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    ' If , moreover , you stand in awe of common opinion , and fear lest if it be known it should be a reproach to you ; a lover , expecting to be thought as happy by others as he thinks himself , cannot restrain himself from boasting , and making a display to the wotM that he has not laboured in vain : but he who is not in love has command of himself .

    and can choose what is really beat , in preference to the mere opinion oi men . Many persons must unavoidably see and hear of the lovers who run after you , and if you are even seen talking with them , it is supposed that there either is , or shortly will be , an intrigue between you : but from your associating with a person who is not in love , no such inference will be drawn , because people are aware that you most associate with somebody , either from friendship or for some other

    pleasure . Further , if you are alarmed by a consideration of the insta * bility of all attachments , and by the reflection that under any other circumstances a quarrel woujd be an equal misfortune to both , but after you have given away what you most value , it is a most severe calamity to you ; then you have reason to be more especially fearful of lovers : for they are most easily offended , and consider the slightest thing an injury to them . For which reason they wish to divert the object of their

    attachment from all other society ; fearing those who have wealth , lest they should outbid them in money ; those who have instruction , lest they should outshine them in intellect ; and , in short , fearing all who have any desirable possession or quality whatever . Wishing , therefore , to alienate you from all such persons , they leave you without friends ; and if you endeavour to make friends , and so provide better for your

    own interest , you will provoke them . But those who are not in love , but have obtained their wishes on account of their good qualities , are not jealous of those who seek your society , but , on the contrary , dislike those who care not for it , thinking that you are scorned by the latter , but benefited by the former ; so that you are more likely to make friends than enemies through their means .

    * Lovers , moreover , frequently desire your person before they are acquainted with your manners and character , so that it is uncertain whether they will continue attached to you when their desires are at an end : but those who are not in love , but have obtained your favours in consequence of previous friendship , are not likely to be less your friends in consequence of the favours they have received , but rather to consider those favours as a pledge of future friendship . And , moreover , it is

    more for your mental improvement to comply with my wishes , than with those of a lover ; for lovers praise all you say or do * however unreasonable , partly from fear of your displeasure , and partly because their own judgment is warped by their desire . For such is the effect of love : if unfortunate , it makes that a source of pain which gives no pain to other persons ; if fortunate , it makes the lover applaud , in the person he loves , what is really no cause for satisfaction : so that lovers

    deserve our pity far more than our envy . But if you yield yourself to me , I shall not serve you for present pleasure , but for future good ; not over-mastered b y love , but retaining command over myself ; not vehemently provoked b y slight causes , but tardily excited to moderate resentment even by great provocations ; pardonin g all involuntary Gflenoe , and endeavouring to dissuade you from that which ia voluntary : * k— a *» the rins of what will be a lasting friendship . But if you

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• Citation
  • Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), June 2, 1834, page 407, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse-os.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2634/page/25/