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    After a quantum sufficit of rattles and riot , sundry sudden impressions upon heads , if not upon hearts , and departures taken rather upon compulsion than preference , silence , if not composure , was restored to the domicile of Mr . Clackman . A nig ht spent in rumination prepared Mr . Clackman for the

    onl y course it appeared possible for him to pursue , which was to solicit the pardon of the offended family , arid candidly confess that the reports he had been the means of circulating were utterly groundless . The merciful nature of Miss Apsley , and the philosophic spirit of her father , acted on behalf of Mr . Clackman and his spouse , and a public retraction of the

    injurious assertions , and a public apology from the paltry pair , were accepted . Thus appeased , young Apsley rescinded his challenge , and the other members of the family consented to quash the action he had commenced . Mr . Clackman trow walked secure of the head on his

    shoulders , and the pence in his pockets , and Mrs . Clackman endeavoured to resume her former self-complacency . But the privileged impunity which had hitherto been extended to their pestiferous habits was lost for ever . People looked into them , and , what is better , looked into themselves—the Clackmans

    held up the broad mirror of a paltry detestable vice to all , and every one slunk away with shame who saw himself reflected in it . Conscience thrust its branding ; iron into many a breast , and the corroding canker was in several instances burned out . In those in whom a less radical cure was effected , a different plan of conduct mi ^ ht be observed ; they resolved not to make

    a sacrifice , but to offer up one , a much cheaper and easier matter . Mr . and Mrs . Clackman thus gradually found doors closed against them , and acquaintances fall from them , till there were no subjects left them for moral dissection but each other ; no incomes , or systems of domestic economy for them to inquire into but their own . Whether they found their finances in direct opposition to the flourishing condition of tlieir faults is not certain ; but , from some cause or other , soon after , their

    fellow gossips struck a docket against them . Mr . Clackman ' s house was advertised for sale ; and its cc mighty master , " li

    who no doubt thought that death was in the next degree , set sail also with his rude spirited spouse ; it might have been in " The Flying Dutchman , " for neither were ever heard of afterward : and therefore whether Mr . Clackman figured at sea

    after the fashion of Jonas , or established himself on some unhappy shore , as a Sir Benjamin Backbite , can never be known . M . L . G .

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    Sketches of Domestic Life * 179

• Citation
  • Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), March 2, 1836, page 179, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2655/page/51/