Novels ( Clark , _Warwick-lane ); The "Wandering Jew , Parts 2 , 3 , 4 ( _JClarkl ; Tales of Shipwrecks , Parts 3 , 4 , 5 , 0 ( Clark ); Memoirs of an Umbrella , Part i ( Mackenzie , _Fleet-street ); The Tom Thumb Songster , No . 2 ( Cleave , Shoe-lane ); National Temperance Advocate , November . f '¦ __; . '

      The Andover Union. . Anooveu, Monoay, Nov. 3.

      THE ANDOVER UNION . . _Anooveu , Monoay , Nov . 3 .

      Saturday Was A Day Of Triumph To The Tne...

      Saturday was a day of triumph to the tnends of the poor , and therefore one of signal defeat to their foes . At a meeting of the ratepayers of the parish of Andover , held some few days ago , it was resolved to return Mr . Westiake asa member of the towncouncil of the borough , as a compliment to him for his manly , honest , and disinterested conduct in connexion with the recent inquiry into the management ofthe Andover Union , in the face of the vilest and most dastardly attempts of some of the persons in authority to deter him from doing a public duty . Mr . Westlake wascompelled to be absentfrom Andover until Friday , for the purpose of making arrangements for having an interview with the Poor Law

      Commissioners , personally , to protest against the misrepresentations of his evidence given before their Assistant by that functionary . During his absence , however , the ratepayers of Andover were not idle , because their invitation to liim to become a member of the town-council was not idly offered ; and , alter a contest severe and animated , Mr . Westiake was . triumphantly returned , to the utter , discomfiture of those guardians whose gross misconduct and neglect of duty rendered the recent inquiry , which he was the instrument of bringing about , both imperatively necessary and highly important . Though several of the guardians are not entitled to vote for town-councillors , they used all the influence and meads they could command to prevent the return of Mr . Westlake . Amongst them were clergymen , whose conduct

      as guardians , whether ex officio ov otherwise , was too well known to have much influence among the ratepayers , Bribery and treating were plentifully employed , and all the low scum ofthe town was brought into play against Mr . Westiake . Even a certain noble Lord , who resides at Marlborough , and could have no right to interfere , was prevailed upon to come over to this town to put the screw upon a tenant in favour of the bone-gnawing starvation system . But all in vain . Mr . Westiake was returned by 118 votes , he being the only new candidate returned , and polling only 11 votes under the highest given for the one who _ras at the head ofthe poll . Will not this event speak loudly inreply to the tergiversations ofthe Assistant and Chief Commissioners , and the shuffling statements of the guardians , whose impotence and

      improprieties are the more confirmed by it ? Will any of those functionaries again dare to repeat the falsehood , that nine-tenths of the rate-payers were opposed to the inquiry , condemned Mr . Westiake ,. and supported the Poor Law system as carried out at Andover ? Why , Mr . Westiake has been re-elected to a new office which he never sought , by payers , of the poor-rate , voluntarily , simultaneously , and alike honourably to that gentleman and to themselves . Then , again , Mr . Hammond , the medical man whom the guardians are attempting to ; thrust into Mr . Westlake ' s post , was put up as a candidate upon this occasion , in opposition to that gentleman , arid received one vote . M'Dougal was not a candidate , but he and his son-in-law Holly , were very busy , in compariy with a poor lieutenant and the clergy , in fruitless efforts to prevent the electors from exercising their richt of puttine Mr . Westiake in the

      towncouncil as one of their represetatives , desiring thereby ' to testify their high sense of his character and conduct as a public servant , and their unequivocal contempt ofthe clique which would rather tolerate profligacy , cruelty , and fraud than honour the man by whose _instrumentality those offences havebeen at least exposed if not visited with the punishment they deserve . Another gratifying result of the recent inquiry is , that at the meeting ofthe guardians held on Saturday , the committee , ; which had been appointed to consider the dietary table , recommended that in future the following additional allowances _shquld be given , being of opinion that they were absolutely necessaiy : —2 oz . of'bread daily ; 4 oz . of bread on soup days ; meat three days in the week , instead of two only ; lllb . of vegetables , instead of three quarters of a pound ; and suet puddings on Sundays . This recommendation was adopted .

      Alleqeu Extensive Swindling.—Two Men Are...

      _Alleqeu Extensive Swindling . —Two men are at present in custody , under warrants from the sheriff of Lanarkshire , charged with various swindling transactions of a very extensive description . One of them calls himself Captain Paul _M'Gregor , of Seafield House , Arran , and the other is George Ing ) is , a spirit-dealer , in _King-street , Glasgow . The impositions with wbich the parties are charged embrace a great number of cases , and have reference to a multiplicity of articles j but the following are the more important : —Captain Paul M'Gregor , it appears , in the character of the occupant of Seafield House , Arran ( of which , by the way , he is actually the tenant ) , ordered from Mr . Yellowlees , coach-builder , Edinburgh , a fine chariot , valued at - £ 100 , which was received in Glasgow , and the vehicle , it is alleged ,

      was forthwith taken to Salford , Manchester , and sold for £ 45 . By a similar order a bull and three cows , of the Alderney and Guernsey breed , were obtained from an agent in England , who , no doubt , entertained the belief that they were to form part of the fancy or ornamental stock of a landed proprietor in Arran ; but , after reaching Glasgow , they were taken to the cattle-market , and , as is alleged , sold for what they would bring . In the possession of one of the prisoners , among other papers which brought to light many of their transactions , was fonnd the invoice of a second chariot from a house in London . Of this vehicle , whicli appears to have been of considerable value , no trace can be found ; and , therefore , as far as has been ascertained , it has never

      entered the avenue of Seafield House . Several pianofortes , gold watches , and other articles of value , have also been ordered and received from London ; besides other goods , of the most varied character , being ordered from Edinburgh , Liverpool , Manchester , and other towns . They have even dealt in guano , and quantities of this valuable article have been requested to be sent to Captain Paul M'Gregor , from Liverpool , but we have not ascertained whether the island of Arran has ever been benefitted in an agricultural point of view by its introduction there as a manure . In short , the transactions of the parties were so extraordinary that nothing which could be turned into ready money seems to have escaped their

      notice , while they took care to pay nothing themselves , and the authorities having procured information , wliich led them to believe that the whole was a swindle , they are now in gaol to answer for their conduct . Captain Paul M'Gregor appears to have been the individual in whose name the goods were ordered ; but his coadjutor , Inglis , is charged as having been the party chiefly instrumental in disposing of them after they were received . So iar as is yet known they have not favoured Glasgow with any purchases , their transactions being wholly with towns at a distance , and these the sheriff ' s authorities are searching out with great care and assiduity . We may further state that many articles pawned or sold have already been discovered . — Glasgow Argus .

      Extensive Forgeries bv a Liverpool Merchant . —On Saturday information was circulated throughout the divisions of the metropolitan and city police , that Mr . Lyon , an extensive merchant in Liverpool , in the Smyrna and American trade , has absconded from that city , having committed forgeries to a very large amount . Mr . Lyon is believed to have quitted Liverpool about Monday or Tuesday week ; but he was not missed until Thursday . It is supposed that he is in , London , and that he intends to quit the country . He is described as about five feet ten inches high , sallow complexion , black bushy hair and whiskers , rather prominent nose , dark eyes , thin face , prominent teeth , thin figure , and very . upright ; dresses generally in a black frock coat , figured silk waistcoat , light trowsew , and black hat , WeUington boots , and black stock , and wears a large shirtpin , and several rings on his fingera-is fond of smoking and is well known in the sporting world .

      Highway _Romu-Rr . -Saturdaj * morning , between two and three o'clock , as Captain Watson , residing at No . 29 , Park-place , Peckam New Town , was returning home to his residence , he was attacked by three men in the Commercial-road , Old Eent . road , who suddenly threw him down with great violence , and , while two of them held him down , the third rifled his pockets .

      Mit Mm. -_,__.-._. ._—Vwwv-^*-V^ V-_*W^W*^^- *^' -'K^&Gt;^' W%A ' /W

      Mit Mm . - _ , __ .-. _ . . __—VwWV-^* _-V _^ _V- __* _W _^ _W _*^^ - _*^' - _'k _^>^' _'

      Politeness Reciprocated.—A Criminal Was ...

      Politeness Reciprocated . —A criminal was in the county jail awaiting his trial for murder , with a reasohable prospect of conviction . The candidate for the shrivalty called one day to see hira , when tne prisoner , wishing to compliment his visitor , said to nim : ' ¦ If I should be . condemned to be hanged , I know of no one by whom I would rather be hung than by you . " The visitor , acknowledging the compliment , with one ofhis blandest smiles , replied : " And shouldl be elected sheriff , I know of no one I would rather hang than" you . "

      , Somnambulism . —An extraordinary case of somnambulism occurred at Chatham BarrackB , a few nights ago , Peter Slight , a young Scotchman , rose from his bed , by some means got into a drain , passed through it for a distance of five hundred feet , emerged from it , and , coming in contact with a post _. fell'down in a fit , in which state he was _discovered , . quite naked , and was conveved to ; the _miUtiry hospital . This was the fourth time he had walked in his sleep . An Old Song . —The King of Denmark is selling one of his colonies , a newspaper paragraph says , " for a mere song . " We _haye made inquiries in the city , and haye ascertained that the song alluded _tphi _* _.-" I ' ve no money . "—Punch .

      SONG OF THE RAILWAY MANIAC . ( From Punchii This is my left hand—this is my right ; These are my eyes , my nose , my mouth ; I can discern the day from night : There lies the north , and there the south , Shake not the head , then—cry not" Hush !" Lay not the finger on the lip : Away!—unhand me!—let me rush In quest of Railway shares and scrip . Ha ! ha ! 'Tis you are mad , I say , . You talk to me of Three per Gents ., Consols ? pooh , nonsense ! What are they . You prate of mortgages and rents—I tell you there are no such things :

      —Nay , do not threaten chains and whip , — They've flown away with paper wings , I And left us only shares and scrip . What ! Mind my business ? Fellow dear , You'll find yourself in Bedlam soon . Hark!—let me whisper in your ear ;—Look!—there is my business—in the moon ! That ' s where all occupation ' s fled ; Gone , presto ! with hop , jump , and skip ; How , now , then can I earn my bread , Except by railway shares and scrip ? Get in my debts ? Lo , how you rave ! Who thinks of paying what he owes ? No , tell me not that he ' s a knave :. In scrip ai . d shares the money goes . Mark yonder man , he ' s a trustee ,

      With other ' s stock in guardianshi p ; Where is it ! Ha , my friend , you'll see—; All sunk in Railway shares and scrip _. Stick to the shop ? What shop ? I ' ve none , Defend me—how the madman stares ! I tell you there ' s no shop but one : The office where they sell you shares . You have a tailor , —want a _cont Go , order it : you'll find a Snip , I'll bet you Sir a ten pound note , Will only measure you for scrip . I am not mad , I am not mad ; See where the shares on wirlwind fly ¦ Off!—give me back the wings I had , To mount and catch them in the sky . Maniac , I say!—you torture me !—You crush me in that Iron grip ; Madmen , away ! and leave me free To chase my railway shares and scrip .

      A _Mooert Speculator . —A " nice * foi ! ng man , " who probably wants a few hundreds with which to speculate in railways , advertises his readiness to give twenty pounds to any person having the ability to help him to " a pretty girl with two thousand pounds !" Escape from Quackeey . —A . provincial contemporary informs us that James Webb , a brewer _' sdrayman , has had his "face saved _from-beingeaten away by Holloway ' s ointment and pills I" Holloway won't thank our brother , we should think , for the publication of so damaging a fact . "Pat , Fair , asp Fifteen . "—The young Queen

      of Spam is described as having an " immense" arm , a " redundant" bust , and ankles " solid enoughtosupport the golden tower of Seville . " She "waddles " from '' excessive corpulency , _* " and perspires from the fatigue of carrying so much "blubber . " At dinnershe " swallows soup , an entire roast fowl , fish , pastry , sweetmeats , and preserves" ( her passion for " sweets " being preposterous ) . Her education having been neglected , her ignorance' is as gross as her person . Bull Matrimonial . —An Irish gentleman , the other day , in the excess of his connubial affection _^ exclaimed , ¦ _*• Heaven forbid , my dear , that I should ever fti / c to see you a wmow ! " *' ' '•'"'

      A Diabolical Doom . —A" poor miser , arrr iving on the banks ofthe Styx , swam across , and cheated Charon , the ferryman , ofhis penny . He was sentenced , as a punishment , to return tothe world , that ho might behold his spendthrift heirs squandering his money ! JAQUES _. 1 N CAPEL-COURT . ( FromPunc _/ i . ) AU the world are stags 1 ., , Yea , all the men and women merely jobbers ! They have their brokers and their ' _share-accounts , And one man in his time tries many lines , ; The end heing total ruin . . Frst , the greenhorn , Dabbling and dealing in a lucky spec ,. ; And then the posperous seller , with his profits And joyous winning face , buying likemad , Unwilling to sell out ; and then , theloser , .. " ; Sighing like furnace , with a _^ _woful prospect ,

      Of tlie next settling day ! Then the director ,, Full of strange . schemes ' , and lodged at the West-end , Keeping a cab , and sudden growing rich , — Getting a buhhle reputation Even iuCapel-court . And then the bankrupt , With is debts' schedule large , " and no assets : By all his decent friends entirely cut , — ' Pull of bad scrip , and fertile of freshsehemes : ''"" And so he plays his game . ' The sixth Step Sinks Into the low and herring-gutted stag , With spectacles on nose and list in hand ; His youthful gains all spent ; the world too wide-Awake to be _ta'en in , and his long Una Of hapless creditors thatidly wait And whistle for their cash , Lost scene of all , That ends this sad but common history , Is—Union pauperism , and oakum picking : Sans beer , sans beef , sans tea , sans everything .

      Positives and Comparatives . —A domestic cat is a tame beast , but Van Am burgh the lion king is a beast tamer . The imposition ofthe Income Tax on tbe public by Sir Robert is a cool trick , but a plunge into the Frozen Ocean is a cooler . India , from this country is far off , but a husband who runs awav from his children is a father off . ' Anything proper is fit , but if you call on Moses the tailor , you will find him a fitter . ( Some say he ' s an out and gut-Jitter . ) A retiring person is shy > but an English county is a shir . e . Lord Brougham ' s attempt to observe political consistency is a lame business , but a kick on the shing with the shoe of a ploughman is a lamer . An article without blemish is sound ,. but Prince Joinville , when lately off Brighton , was declared to be a sounder . — JoeMller , Mhs . Caudle . —Why is Mrs . Caudle like Sampso of old ? Because she is able to jaw a thousand Philistines to death .

      " These are Stirring Times , " as the spoon said to the saucepan . Flattering Resemblance . —A Southern Adonis , no way celebrated for his personal attractions , on completing a somewhat protracted toilet one morning turned to his servant anu inquired— " How do I look , Caesar ? " " Plendid , massa , plendid ! " was ebony ' s delighted answer . _"Doyouthink I'll do , Csesar ?" ( giving him apiece of silver . ) " Guy , massa , neber see youlook so fierce in all my life ; you look _jist aa bold as a lion . " - '' Why , what do you know about a lion ? You never saw one Caesar . " '' Nebber see a lion , massa ! Guy I see Massa Peyton ' s Jim rideone ober to the mill ebery day . " " No , you fool , that ' s a donkey . " " Can't help dat , _massa-r-yo .. look jist lilce him .

      The Collier at Kirk .. — A collier entered the kirk ofIiOchgel . y _, the other Sunday , when the minister , in his sermon , made Some observations about the capture of Jericho . The collier fell asleep until the kirk was going out , * when , on his way home , one of _hia neighbours called out , " Whaur ha ' e ye been the day Archy _* " "Ah ! whaur do ye think ? but at the capture of Jericho . " " An' hoo did ye come on , Archy ? " " Ah , lad , I fell asleep ; and they had Jericho captured , and were singing and rejoicing when I awakenei "—Fife Herald .

      A Mendicant Doo . — " I was travelling , " says M , Blaze , " in the diligence . At the place where we changed horses I saw a good-looking poodle-dog ( chien caniche ) _, which came to the coach door , ana sat up on its two hind legs with the air of one begging for something . " Give him a sou , " said the postilion to me , " and you will see what he will do with it . " I threw to him the coin : he picked it up , ran to the baker's and brought back a piece of bread , which he ate . This dog had belonged to a poor , blind man , lately dead ; he had no master , and be gged alms on his own account . ''

      The Bixse Bir . — " What for a shot V _aajd a gunsman to tat old farmer _standing near a pond where duckB were Bwimming . " Half-a-crown , was the reply . The money _waspaid , the _gmrfired , and three ducks fell dead . ' "WeU , old chap , how do you like that ? " said the sportsman . "Oh ; well enough , ' ** replied Hodge , " they are none of mine . " A SiiuNGB Religion . —A sailor being 8 uminon < j _4 to give * his testimony before a court , was _questioned by the judge as to his religious , creed . ' "Are you an Episcopalian ? " "No , Bir . " "ACatholic ? " HNo , sir . " "f ' _- A Methodist ? " " No , _siri" "What are you , then ? " "I am captain ofthe foretop . sir . "

  • Citation
    • Northern Star (1837-1852), Nov. 8, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns3_08111845/page/3/