Current:

Northern Star (1837-1852), 8th February 1845, Edition 2 of 4, Page 3, CURIOUS EPITAPHS. The following epitaph ...

Page 3
Page 3
3 of 8

On this page

  • Departments (4)
    • Uoettg
    • ISwttfbg
    • A BOWL OF "PUNCH" FBESH BREWED
    • .arft:3Bite
  • Text (13)
  • Transcript

    • Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.

      Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.

      Pebbhaky 8, 1845. _ *™ The Norther^ Star...

      Pebbhaky 8 , 1845 . _ *™ THE NORTHER ^ STAR . 3

      Uoettg

      Uoettg

      Botalty Akd Buckejgham. A Baixao Of Stow...

      BOTALTY AKD BUCKEJGHAM . A BAIXAO OF STOWE . Oncc more . once more , the Boyal train Speeds on in its race-horse progression ; Then dicer away , ye loyal throats , Since sycophancy ' s your profession . Cheer on , cheer on , our glorious (!) Queen , Cbeer Albert ' s form that sits beside Iter ' s - Atd cheer yon awkward squad of fools , The Chandos tenant would-be riders ! Cheer on , cheer on—the " nobl e" Duke Has loads of ale to wet your throttles : Koloyalty is half so true As that which springs from foaming bottles Men in their sober senses might See Kttle cause to ch » er such follies : But Barleycorn ' s delicious tomes Kspel tie worst of melancholies !

      fjctes , starvation , paupers' moans , Are horrid things when you are sober , But Queens—e ' en fair ( 1 ) as ours—acquire A brighter ray from " old October . ** Ko dmbt the " noble" Duke will Meed Bissnollen purse to crown the revels , Although his Grace ' s labourers want A crust of bread , on dti , poor devils 1 How pretty look those white smock-frocks—Why did he not with roses wreath 'em ! And yet it is a pity that Such skeletons are hid beneath ' em ! And flags they bore , inscribed , perhaps , With mottoes such as these we tell ye" God save the Queen arid Buckingham !» " God fill for once this craving belly ' . " 0 , twas an intellectual sight

      And fit to raise the soul ' s emotion . Those loyal smiles , those knees that bent To "Vic , not God , in fhear devotion « 0 , 'twas a thing to recollect T h rou g h fu t ure years w ith a we and w onder , Those clumsy clowns begarlanded , These beer-clioked throats' applauding thunder Is there , then , something in a Queen Here heavenly than in us poor sinners f And can a glance from Boyal eyes Fill starving stomachs with their dinners ? Can e ' en the sight of monarchs still The tooth of want , that knawing devil \ As legends tell , in days of yore , Their simple touch would cure the " evil V Can e ' en a nod from Royal head

      Disperse at once the clouds of anguish ? Cool the lean pauper ' s fevered brain , And bid the outcast cease to languish ? Caa Tic , all lovely as she is—To cast a donbt on this were treason—* Scatter bright blessings in her path , And warm old winter ' s bi tt er season ? Can Albert , inoffensive youth , Although his -moustache such a dear is . Hake Buckingham ' s lean labourers fat , Or tarn their haggard wires to peris . God ! what a mockery thus to raise The hymns of worship for a mortal ' Flowers to strewbeneath her feet , And thus throw wide each palace portal

      Godl what a mockery thus to sing Pecans of heartless exultation ; While grim starvation decimates , And taxes crash the scowling nation I Godl what a mockery thus to cb & er The tawdry train of royal weakness ; While shivering want lies cowering down , With not a shred ' gainst ' winter ' s bleakness ! God 1 what mockery thus to laugh "While myriad tear-worn eyes arc crying ; God ! what a mockery tftus to live , While thousands on the straw are dying ! ***** Speed on , speed on , oh Boyal pair , If or heed the muse ' s harsh reflections ; Enjoy your courtier-scented air , And Buckingham's low genuflections . Speed on , speed on , oh Boyal pair ,

      With fulsome flatteries lined your road is ; Flag and " smock-frock , '' triumphal arch , Fat aldermen and « wr « nd toadies ! -Speed on , speed on , each booby ' s zeal Fresh words of sycophancy teaches ; Behold , " his Worship" brings the " mace , " Ah , injured grammar , stop his speeches , Yet one would think the Eoyal taste (!) Must by this time be almost sated ; Both not this endless meal of praise Fall on the palate nauseated ? Hath not the ceaseless banquet yet Of adulation lost Its savour f Wonld not a little sharp cayenne

      Be welcome just to change the flavour f Would not one small bright grain of truth Vary these lies so sycophantic ? Troth to a Boyaf ear . '—good God , 'Twonld make Court toadies all quite frantic ! Let them lie on , then—Monarchs' ears _ Arc always doomed to be surrounded By buzzing drones , who never let Aught but their fulsome hum be sounded . Let them lie on , then—let them fill The bright cup to its fullest measure ; Let them dance , sing , and laugh aloud , We ioo can lan ^ K—thongfa not with pleasure . We too can laugh—a bitter laugh—A laugh of scorn and grief united ; Scorn for yon sycophants who kneel ,

      Grief for the pauper starved and blighted . » * * # # O n es me r e once more , the Boyal train Speeds on in its race-horse progression ; Then cheer away , ye loyal throats , Snce sycophancy ' s your profession . —Satirist

      Iswttfbg

      ISwttfbg

      Douglas Jerrold's Shilling Magazine.—Feb...

      DOUGLAS JERROLD'S SHILLING MAGAZINE . —Februabt . The ^ appearance of this Magazine , proclaming the resolution of its conductors to devote its pages to " a Consideration of the sodal wants and . rightful claims of the PEoytE , " was , we felt assured , from the moment we perused the prospectus , calcu l ated to excite the hostility of all those pimps of power , who , masters of the " grey goose quill / ' prostitute their g lorious pirvilegc to flic service of irand and the perpetuation Of wrong and oppression . In that expectation we hare not been wholly deceived , though we acknowledge , with pleasure , that the yelpings of the dissatisfien have been confined to a much smaller-number

      than we had antici pated : to a certain extent , therefore , we lave found ourselves agreeably mistaken . The excellent reception which , on the whole , the first number of this Magazine met with from the cntus of the press , we confess surprised ns . In many a paper in which we expected to find the torlent of vituperation let loose , we found , on the contrary , the kindly words of welcome . This proves one Of two things ; either that newspaper critics are aware that Mr , Jebrold has achieved a position from which , » long as he remains firm to principle , their assaults are powerless to dislodge him ; or else , that ^ in spite of the infamous politics of several of the journals to which wo allude , their conductors intheir own hearts feel the justice of the principles proclaimed by Mr .

      / Ensoul , andthoughthey themselves darenotadvocate those principles , the " still small voice" of eonacience ' bids them approve . Charity bids us to beh" eve that this last is the truth ; but either is pregnant with blessed hope for the masses , proclaiming "trumpettongoed" that their brighter day is coming ; for their cause is now pleaded by one of the mightiest of the men of mind , and his pleadings are listened to by all classes with admiration or with awe . y Would that we could say this of aU who liave essayed the critic ' s task in conning the pages of the first number of this Magazine . Would that we could confess that in our anticipations we had unwittingly wronged the whole of the critic order . But , we have Said we have found ourselves sot wholly deceived in wc be

      ^ anticipations ; ana most now permitted to ™» a few remarks on the wise coniments of the editor of the literary Gazette , who has thought proper to draw his superanmatedswordin defence of things as they are , a nd against Docglas JerbOLd ' s tanble" and "'dreadfel Shilling Magazine . n Editor of the literary Gazette admits that tk ^ is a momentous question pending between we neb . and the poor divisions of the community . J-fcere are prodi gious eviis and immeasurable jutfer *• $ *• He admits this j but it would appear he is ^ rj atDotGiAs jEBKotnfor exposing those evils and s ™ enngs . Is he then in love with human misery ; * au does he rejoice at the suJferings of his fellow pastures ? By no means ; he claims to be the ., " Wad of the people '' as well as Mr . Jebbou * ; but tuen he denounces " ouacks" nrescribhn ? their nana *

      "BSfor the maladies of the body politic . Of course ^ tditor ofthe Gazettehmo "quack ! " Fortwenty •¦ yjt years he , or his predecessors , have puffed into { S ?~ 2 * y » «** condemned to annihilation , those S ™ « f the press which have appeared before ^ forLteraryjndpnent . DuringthattimetheEdi ¦^^ no dwbt i kyclamitohavingdonesomethingto «™ u and shape the character of that literature , the patrol of which he has aspired to . . Well , after the jg *« f a generation , what are the fruits of the ****«* good management ? «« ProdigUnts evils and elafof f sufferings ! " ' But the Gazettewffldis-IS ° u the responsibility of these tilings , and say , 0 | Parliaments , soeialinstitations , taxation—these S ^ Mawnabfe , bntn o tthe Gazette . " What , then , !™ 2 « of the vauntedinflBence of literature ? If S £ ® to prevent the present state of things , it if m "t ^? powerless to change that state . And , whwh * - / attack on Vm & bs Jerrold ' s Mzgazine , eooOT if Were ^* vass ' mBst * ° P ° werless for

      Douglas Jerrold's Shilling Magazine.—Feb...

      Butlhe truth w , that thrpfpss-iweu ^ the term ' hVtWnV ^^" scuse-is all-powerful ; and has vfiX ^" used mo fi » evil ; but little for good , ^ hether as the recorder of history or the re taifer of Sfw & Sjr ^ S Tr tor of « m » mk » or the herald gum wingedwoitls " ofpoesv-ftcr aturehasmainlv been used to forge and falsify-to make « the ' worsc appear tlie better reason ; " to prop up fraud and tavoutv and ^ extendand prolong the reign of might oversight . Wesay that mainl y this has Been the ^ egrading use made of what should have been the instrument of the greatest good to the human family . lherchaveevcr oeenexceptions , particularly in poetic literature : for , ot all" the race that write , " the poet has the hardest task to stifle and extinguish the li"ht of truth within Mm ; though , even amongst the P ° 5 » now many have fallen from "their high estate , and become the mere things of vilest clay ieeding on the crumbs flung from the rich man ' s table !

      * i . T been the S cnmI state of literature -while the lAUraru Gazette has held rule in the " Republic of Letters . " The rich have rioted in wrong , unchecked , and the poor have suffered undefended . Knaves or " quacks "—{ the Editor of the Gazette may select either horn)—the literati oi the past , or at least the passing age , have been . Of such the present age has grown sick and weary . Mealy-mouthed sympathisers are turned from with disgust ; and teehng men , earnest men , courageous men are demanded for the exigencies of the present time . The demand is not unanswered ; for , behold , a Carlixe , a Dickers , a Jeiirold , and a Hood , with many others of minor note , have alread y appeared to proclaim the wants of the hitherto dumb many—dumb because them appointed voice ( the press ) has been a traitor to its trust , and betrayed the mission heaven had assigned it .

      The Editor of the Gazette , while dep loring the sufferings of the poor , denounces the idea that "bull ying and exasperating the upper and middle orders of society is the best mode of infusing into them the principles of generosity and elarft y . " Here is the fact ' . — "Prodigious evils and immeasurable sufferings " have been the result of the rule of the many bvthe few ; but these results must npt be exposed under pain of being denounced as " bullies , " and exasperators of the " upper and middle classes , " who , forsooth , must be fed with " generosity" and " charity , " gentl y as babes are with pap . Innocent sucklings ! " Exasperate , " indeed ! It appears to us it is the working classes against whose further " exasperation " every means should be taken tojguard ! But we must "infuse "—what a Godfrey ' s Cordial-like word!—into the upper and middle classes the princip les of generosity and charity—i . e .,

      "With bated breath and in a bondsman ' s key ;" we must implore of the working classes to sue for mercy , instead of demanding justice—to beg for charity instead of insisting on right ! - The Literary Gazette says— " It is a barefaced lie to ascribe all the wretchedness we see to the wrongs and oppressions of those who enjoy happier lots . " Of course giving the "barefaced lie ' ' to its opponents is a nice example for the Ga z ette to set in carry ing out the " soothing system . " We join issue with the Gazette , and avow our readiness to prove at any time . that all the evils the poor suffer , save and except such as the natural laws of the universe render all classes subject to , are to be laid to the charge of the rich , they and they onl y b e i n g re sp onsible for those evils . The rich monopolize the soil ; appropriate the wild- animals to their exclusive use ; make capital multiply capital through the workings of mills , mines .

      fisheries , and the endless ramifications of trade and commerce ; live in splendid mansions ; usurp exclusive power ; rule the state ; levy taxes ; make wars ; and enjoy all the emoluments , and honours , and pleasures of society . On the other hand , as effect follows cause , the poor are denied an inch of their motherearth ; die for want of food ; are punished for poaching ; create wealth , to subsist on starvation wages ; are defrauded of the fruits of their industry ; exist in wretched hovels ; arc slaves , politically as well as socially ; have to pay the taxes ; are the human material for the gorging of the monster , war ; and have to suffer p rivation , ( disease , and premature death for their share of the sock ! contract . Perhaps the Editor of the Literary Gazette will say that these assertions are " barefaced lies ; " facts of daily and hourly occurrence but too painfully and too incontestibly prove their truth .

      The Gazette admits that the " prevalence of extreme poverty , throughout so rich and prosperous a land , is a reproach to human nature , " and adds , " instalments may pay off national miseries as well as national debts . " How soon the National Debt will be paid off by instalments , the critic saith not ; but if the poor are to have no better hope " of getting their wron g s " paid off , than we haveof seeing the monster swindle paid off by "instalments , " their condition , we fear , will be hopeless indeed . The specimens we have riven of the article in the

      Ga z ette are fair samples of the spirit of the whole , which throughout is bitterly denunciator } - of Mr . Jerbold ' s Magazine . We are wellaware that Mr . Jsbbold needs not our advocacy , nor have we the presumption to assume to act as his defender . It is principles for which we contend , and the cause of the millions , dearer to us than any other consideration . We pass by the smaller try , who , in provincial papers have aped the wondrously wise saws of the Gazette editor . They are too few and too contemptible to have their little greatness advertised .

      Come we now to the second number of Mr . Jersold ' s Magazine , of the merits of which we have left ourselves but little room to speak : but there is no need of any lengthy commendation , when in two words we may embod y its worth—bxcbixest and fauxtiess . * The story ot" St . GilesandSt . James" is continued , and lacks nothing of the interest with which it commenced . Wc give an extract or two : —

      CONSOLATION FOR THE COLT . We cannot say—and in truth it is a ticklish question to ask of those who are best qualified to give an answer—if there reaUy be not a comfort in substantial ugliness ; in ugliness that , unchanged , will last a man his life ; a good granhe face , la which there shall he no wear and tear . A mac so appointed is saved many alarms , many spnKius of psitle . Tiiufe csa ' -nv , woami his vanity through bis fvateves ; he « st $ , drafss , and is mem , in dt-spito of mirrors . No acquaintance starts at sudden alteration , hinting , in such surprise , decay and the final tomb . He grows older , with no former intimates—church-yard voices!—crying , " How you ' re altered ! " How many a man might have been a truer husband , abetter father , firmer Mend , more Tamable citizen , had he , w h en arrived

      at legal maturity , cut off—say an inch , of his nose . This inch—only an inch!—would have destroyed the vanity of the very handsomest thee ; and so driven the thoughts of amanfromavulgarlooldng-glass , a piece of shop crystal —and more , from the fetal mirrors carried in the heads of women , t o reflec t heaven knows how man y co x combs who choose to stare into them-to the glass of his own mind . With only such petty sacrifice , he might have been a philosopher . Thus considered , how many a coxcomb may be within an inch of a sage ' . Tru e , there was an age when wise men—at least a few of them—glorified in selfmutilation , cas t in g sanguinary offerin g s to th e bird of wisdom . But this was in th % freshness and youth of the world ; in the sweet innocence of early time . But the world grows old ; and , like a faded , feshionable beauty , the older it grows the more it lays on the paint .

      One of the characters in the tale is a Miss Canary , an old maid , who , miserably poor , gets her living by selling bills of the play , and oranges in the gallery of Covent Garden Theatre . But poor as she is , she has one consolation— " She wasborn a lady : nobody could deprive her of that . " Brig ht Jem , a cosmopolitan linkman , in love with all the world but the rascals in it , cannot swallow the doctrine of

      NOBLE BIRTH . Nonsense , said Jem . I tell you , Mss Canary , there isn't sich a thing as a born lady in the world . Why ! you never , Mr . James ! and Miss Canary was scandalised at the heresy . Born lady ! repeated Jem , laughingly ; and then moving his chair towards his disputant , he touched her mit . tencd arm with his pipe , saying—Look here , now . There ' s Mrs . Grlmbles , at number five , she had a little gal last week , —you know that ? Well ; Mrs . Grimblesis a clear-starcher . That you allow ? And for that reason —now tell me this , —for that reason is her little babby born a clear-starcher ? Eh ! I should like to know as much as that now . O , Mr . James ! you ' re a good person , but you know youVe a low man ; no , no ; you can't understand these things . And Miss Canary smiled a pitying smile .

      - 1 tdl yon , said Jem , there ' s no sich fhinjj ae born ladies and gentlemen . There ' s little bits of red girls and boys born , if you will , —and you may turn ' em into—now , look here , said Jem , if there was to be some born gentlemen and some no ^—why wasn't there two Adams and two Eves , for the high folks and the low ones ? 0 , Mr , James ! cried Miss Canary , half rising from her seat—for your . precious soul's sake , I hope not ; but I do think you're an athlst . I can't ten , I'm sure , said Jem , no t compre h ending t he conveyed reproach . I don ' t know ; but as for my soul , Miss Canary , —why , I try to keep it as clean and take as good care of it as a soldier takes care of his gun , so that it may be always in fighting order against the enemy . * A much valued friend of ours writes to us as foUows : — "The first number of Douglas JerroldJs Magazine is a constellation of excellences , andyoumightas well try to select the brightest star from the Pleiades , as topickfrom it one article better than another . 0 ! I am fond of Douglas Jebbold ! He reaches the heart by no circuitous route ; by no slang , no meaningless punning ; but grasps tho heart of the sordid and the selfish firmly and forcibl y and squeezes charity out of it whether itwHlorno . I hare been a reader of the lUmninated Magazine ever since I read your first Christmas Garland ; so that yon see it is to yon that I owe my acquaintace with this true-hearted writer . I shall look for the second number of his Maga . zine with inexpressible interest . " Tnewriteroftheabove is a working man residing in an obscure village , in the North of Ireland ; but working man though he be , he has more sense , aye , and poetry too in his head , than threefourths of the conceited fellows who wield the critic ' s rod , and assume the rule of the literary world .

      Douglas Jerrold's Shilling Magazine.—Feb...

      _ The article entitled " " Slavery , the only remed y for ™ e miseries of the English poor / Ms the best satire , ot the kind , we ever remember to have seen since Ueax Swift s scheme was propounded to relieve the poverty of the Irish people , by the rich eating the children of the uoov , as asnbstitnte for sucking pigs * ihe wTitcriof . the article proclaims an all-important truth ; that " Liberty , without jjroperty , is but a phantasma . " This the Americans have discovered ; hence the discontent in that Republic , their Agrarian agitations , and anti-rent insurrections . The masses may be assured of this , that so long as property is exclusively held by classes , those classes will be the veritable rulers and masters of society , no matter what the form of government . A Republican

      profitmonger is , of necessity , as much a tyrant as a monarchical one . The only advantage of democracy is , that it invests the people—an immense advantage , if they have the sense to use it , with the power to conserve to themselves the fruits of their industry , thereby making themselves property-holders , and , of a consequence , their own masters ; slaves to no men . "Peasants and Pheasants" is a title which sufficiently bespeaks its purport ; it is almost needless to add that the article is an admirable one . The ' Recollections of Hazlitt" are continued , and are exceedinglyintercsting . " The Hedghog Letters" are every way worthy of the author of "Punch ' s Letters to his Son , " and "Punch ' s Comp lete Letter Writer . " From the poetic contents we give the following : —

      THE DRUM . Yonder is a little drum Hanging on the wall , Dusty wreaths and tatter'd flags Bound about it fall . A Shepherd youth on Cheviot ' s hills Watch'd the sheep , whose skin 4 cunning workman wrought and gave The little drum its din . 0 pleasant are fair Cheviot ' s hills With velvet verdute spread . And pleasant 'tis amid its heath To make jour summer bed . And sweet and clear are Cheviot's rills That trickle to its vales , - And balmily its tiny flowers

      Breathe on the passing gales , And thus hath felt the Shepherd-boy WhUst tending of his fold , Nor thought there was , in all the world A spot like Cheviot ' s wold . And so it was for many a day , But change with time will come , And he—( alas ! for him the day !) He heard the little drum . <( Follow , " said the drummer-boy , '' Would you live in story ; ' For he who strikes a foeman down , " Wins a wreath of glory !" . "Rub-a-dub and rub-a-dub , " The drummer beats away—The Shepherd let his bleating flock On Cheviot wildly stray ..

      On Egypt ' s arid waste of sand The Shepherd now is lying , Around him many a parching tongue For water ' s faintly crying . 0 that he were on Cheviot ' s hills With velvet verdure spread , Or lying ' mid the blooming heath , Wh ere of t he 'd made his bed . Or could he drink of those sweet rilla That trickle to the vales , Or breathe ' once more the balminess 0 £ Cheviot ' s mountain gales .. At length upon his wearied eyes . The mists of slumber come , And he is in his home again—TU 1 waken'd by the drum .

      " Take arms ! Take arms I" his leader cries , " The hated foeman ' s nigh ;" Guns loudly roar—steel clanks on steel , And thousands fall to die . The Shepherd ' s blood makes red the sand , "Oh ! water—give me some ! My voice might reach a friendly ear , But for that little drum !" 'Mid moaning men—' mid dyi ng men , The drummer kept his way , And many a one , by " glory" lured , Did curse the drum that day . " Rub-a-dub and rub-a-dub , " The drummer beat aloud—The Shepherd died , and ere the mora The hot sand was his shroud .

      And this is glory ! Yes ; and still Will man the tempter follow , Nor learn that glory , like its drum , Is but a sound and hollow .

      Cruikshank's Table Book—February. Succes...

      CRUIKSHANK'S TABLE BOOK—February . Success and g lory to the inimitable George and his clever editor ! The second number of the T a ble Book is excellent ; and will , we doubt not , work its way to the tables of a large number of the reading public . Unable to transfer to our columns the illustrations , we can give our readers but a very imperfect idea of the contents of this excellent antidote to the blue devils . We may , however , state that the literary matter is much superior to the preceding number , while the illustrations are all of the most mirth-inspiring description . The opening article on " Mesmerism" is particularly rich ... Then we have " The Doomed One : a Tale of the Nineteenth Century ;" " Guy Greenhorn ' s Wanderings , " a capital imitation of Byron ' s poetry ; "The Stage Seaman ; " "Letters from a Freshman at Cambridge ; " " Alice Brompton , or The Lily of Park-lane , " a burlesque of the fashionable novel ; with several other good tilings . We give the following extracts , the first being a specimen of

      CLASSICS FOB THE MILLION . JEneas , the son of Anchisesand Venus , was a Trojan prince , and he behaved like a regular Trojan on several occftfioas . He was placed under the care of a nymph till he was five years old , or in other words , put out to nurse ; -but his education was completed under Chiron , who seems to have kept " an ac ade my f or h eroes , or , perhaps , an evening school for classical adults . He taught music , Avar , and medicine ; so that he was one of the sc . l of general practitioners whom Sir J . Graham ' s proposed bUl would have licensed to kill or cure according to circumstaaccs . After leaving school , i & neas married Miss Creusii Priam . the daughter of old Priam , and had a son and heir np . mo-I Ascanius , He fought well in the Trojan war , and disthisnished himself in a manner

      worthy of the . fire brigade fit . the burning of Troy , carrying his old father pick-a-back out of the flames , with his son in his hand , but , / .- sband-like , leaving his wife to make the bestofher way ai ' fer him . Some say that he returned to hide her , for which others read Ida ; but Strabo makes him out a sort of Cubitt , who entered largely into building speculations , among winch was the rebuilding of Troy , with aU its streets and squares . But Virgil insists that he only made a passage into Italy . After some extensive travelling , he arrived wifli his father in Sicily , where the old gentleman died ; and the son , then going to sea again , was cast on the shores of Africa , where Dido set her cap'for him with considerable earnestness , iEneas gave her a good deal of encouragement , and had atone time serious intentions ; but the gods forbidding

      the banns , he absconded , to avoid the consequences , either by sea or land , for a breach of promise . Being again driven to Sicily , he consulted the Cumxan Sibylthe Mademoiselle LeNormantof those days—who took him to the Shades , where he met with the governor , Anchlses , who told his son the fate that awaited him . iEneas seems to have been a rather extensive ship-owner ; for after having lost no less than thirteen , he arrived at the Tyber , where he received an invitation to spend a few weeks with' Latinus , the king , who promised him in marilage his daughter Lavina , w h o was no re l a t ion t o " the lovely young lavina , " who , according to Thomson , " on ^ e had friends . " There seems to have been a misunderstanding about this young lady ' s hand ; for while-her

      papa had offered it to . ^ Eneas , her mama had promised it to Turnus . To prevent any Inconvenience , it was arranged that . ffineas and Turnus should "fight it ou £ " and t he la tt er bein g k i l led , the former married Lavina , and built Lavinium in honour of her , muc h on t he same principle as Queen Victoria caused the building of the Albert Gate , in honour of the prince-consort , -ffineas succeeeded his father-in-law on the Latin throne ; but cont inuin g p ugnaciou s , he was killed in abatUe with the Etrurians , or as some say , he fell into the river Numicujs , when his armour being heavy , and none of the Humane Society being on the spot , he was unable to get out agam [ and so "kicked the bucket" ] . OX A BLOCK OF ICE BROUGHT FROM AMERICA W ITHOUT MELTING , AND PLACED IN THE WINDOW OF A SHOP

      Uf THE STBAND . Ice placed within a shop or room Will t urn to wa te r , we presume , For ' t is a solven t all a g r ee ; But here In-solvent ice we see . Tet though we cannot solve the ice , We solve the riddle in a trice . It comes from Pennsylvania ' s state , And therefore will not liquidate .

      The Illuminated Magazine.— Febhuary This...

      THE ILLUMINATED MAGAZINE . — Febhuary This is a very superior number of the MumimUd , containing much worthy of praise , and but little demanding censure . " Travel and Talk , " by Luke Roden , contains some delightful sketches of continental scenes ; a short description of Genoa is particularl y interesting . It appears , that in spite ot its narrow streets , Genoa is a beautiful place—a city w Ealaces . "There is one street entirely composed pi ouses as handsome as the Reform Club-nousc in Pall-mall , all built of white marble , and covered with sculpture . High upon the roofs , or on the wings and porticoes , are gardens Ml of orange-trees , wadea with fruit , and roses and jessamines in blossom , the Queen ' s marble arch at Buckinghaii-palaee would cut but a poor figure atGenoa . , They , are building an immense- range of arches , forming a covered arcade , with shops , the whole length ofthe sea-front ; it is of admirable architecture , of unpolished rrnwe

      The Illuminated Magazine.— Febhuary This...

      marble , with just the mark of the chisel , and the top is to iorm a splendid promenade , also paved with fine marble , affording the noblest views of the city , the ^ i . " *^ j , and the sea , The town contains about 150 000 inhabitants , arid looks ' " as if it deserved to J * the capital of a kingdom . "" How humiliating that the hol y alliance" of crowded brigands were permitted to hand over this . splendid citv , once a powerful republic , to the petty despot of Sardinia' There is no writer in the Illuminated who so much enchants us as the author of " Travel and Talk , " possessing a benevolent heart , a highl y-cultivatedmind , and the power to clothe his thoughts in the choicest language . The productions of his pen are always looked forward to by us as a treat of no ordinary character . It is

      with regret , therefore , that we find ourselves compelled to express our decided dissent from the political views of , this clever writer . He belongs to the old school , and is , we fear , now too old to be made a convert to the now . A representative of the political feeling of " Old England , " he of course cannot sympathise with " Young France , " " Young Switzerland , " " Young Italy , " or " Young Germany . " Hence his sneers at irench Republicanism , and his opinion that the leaden Austrian despotism is good for Ital y ! We have not before remarked on this defect in this otherwise most pleasing writer , but we > re compelled to do so this month , when we find him praising the Russian Government , and expressing a wish that the liberties of ah independent people mav

      be put down by military despotism . The gentleman who calls himself Luku Rodexis proud that ho is an Englishman , and never misses a fair opportunity of exalting his own countrymen astheuoblestraccin the world—tvith one exception . What exception thinkest thou , reader ? The Russians ! Wc have always considered the Jews setting themselves up as a " chosen race , " as exhibiting most delectable vanity on their part ; but that this writer should place the Russians No . 1 in the list of nations , shows a taste on his part which is rather too absurd to allow us to keep a grave countenance . But he does not stop here ; he actually p raises the Russian Government ! That Government is Nicholas ; and when we have pronounced that name , we have in one word embodied a system of tyranny ,

      rapacity , cruelty , espionage , —m short devdisra , equalling in . atrocit y a n y thing , however horrible , that ever cursed mankind under the semblance and name of " government . " How disgusting it is to hear an Englislmiah talk , of the " noble , forbearing , and magnanimous" conduct of Russia towards this country , What : has it come to this , that England must be grateful for Russian forbearance ? "Russian forbearance , " indeed ! The very words breathe a hellish mockery . Where has ^ this vaunted forbearance been shown ? To Poland , " to Turkey , or to Oircassia ? Surel y Luke Roden must have forgotten the very names of these countries . Wherever , by intrigue or by violence , Russia could push her barbarously ambitious designs , she has done so ; and has

      never scrupled at the commission of any atrocity to achieve her ends . "Hew down in masses ! " has ever been the policy and action of the Russian Government wherever swords were crossed for freedom ; and forbearance ana mercy , justice and rig ht , would seem to be words having no meaning , no existence , in the Russian vocabulary . If Russia is slow to quarrel with England , it is because she has nothing to gain , but everything to lose , in a contest with this country . Nicholas ' s barbaric phalanxes may be sufficiently po w e rful to cr ush a disu n it e d pe o p le like the Poles , or a worn-out by-gone race like the Turks ; but they must not be arrayed against the legions of England or France . Neither nation need care a straw for the * ' forbearance " of the '' imperial" savage . Moscow ,

      it is true , was the grave of Napoleon ' s power ; but it was Moscow itself ; and Moscow ' s clime , and not Moscow ' s hordes , that saved the empire of the Czar from being trodden under the hoof of the Gallic conqueror . Let us not be misunderstood in these remarks . We have ho sympathy with the Corsican traitor—for traitor he ' -was to the principles of that revolution which ' hoisted him to power . - Nor do we find fault with the resistance of the Russians to Napoleon ' s invasion . A nation of slaves though they were , they did quite right in resisting to the death their invaders . Our meaning in the above remarks is , that while repudiating the disgraceful , idea that England is indebted to Russian " forbearance , " England has no cause to fear the much-talked-of power of the Ozar . That power is a delusion , which any attempt

      to re-enact on Western Europe the inundation of the Goth , the Vandal , and the Hun , would signall y prove . The march to Moscow was not less fatal to France than would a inarch to Paris , or an expedition to the Thames , be to Russia . There would , however , be this difference ; that whereas the climate destroyed the cohorts of France , it would be the nations invaded who would accomplish the destruction of the Muscovite hordes . Wc detested ! war ; and a war with Russia would be as much detested by us as a war with any other nation : but we repeat , Western Europe has nothing to fear from Russian ambition , and therefore do wc repudiate the silly language of Luke RoDEN—sUly at least on this subject—and deny the indebtedness of England to Russian "forbearance . "

      Disp leased with the democratic revolution m Geneva , Luke Roden takes occasion to vent his spleen against the Genevese , and adds , " 1 am no friend to the extension of the power of France , but sh o uld ce rt a inly se e with pleasure this contemptible caricature of a government put down by a regiment of French soldiers , and no longer suffered to annoy their gigantic neighbour by establishing a place of refuge for rogues , smugglers , swindlers , and vagabond apostles of sedition . " T as t e s differ . ' Luke Roden adniii'es nothing so much as despotism , provided It be a gigantic despotism , like that of Russia ; on the other hand , he detests nothing so much as a free state , es p eciall y if that state be small . We happen to nold views directly the oppo . site of these . There is one excuse for him , if Dr . Wigan ' s theory of the " duality of the mind "— ( L u ke Roden tvitt be acquainted with Dr . Wigan)—is based on

      truth . It is easy to see that the two portions of the interior of his cranium are constantly , or at least too often , at war with each other . Luke Rouen ' s " good angel , " or " sane cerebrum , " p romp ts him to sympathise with the suffering and the wronged , and sets him searching prisons , madhouses , and other receptacles of hunfan misery for objects of his sympathy : on the other hand , his " bad angel , " or "insane cerebrum , " prompts him to laud despotism and declaim against the rights of man ' . Here we have an example , wc think , of the truth of Dr . Wigak ' s theory ; for most certainly a perfectly sane man could not be guilty of such absurdities as is exhibited in such contradictory conduct . We tear it would be like sending coals to Newcastle to advise Luke Roden to apply to Dr . Wigan for medical advice ; but our own advice we may give . That advice is , to abandon politics , or else to study them more deeply than he has hitherto done .

      " A little learning is a dangerous thing 5 " Luke Roden is on most subjects a delightful writer ; but not on political matters . On political questions h * is , in our opinion , totally unfitted to address the niind of " Young England . " We arc glad to meet Mra . Postans again . She has in this number contributed a jilessisg article , entitled "A little Gossip on the Olden Time . " V / q drssent from this lady s opinion on the drama . . She thinks the drama is rapidly declining , and that its total extinction is not far distant . This is one of the fallacies of this utilitarian age . Our own conviction is , that less work and more leisure will yet be the order of the day in England , and with that better time will come an increase , an immense addition to the present number of thc _ lovers of dramatic , art . Hard toil and want of time and money greatly circumscribe the number of those who seek pleasure in dramatic entertainments ; but surely

      " Abrighter morn awaits the human day , " when all this will be reversed , o r at . least greatl y changed for the better , and then the histrionic art will , it is our firm faith , flourish as it has never done heretofore . ' - ¦ " -The Philosophy of Fudge" is a capital ex p ose of the vices of our social system . " The Pa st , the Present , veA . the Possible , contains ranch curious and interesting matter . " The Adventures of a Scamp " are continued , and . are not a little amusing . The poetry is this month superior to the average : we particularly notice " The Song of the Imprisoned Count , " "Throw not aside the Lyre , " " To an infant sighing in its'sleep , " and a poem , which promises to be of some length , entitled "Mirvan ; a Tale of the Moors of Grenada . " We close with the following extract from Mr . Carletoii ' s tale , the continuation of which in this number is much more to our liMllg than the previous portions .

      , THE INCENDIARY . What are you ? inquired one of the magistrates , with a very rosy round face , a very round stomach , very round blue eyes . anda carroty wig—once a citizen of London and a tallow-chandler , now a squire and dispenser of petty sessions law—what are you ? Nothing , replied the prisoner : last thing I was , was one of the Blazers . What a horrid wretch , exclaimed half a dozen of the justices at once . That i s , I mean , continued the fellow , I served as a waister in the Blazer man of war . And pray why did you leave the ship ? demanded the justice with the violet eyes . Because ; d ' ye see , I deserted , was the reply .

      We understand you are desirous of being admitted evi . dence for the Crown touching the burning of Oversley Court , observed the magistrate : to give up the names of your accomplices , and depose to the truth of your testimony oh oath . Now do you know the solemn nature of that obligation ? ¦ Ease away handsomely , cried t he s a ilor , and don't let your jawing v tackle go with a run ; what ' s the yarn about ? His worship , observed the clerk with a slow voice and solemn , visage , wishes to learn whether you know what anoatfc'te ' t Don ' t talk like that , said the waister , I s hould r ather thinkldidi ¦'' .. ¦ : . Tell the court what is your notion of an oath , ret u rned the clerk , with great gravity . D —n your eyes , answered the late membsr of the Blazer , * * All the respectable people present

      The Illuminated Magazine.— Febhuary This...

      were shocked j' " few in fustiaii and wooden clogs laughed . . - Areyou a Christian ? cried the bench , with , one rbice : horrible reprobate that you are ^ do you profess yourself a Christian ? r : : > . ";¦ " •¦ ¦¦ - What should . make me ,, retorted the ruffian ; and his clenched fist rebounded from the iron bar at which he stoo'd , like the sledge from the anvil—what should make jne i—was I born like a Christian , or bred like a Christian , or used like a Christian 1 : The first I knew of life was in a . coal pit , where I fared worse than a hound—worked a thousand times harder than a brute of burden , and lodged as loathsomely as a viper . When I van away from that and went to sea , did I ever hear my Maker's name except when some one swore bv it that he would have mo up to the

      gratings ? When I deserted from my ship and strove to I earn my bread by the sweat of my brow , did not men turn from me in disgust because I was as naked and ignorant as I was sent into the world ? And now , do I not stand he . re to be baited like a wild beast . nrought from a den more foul and forlorn than you would keep a tiger in ? . And , unless I do that which shall defile my manhood , will ye hot hang mc like a mangy cur ? And what brought me to this pass ? anything I could have done , or left undoneand ye ask me am I a Christian ? Suppose I tell you I don't even understand what that rate means ; that I am ignorant of this right , whicli , like a post captain's commission , seems a privilege to ride rough-shod over all creation—what then ?¦ .-

      %&~ The Continuations Of Coningsby And T...

      % &~ The continuations of Coningsby and the Chronicles of the Bastile , are , owing to the press of matter , postponed till next week . Publications Received . —Tail ' s Edinburg h Magazine ; Wade ' s London Review ; Family Herald , Part 21 , Tho Edinburgh Talcs , Part 1 ; Evils Resulting from the Game Loms ; Speech of the Marquis of Normanfat .

      A Bowl Of "Punch" Fbesh Brewed

      A BOWL OF "PUNCH" FBESH BREWED

      The Royal Speech . My Lords And Gentleme...

      THE ROYAL SPEECH . My lords and gentlemen , again 1 meet ye , With cordiality once more I greet ye ; Thougli I'd not have you work your brains to dizziness , Puay give your heads to the despatch of business , My dear a l lies , my foreign allies , Are acting with policy pleasant and wise ; For some of them come To see me at home ; But this observation expressly applies To Louis-Philippe , Who to Windsor ' s keep

      Came over , despite Anti-Anglican cries . Ah . ' the appearance of our country ' s coffers , 0 ! A rich theme for gratulation offers ; Our public purse we ' ve found the way to stock it , — We ' ve got at last a surplus in our pocket ; 0 , may it never cause so much dissension As—0 ! another surplice I could mention . ~ AU things wear a smile ;' Commerce has beca mending ; In our little isle All to good seems tending . Wages on the rise ; Lots of milk and honey : You'll not grudge supplies , — There ' s a glut of money . Chorus of Members . Tooral Iooral , loo , occ , < fcc . Poor there are , they say , Wh o endure h ard rubbing ; But they ' ve found a way

      To heal it by a scrubbing . Baths they mean to build Soon in ever y q uar t er ; Mouths will then be filled , If not with bread—with water . Chorus . Tooral Iooral , loo , & c , be .

      The Absent One.—So One Can Possibly Have...

      The Absent One . —So one can possibly have forgotten the immortal advertisement , addressed to two illustrious letters of the alphabet , of his being " earnestly implored , if he would not return to his disconsolate family , to send back immediately the key of the tea-caddyi" Might not a similar one be addressed to Mr . Leader , drawn up in the following style?— "Mr . John Leader , you a re e arnes tly implored , if you will not come home to your misrepresented constituents , at all events to send back the representation of the city you have taken away with youi Please address to the Steward of thejChiltern Hundreds . "

      A London Goigotha . — Burial-ground Incendiarism . — " Spa-fields burial-ground was originally taken for a tea-garden ' , the speculation failed , and a chapel was built upon it , in which some ministers of the Church of England preached . The bishop refused to consecrate , and it was ultimately bought by Lady Hu n ti n g don ; she inducted one of her chaplains , and it is now much frequented . The burying-ground is very large , but absolutely saturated with dead . This place offers a difficult problem for solution ; no undertaker can explain it , excepting by a shrug of the shoulders . I can ' a ffirm , from ' frequent personal observation , that enormous numbers of dead have been deposited here . " — Gatherings from Grave Yards ; p . 176 : 1839 . The secret is now disclosed , as will

      appear from the following facts . This ground is surrounded by houses , many of them tenanted by respectable individuals . ' On the right is a one-story erection , called a bone-house-. ' For some months past the neighbouring inhabitants having observed flame and sparks issuing from the chimney , entertained apprehensions that improper practices were in progress , and , on a recent occasion , called upon the enginekeeper of the parish for his assistance in extinguishing what they believed to be a fire . He demanded admission , bntwas refused and resisted by the gravedigger . Being determined , however , to execute his duty , he seized a crow-bar , and , having threatened to break in the door , it was opened . He observed a great quantit y of coffin wood piled round the room

      drying , a nre made entu-ely of coffins in the grate , and portions of human bones also . The enginekeeper particularl y noticed the appearance of the chimney , and charged the . grave-digger with having used water to extinguish the flame , which was denied ; and he was told that what he " thought was waterwas pitch ; " arid this was the fact . Thick flakes of p itch were adhering to the inside of the chimney , thus giving palpable evidence of the material consumed , viz ., coffin wood , about 2 lbs . of pitch being used in " pitching" round the inner joints of an ordinary coffin . The inhabitants of Exmouth-strect , Fletchevrow Vineyard-gardens , and Nortliampton-lW . intlie immediate neig hbourhood , have frequently complained of "a tremendous stench" of a peculiar kind ,

      which they say proceeds from the burning of human remains and' coffins . On a late occasion , . when Walters , the cngiiic-kcepei ,--an active , intelligent , and determined man , proceeded with the engine , on an alarm of fire in the bone-house ^ he was surrounded by a great crowd , composed chiefly of women , who declared that " the stehch'was abominable , " and adjured him " for God ' s sake to do all lie could to get rid of this . " Wheel-barrow loads of coffin wood have frequently been seen carried across the ground from an opposite building to the bone-house , and hot ashes conveyed from it in return and thrown into the graves . This burial-ground does not contain more than two acres , which will receive and give decent burial to 2 , 722 adults . Spa-fields ground has been va ployed for interment upwards of fifty years . The ^ ic ^ t f JUM 1 UUG 1 AUdjr vt > OIUIVU a \ l it / VVi

      CI ' T ; ^ T' . WJ- j There have been thirty-six burials in one day , but , strange to say , scarcely s human bono can be seen on the surface , it being the practice to hare the ground raked and levelled every Monday morning . How app licable to this Gol gotha is the following extinct' from Dr . Adam Clark ' s Commentary on Luke vii . 12-15 : —" . No burying-places should be tolerated within cities or towns , much less in or about churches and chapels . This custom is excessively injurious to the inha b itants , and especially to those who frequent public worship in such chapels and churches . God , decency , and health forbid this shocking abomination . * ' * * * ' From long observation I can attest that churches and chapels situated in

      graveyards , and those especially within whose waDsthe dead are interred , are perfectly unwholesome ; and many , by attending such places , are shortening their passage to the house appointed for the living . What increases the iniquity of this abominable and deadly work is , that the burying grounds attached to many churches and chapels are made a source of private gain . The whole of this preposterous conduct is as indecorous and unhealthy as it is profane . Every man should blow that the gas which is disengaged from putrid flesh , and particularly from a . human body , is not only unfrimdly to , Ht destructive of , animal life . Superstition first introduced a practice which selfinterest and covetousness continue to maintain . "

      Lbixh . —Noblb Conduct . —As the Custom House officers were on their usual rounds , about ten o'clock on Wednesday night , their attention was attracted by a violent plunge in the dock ; on hastening to the spot theyheardsome one straggling in the water . It was very dark at the time , and the snow and ice made the edges of the quay very slippery and dangerous . Unfortunately , neither ropes nor lights were at hand , and the very anxiety to procure them ( assistance by boats being out of the question ) , and the helplessness of the drowning man , who had twice sunk for some moments , seemed to cut off all hope of saving him , and rendered the scene painfully exciting . At this moment , James Carnie , one of the Custom House boatmen , bravely leant into the water and caught the

      unfortunate man in the act of sinking for the third , and in all likelihood the last time , and succeeded , after great exertion / in fastening a rope ( which was now procured ) round his waist , by whi ch he w as dr a wn up , and conveyed on boar , the Albion , from Ichaboe , to which vessel he belonged , where restoratives were applied which happily proved effective , although h e is still in a precarious state . Carnie was afterwards got out ; although in a very chilly state , and was compelled tawalk nearly a mile in his wet clothes , which were partially , frozen when he reached his hotfie . Such"conduct deserves something more than fthe simple approbation of the publico such men do honour tothe service they are in , and for such acts of humanity rewards , properly bestowed , would prove a powerful stimulus to further and , if possible , greater exertions . — Edinburgh Advertiser .

      .Arft:3bite

      . arft : 3 Bite

      Curious Epitaphs. The Following Epitaph ...

      CURIOUS EPITAPHS . The following epitaph of a blacksmith is to be found in Gainfordchurch-yard : — My sledge and hammer are declined , My bellows have quite lost their wind . My fire ' s extinct , my forge decayed , My vices in the dust are laid , My coal is spent , my iron ' s gone , My nails arc drove , my work is done . My fire-dried corpse lies here at rest , My soul ( smoke-like ) soared to be blest . EPITAPH IN TWICKENHAM CttURCU-YARD . Here lie I , Killed by a sky-Rocket in the eye , EPITAPH BV A WIDOW OX UER HUSBAJfD . Thou wert too good to live on earth with me , And 1 not good enough to die with thee .

      ^ EPITAPH OX A TIPPI . INO LADT . Her clay beneath this marble lies , Whose soul wc tvust ascends the skies ; She , doubtless , for her taste and merits , Is happy in the world of spirits . Modesty . —A gentleman advertises in a New York paper for board in a quiet genteel family , where there are two or three beautiful and accomplished young ladies , and where his society " will be deemed a sufficiency for board , lodging , washing , and other et ceteras . The Jour Trade of Humbug . —If a man wishes to enjoy himself for once ( says an old proverb ) , let him kill a fat fowl ; if for a year , let lum take a wife ; but if lie would live joyously all the days of his life , then let him turn priest .

      The Evils or " Single Blessedness . " —Poets have sung the pvaiso & of matrimony in many a sweet strain , that— Marriage , rightly understood , Is to the virtuous and the good A paradise below—To the fair sex especially the Immortal Will himself thus addressed some wise suggestions , for he tells them that-Earthier , happier , is the rose distilled , Than that , whicli withering on the virgin thorn , Grows , lives , and dies in single blessedness .

      Matters of fact , however— " great facts —are , as proofs of any position , of more weight than all the worshippers of the nine ever wrote . The following matter of fact , therefore , is worthy of being universally made known , and stereotyped over the mantle-S iece of every bachelor ' s dormitory in the «» w ' < in the 100 , or about four-fifths , were sing le , and six widowers . But among males aged 18 and upwards , two-thirds are certainly in the married state , and it would appear that the tendency to insanity is ten times as great among bachelors as among married men . All the returns exhibit similar proportions . "—Now , it may be true that , according to the old

      song-Happy and free are a bachelor s revelries—Cheerily , merrily , passes his life ; Nothing knows he of connubial devilries , Troublesome children and clamorous wife ; but , at the same time , if he wishes to preserve the men s sana i n c or p ore s a n o , the metropolitan commissioners of lunacy have clearl y proved that he ought to eschew celibacy and get through matrimony ' s turnpike as quickly as he can . Fulness of Joy . —A gentleman observed to his wife that she was beautiful , dutif u l , youthful , p lentiful , and an armful * American Tombstoxe . — " Sacred to the remains of Jonathan Thompson , a pious Christian and an affectionate husband . His disconsolate widow continues to carry on the tripe-aud-trotter business at the same place as before his bereavement . " How to Pbeve . vi " Fits . "—Buy a coat of Moses and Son . —Ptmch .

      A Tedious Courtship . —The Rev . John Brown , of Haddington , the well-known author of the self-interpreting Bible , was a man of singular bashfulness . In token of the truth of this statement I need only state that his courtship lasted seven years . Six years and a-half passed away , and the vev . gentleman had got no further forward than ho had been the first sixdays . This state of things became intolerable , - a step in advance must be made , and Mr . Brown summoned all his courage for the deed . '' Janet , " said he , as they satin solemn silence , " we ' ve been acquainted now

      for six years and mair , and I ' ve ne er gotten a kiss yet ; d'ye think I may t ^ te one , my bonnie girl ?" " " Just as you like , John , only be becoming and proper wi' it . " " Surely , Janet , we'll ask a olessing . " The blessing was asked—the kiss was taken , and the worth y divine , perfectly overpowered with the blissful sensation , most rapturouslyexclaimed : — " 0 ! womaw . But it is gude—we'll return thanks . " Six months made the pious couple man and wife , and , added his descendant , who humorously told the tale ; a happier couple never spent a long and useful life together .

      Lv the Pound . " —" How much can you pay us ? What can you offer in the pound ? " demanded the importunate creditors of a bankrupt farmer . " Alas gentlemen ! " replied the ruined clod pole , " all I reall y have is a donkey in ihe pound . ' " Courtship . — A man , to be successful-in love , should think only of his mistress and himself . Rochefoucauld observes , that lovers are never tired of each other ' s company , because they are always talking of themselves . A Usefui , Hohse . —A gentleman having a horse that started and broke his wife ' s neck , a nei ghbouring squire told him he wished to buy it for his wife , to ride upon . " No , " said the other , " I will not sell it , Iintend to marry again myself . "

      The Use of the iy may , and frequently does , arise from an inability to pronounce the letter r ; those who labour under this inability invariably substitute aw . Thus a lady told meat Cambridge that " Wicliard had got some twacts which Mr . Carc-wus ( Cams ) had given him , and he was to go to Twinity for some more . " The line , "Around the rugged rocks , the ragged rascals run their rural race , " b y such persons is pronounced , "Awound the wugged wocks the wagged wascals wun their wuve-waii wa . ee . "

      WELL MATCHED . If Albert , for his princely luck , Is truly caUed " the Royal buck , " He ' s matched right well , for ; without fuss , He has a mate who'll doe for us . A Nation of Humbugs . —Everything for the million but the right . " Turtle for the million , " " Polka for the million , " is succeeded by " Blanc-mange for the million . " This must be cheering news lor labowers who cannot procure bre a d , and also cheering to Ferrand , inasmuch as it goes to confirm his assertion , that England is become a nation of humbugs . Three Wonders of . Women . —First , at fifteen they wonder who they shall take . Second , at twenty-five they wonder they are not taken . And third , at thirtyfive-they wonder who they can find that will take them .

      Old Gr ! . "ERi : L « i are a veiy expensive commodity to Say country that happens to be blessed with many of them . The late Su'Kenry Grey was above sixty years in the service , all ihe time , of course , receiving pay from the country . 'He . oes ought not to be longlived , otherwise they are apt to absorb the people ' s resources to an alarming extent ; where & s , it they are cut off in the midst of their days , thc , saving u con s iderable , and the glory just the same . N . N . E . —The north-cast winds have prevailc ' , during the greater part of the week . An asthmatic " correspondent has expressed a fervent desire that the north-east wind should possess the property of the great American aloe—only to blow once in a hundred yea r s , ' .

      OttiHOGRAPHt of Namks . —Anamusuigcxampleof the obscwity of our common mode of spoiling was exhibited some years ago in a court of justice . _ A gentleman being in court , whose name the judge did not recognise , was requested to spell his name , which he ran off very quickly in the following manner : — " 0 , double T , I , double U , E , double L , double U , double 0 , D . " " 0—double—If you please sir , " said the judge , " will you have the goodness to repeat it ? " Again the gentleman rattled off his name as before- " 0 , double T , I , double TJ , E , double L . double U , double 0 , D . " "Double , double , double , "

      exclaimed the judge , we cannot make anything of it . Pray have the goodness to g ive us one letter at once . " The gentleman repeated his riddle of a name , letter by letter , and it ' produced the veritable name of OmwELL Wood . —[ From the Phono g r a phic Sta r , an interesting monthly magazine , done in lithographed Phonograph y . ] Giving Warkiso . — A gentleman , who did not lire very happily with his wife , on the maid telling him that she was going to give her mistress warning , as she "kept scolding her from morning till night"Happy girl ' . " ' said the ' master , "I wish I could givewarning too !"

      Eugene Sue has already commenced another novel , tobe ' ealled the " Seven Carduuda Sins , '' which is to appear when the "Jew" has ceased his wanderings . M . Sue gets the enormous sum of £ 4 , 000 for a novel . A Ticklish Question . —When the Prince Bishop of Lioge was riding to battle at the head of a fine body of trobps , ' ' he was asked by a spectator , " Howhe , a a minister of religion ; could engage in the iniquities of war ? " "I wage war , " Replied the prelate , " in mv character of prince , not of archbishop . ' " And pray , continued the interrogator , " whenthedevilcarries off the prince , what will become of the archbishop ?"

  • Citation
    • Northern Star (1837-1852), Feb. 8, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns2_08021845/page/3/